Akuma no Bisho, Tenshi no Namida
by twisted eden
Summary: **PRIOR NOTICE** please read. Soujiro x Misao pairing. A dark sordid tale, of how a sudden turn down of trust and unrequited love leads to myriad of events--tragedy,betrayal and even death.
1. Fallen Grace

A k u m a n o B i s h o , T e n s h i n o N a m i d a  
  
By Ori Oscuro  
  
  
  
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F O R E W O R D :  
  
First to soujiro-misao fans (-_-); this fic involves RAPE at this very first chapter. Not on it's cruelest R-rated sense, but a storyline builds up to each and eventual unpredictable twists of events, and same time ponder on the psych of our few beloved Kenshin and. Co. ^_^… ~ori oscuro style, so if you think this is hentai it isn't! It's back to yet another soujiro x misao fic as usual; and well….I tried my darn best to make violence romanticized. Unlike my other mediocre soujiro-misao fics, this one is more on tragedy and emotional trauma, betrayal of trust and all entwine as mysterious fate tied a bittersweet tale of what is well….my most controversial fic I ever dared into. To add more to that, each chapter has slow yet emotional suspenseful pace (might as well a slow YET torturous and macabre pace...think of it as an alternate dark version of my first "Broken Nihontou" only painfully longer @_@). So slow, that Soujiro will re-surface to the later chapters! I'm just trying to test the waters on the dark side, O_o; and to Aoshi-Misao fans…I think you are all going to hate me in doing this (you'll read later chapters WHY). Aoshi and Sanosuke got more screen time and emotional phase with Misao…but errr…not the way you think it is _  
  
Oh, and the title means: "Devil's smile, Angel's tears"  
  
In Pacem,  
  
~Ori Oscuro  
  
X'ss: There are few poignant changes/ corrections (after some little research, thanks to Chaos-chan! ^_~)…mostly the erratums on the locations in RK that I neglected before: That the Kenshin-gumi lives at Tokyo (formerly Edo), and Aoshi, Misao and the rest of the Oniwabanshu's lived in Kyoto…wah, so gomen to everyone (_ _)  
  
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Part one: Fallen Grace  
  
  
  
"Omae wa ore no mono da..." Soujiro hissed, beneath those luminous violet orbs a sparkle of blue light hint that sinister thoughts have filled him once again, the strong uncontrolled passion to possess someone, something that is beyond his own control. His indigo gaze flickered with lust that is lost at the darkness as his grip tightened on Misao who flinched as the shot of pain run through her right upper arm.  
  
She could not see him, but the presence seems eerie and familiar, and all that remains to be unseen as his whole being is hidden at the dark shadows in the woods. There is a slinging sound and she feel across the stranger's body seems to be a sword. A blood lusting madman, where he came from she does not know. She waits for the cruel death coming, a slash of it to severe her head to which he could easily accomplish without remorse. But instead, what greeted her came in a flood of shock as his mouth forcibly locked on hers, his tongue swept to her own and she almost choked at the surprise as it searched, marking and claiming, possessing control. His other hand came down quick to clasp her beneath her long braided hair and while the other trying to tear her clothing from her back. The sound of ripping clothing knocked some sense on Misao, This mad man is not going to kill her, and he would ravish her before he does. Desperate to know who he was, she struggled with her hands clasping and grasping that face swallowed in the darkness.  
  
As she scuffled, she made out a single kunai at her one hand and with the old Misao quickly sprang to action; she slashed the kunai across his cheek and tainted Soujiro's face with a line of crimson. It caught him off guard enough to loosen up and Misao proceeds to kick him to the you-know- where. He lets out a feral snarl of pain as she quickly gathered herself up and hastily run to safety. The woods, I had to get out of the woods. Gathering all her strength, she leaped from branch to branch with the cold wind whipping to her torn clothing and exposing her bare back. Soujiro was not to easily give up, he leaps and sprints much faster in such legendary speed that he is starting too caught up with her... She does not have to look back, she doesn't want to. The sound was confused with the whipping of the branches and leaves. A warm gushing breath heaves at her slender neck. And her blood ran cold. "Yamete!! Go away!! " She snarled, quickly turning around but her fist greeted empty air. A slight chuckle and the amused yet unseen Soujiro re-appeared lightning quick at her unguarded side. "You left me no choice, Misao-kun..." as if to remark sarcastically, he knocked her off with a strong blow at the stomach. She gasped at the force of the blow, enough to draw a man unconscious.  
  
Who is he? How does he know my name?  
  
The young swordsman caught her in his arms and was not surprised on her endurance, he knew Misao... It was few days ago. He found her very interesting, indeed, someone that could compete with his standards. He can't help it; she's nimble and quick with a heart of a fiercely independent waif that he immediately falls for her at that day by the river creek as he was on the way out of Kyoto. It impressed him more when he learned that she used to be the grand daughter of his former enemy. The thrill to win her came as a blow when his identity is discovered by Aoshi; he was turned down with disgust and anger and with a threat to his life. He didn't like this to happen, he had no choice. All he wants is a second chance. Now he wants to claim her, as his own and whenever they like it or not…he won't be rejected again. He forced her down, making it this time and he pin her down among the bushes and the ground filled with tall crowding trees to bear silent testimony to what he is about to commit.  
  
This time he really forced her down hard, roughly at the damp pebbly moat. With her defense temporarily weakened, there is less chance of struggle. He threw off his arm protectors, hastily loosening his clothes and pining his weight against hers. Misao gasped as she felt her own legs being parted against by his own legs forcibly, while his slender firm hands tightly gripped her, and leaning down, he tasted the slim column of her neck. The taste of the salty skin, he reveled against it and then biting to her neck roughly in a fit of lust with his fingers digging to her arms bruising them as he takes hold of her as a hapless prey.  
  
"Iya, Iya... Hanase!!" She fiercely struggled, trying to avoid the wet squirm in reaching her ear. She could hear him chuckle, his expression full of dire hunger and an over eagerness in his actions, as his body presses against hers so lustily, his eyes filled with dark excitement. Misao could not bring to release her self from the entrapment, Soujiro's grip is strong and his legs are pressing down hers, in preparation to rid her off her own chastity. It seem helpless, and it filled her with rage, that she don't realize tears where streaming down her eyes.  
  
"You're crying." He commented, swiping the wet ribbons of hair clinging to his face. His expression darkened, his eyes flashed a cold predatory glare, his grip tightening as he neared his face dangerously to her own, breathing heavily close to her. "I'm supposed the one who'll be crying now, Misao! You don't know how it hurts to be disgraced!"  
  
She shot him with an enraged emerald green glares, and spat him at the face, "You're such a bastard, whoever you are….what do you know of human feelings?" The pain of the past shots through him, the statement reminds him of his tainted reputation. Her statement seems to echo all that the others could see is the old Soujiro with a cold-blooded smile as he emotionlessly hacked his victims. It's been a year since he starts seeking for a new life, searching for a meaning. He thought everything would change during that sojourn at Kyoto, the day he met Misao. He wanted her that day, in boy shorts and all, and he tried to know everything about her and get valuable information. The biggest obstacle is when he got to learn she happens to be Oniwabanshu's new leader, the paltry group of ninjas that defeated nearly the whole force of Juppon-gatana. He knew the danger being associated to them, but more or less he wants to put over the past and get with the present time. It wouldn't be easy for the other side to be so forgiving after all. He should have listen to the little voice in his head to hold back…but he stubbornly persisted  
  
  
  
Flashback  
  
  
  
"Damn that little weasel…you're gonna pay..." even at regular inns, fights with drunken thugs are unavoidable. Still few days more of careful planning, Soujiro can bear to excuse himself with the typical afternoon brawl, still contemplating if he would make the first move.  
  
Not about the fight. About the girl.  
  
A couple of days ago, he would journey out of Kyoto... probably he just visited to face the devils of his past. A crickety old woman who used to cook delicious squid balls before he left is still there, and insists he stays longer. She told that she knows just a young lady that would be a match for him, so he can stop wandering and stay at one place. He ignored it of course, but that day at the creek changed that. He nearly forgot to fill his water pouch as she watched Misao, with her long braided hair flowing and wearing what would look like little boy clothes, leaping from branch to branch with ease. He realized he had been staring too long to her short clothes, and was just about to getting turned on hadn't been the little minx throw a rotten fruit on him. "Hey you baka! What are you looking at?! " she snarled. He saw her eyes; it's the purest of emerald green.  
  
"Ahh...gomen! I just happen to see some...view." he scratches his head, probably at the first time in his life he never gave such a lame excuse, nor did he recall looking absentmindedly to someone that long.  
  
"Well, whatever "view" you are looking at, I don't like the thought of it stranger!" she replied, with slight arrogance in her tone. "You men...gah!! " she shrugged off, as if knowing Soujiro is genuinely sorry already and she leaps off, again, from branches to branches until she's out of his view.  
  
"You're blushing young man; you don't even have sake this morning." The old woman approached, having seen the incident all along. "I am! I don't know, I..." he appeared flustered with the remark; well he can't recall having such feeling. "Its better, puts color on your cheeks." The old woman continued, "You are wondering who's the young lady, eh?"  
  
"She dresses… too tight I think."  
  
The old woman let out a faint laugh as she packed the remaining food Soujiro ordered. "I see, well anyone who'll meet her the first time would say that. But everyone is used at her presence in Kyoto... roaming on short clothes."  
  
" She's from here? " he inquired, suddenly he sounds interested and also much to the old woman's amusement, " I think you and the girl are a good match for each other, both young, untamed and had great skills in fighting.."  
  
That explains her short clothes. "Tell me more about her, please..."  
  
"Well... she says that she claims to be the leader of..."  
  
The crashing sound cuts him off his daydreaming. The sound downstairs from his room is harsher than before, it was the same brawler and he seems agitated and brought some companions. He is challenging which he can barely make out of. Looks like a small boy, later did he notice the particular swinging braid and the furious green glare, it is Makamachi Misao, the girl he had seen few days earlier.  
  
"You don't know whom you're messing with!" and she prepared the tobi kunais on both hands, very sure she can take over them with one lethal swing of this little dagger knives. Soujiro estimated the ratio between agile lass and 4 rough burly men with swords and clubs, maybe it's this could be his good chance he had been waiting for so long. He stood from where he was sitting and kept the paper works and information he gathered in his duffle bag. This would be so easy, it's like catching chicken. But he made doubly sure not to be carried away, moreover, not to kill anyone.  
  
He threw a knife that zing pasts the first one nearest to Misao, it sure did get their attention. "Hey you, there! What's your problem?!" the brawler snarled, he could get his ear cut off with that stance. His other companions look over the direction of the challenger; they were surprised to be greeted by a youth with a sunny smile on its face, as if mocking them. "Bakaero, that kid would be just a waste of time playing hero... YOU get out of here! "  
  
"I suggest I can't do that. You people are being rude and must treat the young lady with respect over there..." Soujiro came out in much clearer vision, standing a few feet less than the troublemakers.  
  
It was the first time Misao heard someone call her a young lady.  
  
Soujiro continued, "Now, if you don't. You'll get a treat from me." And he lays his hand casually to his Nihontou attached to his side. His face is calm and serene, as if he is negotiating who will get the larger part of a food. But he sounds serious, having exposed his sword partially on view. Most of the brawlers starts turning white, "S-Sempai! That kid must be serious, only a few this days know how to use those kinds of swords! "  
  
The initiator of the brawl, who was their leader, scoffed out loud. "Bah! What would a small fry like you get to beat me? You ain't look like someone who could get around our territory!"  
  
Gangs. Street gangs, thieve of bandits. Now he gets it, Misao is doing her duty to eliminate some street thugs, but she can't do it alone.  
  
"I think thugs like you don't have right for any territory," he spoke, adding more flame to the arrogant leader of the pack. "Leave her alone, and let me be the judge of that."  
  
Misao find the strength to speak. "Hey, you are that stranger from few days ago! Just stay out of this, this is officially my business." The leader found this although out amusing and tries to take advantage of the distraction. "Past acquaintances, eh? It seems either way one of you had to go!"  
  
The man lashes out 2 hacking scythes readying to hack Soujiro. But the minute he lounged at him, Soujiro put out a defensive stance with one arm to block the weapon and he drew his sword with the other. He bent backwards, to absorb the blow and took a step forward, drawing enough force with his nihontou as he swung it to create a fatal arc. The attacker stopped dead on his tracks, and in a split second, crimson slits flew to the air from the enemy's wrist and ankles: disabling any possible blow. The attacker cried in pain and surprise, and was greeted by the mortified looks by his lackeys. "Kuso ...Sempai that kid just moved like a pro! We got to retreat for now! " the disgruntled leader look mockingly at his scared comrades, "Bah! I won't such a little boy get in my way!"  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked Misao, his voice having raise concern. His attention seems completely diverted from the raging beaten loser from behind. "Oh, it's nothing stranger. It's just a scratch..." Her eyes widen, "You don't happen to be a ronin, didn't you?" Soujiro is prepared to answer the worst of questions but he noticed Misao's eyes widened in an unnatural degree. He noticed the injured thug charging from behind through her eyes reflection.  
  
"Prepare to die you bastard!!" the man screamed charging with a rough samurai sword, noticing that Soujiro had already put his sword aside and would be too late to draw it out.  
  
Misao thought the stranger would be goner for sure. But to other people's surprise, Soujiro draw the enemy's weapon in an eye blink, injured by its own weapon with a slash at the neck. But gladly the injury is nowhere near a major vein and the enemy ends up gasping furiously for air, as he stumbles quickly with his comrades, out of the inn and limping. This man got a swift pace and a move like a ninja, Misao recall in a slow motion, just when the weapon was to sink to his flesh, he grabs and twists the grip off with his body avoiding the blade in one complex maneuver as he takes hold of the weapon, Having enough force to deliver a blow before the enemy knows it's coming. He had master such hard move and execute is so nice and quick, no one can tell how complicated it looks like. He seems good, having mastered it so young  
  
  
  
Young? Misao blinked, this youth got a making of a ronin. He might be a retiring ronin like Himura. He is even better looking than Himura's. At least he didn't have any scar...  
  
"You handle like those losers everyday?" Soujiro questioned, Misao was caught in surprise that he might realize she is observing him a little too long. She flinched and grumbled.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"You look too young to be one, ain't ya?"  
  
"To be a ronin?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
" ..And I think you are a ronin! You demonstrated a complicated move the last time that will take years! I don't think someone young like you could deliver a blow like that!! " Misao said out loud. Soujiro could help but be amused at Misao's curiosity, after all he always been asked the same question by several travelers he'd help among the way. "Yes I used to be a ronin. But now at 21, I'm thinking of retiring already." Misao gaped; surely the youth isn't serious when he said he is only 21. As if noticing Misao's expression, "It's a very pretty long story…" he said, and turns around to make his exit. It's not just the time to explain.  
  
"What's your name?" Misao called out loud, "Hey, stranger!! Good looking-Im-not-so sociable stranger…what's your name?! "  
  
With his back turned and have already walked a couple of few feet away, he tried to restrain to laugh as she called him "good-looking." He looked back and smiled, letting out a wave  
  
"Sore wa himitsu, desu!"  
  
"That's not fair!!" she yelled.  
  
Life isn't always fair…  
  
  
  
"You don't know me!! Why are you doing this?! Who are you?! " she screamed, with her futile attempts to stall him as she tried prying off the body atop of her. His arms, if she could just pull off his arms…then maybe  
  
"Oh, but I do know you Misao." The voice spoke coldly, it seems she could imagine whoever face it is he would be smiling in the dark, her curses and acts of hostility only motivates him more: his mouth took to hers again to silence her and his hands roamed reaching her chest. Upon feeling her up, he tears them open even with her ineffectual attempt to hold back. Misao felt cold and bare, her front opened and revealed shamelessly as her torn back. She shuddered as cold nimble fingers and palms slowly and intensely groped at her exposed naked breasts, "…Now you know how to be treated as a grown woman, Misao! And I'm going to give it to you…" Soujiro laughed, his head now giddy and delirious with excitement, and he lost it. All what is now running to his mind is lust, thinking just how she could have looked wonderfully naked to his sight, how to feel her warm body across with his own that he never felt in his whole life…and how would she taste like…  
  
"I beg you please…don't do this to me!! " she cried, the torrid moist and darting kisses she felt that presses down to her neck and down traveling to her modest cleavage, tasting her skin as if he is sucking sweet licorice. One of his hand hold both of her arms folded up to prevent any much more struggle, the other reached down and slid to the uncharted region of her chastity. She then suddenly felt the cold fingers slip in between touching her sensitive core. Her mouth open once more for a sudden protest, but Soujiro locked it with his own again…drowning and choking her cries as he slowly desecrated her being. He felt up within her, his own body moving in a quickening rhythm as he pressed himself closer to her, feeling her up gradually and while pleasurably getting turned on with his groin feeling hard and hot as flame. He reveled upon feeling the sleek wetness between her legs; he knew she came even in against her will. Pools of tears filled her tightly shut-eyes, refusing to look on him, as he reached within deep in her. She has somehow muted herself in shock, her mouth bruised by the rough kisses, as Soujiro detached his mouth to gasp for air. Her fingernails has also dug bruise marks of it's own to his other hand.  
  
Aoshi-san…sukutte kudasai, save me from this mad man…she silently prayed, whimpering. She could feel that Soujiro is undressing her to easily gain access, and he himself eagerly starts untying his hakama's. Misao couldn't see much more or less in the dark, but she felt something rigid pressing below her trying to force entry to her now damp womanhood. In last desperate attempt, she let out her futile defense once more.  
  
"You bastard! Let me go!! " she clawed, and kicked at the merged blackness that masked Soujiro's features. But he didn't give up that easily, not now. He is feeling in total possession of her, at all costs he shall have her no matter what. He snarled, and stabbed a couple of knives to the ground. With it he quickly bounded her fists, and then gagged her mouth by the ribbon that uses to bind her waist. Cruel it is, he don't know what he is doing anymore: it's just the will to have her.  
  
"I'm so sorry Misao…" his jaded tone of voice whispered, "If just Aoshi-san has given me a chance. Too bad his isn't here to save you! There is nothing he could do would change or bring back what was lost. "  
  
  
  
He also knew Aoshi?  
  
But she don't have a moment to ponder on that fact, for in all of a sudden Soujiro hoisted her bare legs up to his separate shoulders… enough to let most of the blood to rush to her head, making her feel dizzy for a moment. Then suddenly came a searing hot pain that lanced between her legs, and a long painful moan escaped from her gagged mouth.  
  
It's too late.  
  
The pain is god forsaken unbearable, but there is even more. He starts to plunge deeper within her being, thrusting so deep enough through her womb that she swore she must be already bleeding. The stranger is leaning to her even closer, heaving from slight exhaustion and excitement. He advanced close enough to savor her more till he himself will come inside her being. At one defiant act, Misao dug both fingers deep into his arms, enough for him to withdrew back…and tears off a piece of his sleeve. She struggled to loosen up the gag from her mouth, enough to…  
  
"AOSHI!!! Tasukeru, Sukutte kudasai!!!!! "  
  
  
  
"Damare, bakaero!!!" Soujiro hissed, and hit her hard with the bottom of his sword. Her attempts to cry out again was cut off by the surging of his own mouth, as took one last more in drawing the frenzied joy of her climax and plunging himself over the edge into the violent, shuddering world of surcease.  
  
  
  
***translations: "omae wa ore no mono da" = "you belong to me/ you are now mine"; "Tasukeru" = "help"; "Sukutte kudasai" = "Please save me" 


	2. Truth and Consequences, Trust and Betray...

Part two: Truth and consequences; Trust and betrayal  
  
  
  
Back in the residence,  
  
It is already getting dark, and still no sign of Misao. She rarely arrives late at home and at that noon she seems to be just lively and happy as usual when she left, Aoshi thought. The peaceful stillness in the house was then disturbed by a crashing of the tea glasses coming from the porch, knocking him out of his deep thoughts.  
  
"Master Aoshi! Let me take care of it."  
  
"No, I'm okay.I'm fine." He was never worried like this before, for Misao. He felt something immensely wrong has happened, he sensed like he heard her scream. His agitation starts to show as he never was clumsy before, he was supposed to reaches for tea but end up crashing the whole thing. He had to phase out to the porch so that no one will notice the disturbed air around him. She is old enough to take care of herself; he said to himself silently.she can look after her own well-being..Misao.  
  
********** Is it because of Soujiro?  
  
"I will never allow it."  
  
It was yesterday night, and it was already starting to pour. Soujiro willed himself to go to Okina's residence and do the impossible; he shall talk to Aoshi.about Misao, his grown adoptive daughter. The rather small talk seems to sound like a confrontation between these two former adversaries.  
  
"Aoshi-san, I risked myself to come in your stronghold." the young ronin pleaded, "All I want is just one chance,"  
  
"It happens once, and I'm not letting happen again. You are trying to convince me with your sweet words."  
  
"That is a long time ago, it was different! I served under an influence of a master; I am not that kind of person anymore."  
  
"How can you tell, Soujiro?" Aoshi spoke, his arms crossed to his chest. His tall frame is almost shadowing that of the youth in front of him. "An old dog can't be taught of new tricks, and an assassin is always being an assassin." He looked at him coldly, with his icy blue glare "And for what you are thinking, you can never have Misao. For she will never like you even if you try. She will never have the man who nearly destroyed her family. Nothing you could do would change or bring back what was lost"  
  
Nothing you could do would change or bring back what was lost..  
  
With that statement that reverberated in his mind, the sounds of clashing thunder greeted in twin with his sudden shock.  
  
Soujiro was rendered speechless for awhile, "Go, before I change my mind." Aoshi said, already beneath his coat is one of his swords, he is threatening for Soujiro to leave immediately. The youth stood there for awhile, with his head bent.and beneath the calm exterior, Soujiro's hands tightened so deep that it reddened the palms and his grip starting to shake.  
  
"Omae no korosu, so leave!"  
  
"I will have her Aoshi, no matter what."  
  
Before Aoshi could take another step, Soujiro walked out and after a considerable distance, he starts to run away.  
  
**********  
  
"There is no such possibility." he said tersely to himself, Soujiro could not do anything about his decision. Surely, he must be so broken hearted that he might have leaved early that day for another town. But still, a nagging voice inside of him told him to look outside.like a strong premonition he feels invisibly drawn among the nearby bushes by the entrance  
  
"It is getting late, Master Aoshi. Don't you think Misao have slept somewhere else already?"  
  
"What did she told you on where was she going?"  
  
"Just hanging by the town," the attendant shrugged,  
  
"Does she look fine when she left?"  
  
"Why yes, Master Aoshi. Same as always."  
  
  
  
Aoshi signaled the attendant to leave him alone and he'll take it from there, letting the rest of the household take the well-deserved sleep. It took him hours, and hours of long wait at the entrance before he could see a stumbling shadowed figure in the view.  
  
"Misao?!" he knew that figure, with that long swishing braid. But something alarming caught his eye, she seems to wobble and stumble as she walks. He rushed to see her into a clearer view and what he saw that washed him with absolute horror, Misao's body and face is bruised all over, some parts reddened by deep abrasions and bites. Her clothing and her hair in such a total mess, and look like they're almost torn. Her eye's stared into such lifelessness and void as that of a vegetable, "Sukutte kudasai.aoshi- san..sukuu.." she murmured, mustering all her strength as she reaches out recognizing her beloved adoptive father, like an angel garbed in his long white coat, knowing now she is safe into his arms..She finally collapsed.  
  
"MISAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
He screamed, never in his life would he expect such kind of undesirable act to happen. He caught Misao in his arms, broken and weak like a dying twig. He quickly carried her back into the dojo before anyone would notice what happened. No one is supposed to know what the terror he has seen, not even Okina. The old man has gone for a short trip few days ago, and it will be a total tragedy to see his little angel like this. As he laid her down, Aoshi looked at his hands and noticed a smatter of blood.and it came from between Misao's legs that spread to the small of her back to her lower legs.  
  
Blood.  
  
With his hand's trembling, and he looked down his coat.there is more blood all over it. He cried and threw the coat away and hurriedly washed down his hands. It's not the thought of blood that scared him for he is so used in seeing it in numerous battles; it's the thought WHERE it came from. He pushed the thought away, on what possibly happened. "I could have been there, to save her." he gasped, the numerous instances he fully trusted leaving Misao on her own happens to be a wrong choice right now. "Who did this? WHO DID THIS?"  
  
He quickly gathered some blankets, a basin full of water and some towels..not letting one of the single souls know what is going on, for if they knew they will all go and panic. He is in capable of control still, even if what stands before him is the vilest act ever done to a loved one. He sponged her with the warm water, trying to clean her up and re-vitalized her senses. As he proceeds to try changing her torn clothes, she awakened shrieking and shaking, her fists pounding to his grasp as he quickly took hold on her and quickly wrapped her tight. She then realized that the nightmarish event is over, and what stood before her holding her arms is a very grief-stricken Aoshi. "Daijoubou, everything is going to be okay. I'm here now." He hushed cradling her lightly within his arms, then does she slowly eased down and broke into spontaneous sobs. His blue eyes are filled with strange light, "whoever done this you, he will pay."  
  
Misao tried to speak, but all she could croak is "Akuma" meaning "devil". Aoshi does not want her to say no more, and handed her a glass of water.  
  
"You will need a lot of rest, Misao. You don't have to talk.if you don't feel like doing so."  
  
She shook her head, "n-no, I want to talk." she whispered hoarsely, her mouth still hurting. "Aoshi-san.the one who did this to me.that Akuma." she shuddered, her voice breaking again.  
  
"Don't force yourself."  
  
"He KNEW you, Aoshi-san!" she cried, "He knows my name and he knows you!"  
  
"N-Nani?!" he stuttered, could it be? It can't.  
  
"I recalled." Misao sobbed, "He said..you didn't give him a chance! He told me that nothing you could do would change or bring back what was lost!"  
  
Instead of replying, he stared at her. his face have grew pale and yet it remains expressionless. What have I done, I shouldn't have let him go, he said to himself.those words.is the exact words he told Soujiro before he threaten him to leave. If he hasn't said it, this couldn't have occurred. He doesn't know he is capable of doing this.  
  
"Aoshi-san!!! You knew who could do this to me?! Tell me, please!! "she begged, gripping tightly at his arms. Her eyes are pleading for mercy, and asking to be avenged. Misao almost forgot that she is still clenching tightly to the piece of cloth from her assailant. It's the only damning evidence she got, ".and he wears this!! I tore it off his arm."  
  
It exactly matched the clothing that Soujiro was wearing a day ago.  
  
"Misao, listen to me." Aoshi sighed heavily, holding her firmly in both arms and looking straight to her eyes.  
  
"From now on, forget everything that happened this night."  
  
"A-Aoshi-san?!"  
  
"Nothing happened tonight, Misao. You are NOT to tell anyone else. Do I make myself clear?" his tone then having reverted to its old authoratative coldness. He is hiding something, some secret.  
  
"You wouldn't let him go for what he had just done to me, Aoshi-san!! Would you?!"  
  
"Gomen."  
  
"G-Gomen?! Is that it.why?!"  
  
Aoshi faced away, he didn't reply back.  
  
"I HATE YOU!!!!" she screamed, slapping him across the face and then ran away with her body still weak and aching sore. She spent the rest of the night at the bathroom, washing and scrubbing every pore of her body where the assailant have laid mark on his claim, each kiss each forceful grip that dug to her skin. The part between her legs still hurt that when she tried to wash it she winced at the pain. Turning the water loud enough, it is where she drowned her agony and masking her cries. Why wouldn't Aoshi tell her? Who is he? What is with the madman that has stroke a chord of fear in him, that he let Misao swore the code of silence?  
  
  
  
That next morning came, and it was breakfast. The oniwabanshu's questioned about noises and scream last night coming from Aoshi's room, but the latter himself lay prostate at the morning table casually remarking he is treating Misao's wounds. They don't believe a word on what he just said, thinking it's just more than that.  
  
"Do you people doubt my words?" he said irritatingly, "She is hurt from a certain accident, and I tried to help her."  
  
"We are not saying that we doubt you, Master Aoshi." One of them replied, "Master Okina has trusted her in your care while he was away."  
  
"Yes, indeed." He muttered, and Okina will be inconsolable if he learns the truth. The old man can't forgive him if he knows what happened to Misao, and that he would blame for negligence and tactlessness. Tactless for not taking seriously the word from Soujiro, maybe if Okina was there he could have handled such sensitive matters calmly. Negligence, for letting Misao just goes alone early yesterday. He is a failure as a father figure, he was given a second chance to look after her and now he miserably failed. "Why can't I just do things right." he whispered in a barely audible voice for anyone in the room to hear as he took another glass of tea.  
  
Misao entered the room as silent as a ghost, and the all the oni's stare in total curiosity. She is draped in much feminine clothing right now, enough only to see her small hands and feet. There are some patches of bruises near her mouth and cheek, indicating something has indeed happened. Her face shows a certain amount of sadness with it, rather than what they expect that add even more disturbed air around the room. Misao is not the kind who will seat back and hold her feelings; she openly reveals it to everybody in such a warm outspoken way. And what sits with them now is like an unanimated doll, a doppelganger.with the real Misao seeming have gone and taken away from them.  
  
"Ohayo!" One of the female oniwabanshus greeted her, and offers a place beside them at breakfast. Misao did not return the smile. She sat at a corner farthest to Aoshi, and solemnly asked for the food to be passed.  
  
"Why Misao, it's so surprising to see you in such girl-like clothing." another one quipped, trying to engage her in a conversation, trying to lighten the young leader's mood.  
  
"I hated it." She commented, without bothering to look up. The rest of the oniwabanshu's hushed into stillness; Misao is indeed in a very gloomy unpredictable mood, which makes the meal more or less rather like a funeral. Everyone ate in tense silence, and they noticed this is even more obvious with Misao and their Master Aoshi. The latter tried to avoid eye contact at all costs, and is becoming much more absorbed in eating the food in front of her. But yet, Aoshi keep track with a straight gaze, as if anticipating that Misao might incidentally blurt out something.  
  
Even with her body discreetly covered, one of the oni's can't help but noticed the deep reddened scratches at her hands and wrists. "What's with the scratches on your hands? Did you get into a fight or something? "  
  
"Master Aoshi said you got into an accident."  
  
Misao feared that question, and she glanced up. There is an alight of concern that could be seen at faces of these members that have been her family, yet from the farthest end of the table, Aoshi is still looking straight at her.watching each word she will speak.  
  
"Yes, I got into an accident." She replied, her look straight and blank to Aoshi. "Very clumsy of me, I get a little too far in the woods and."  
  
"Tell them Misao, some nasty ruffians managed to nearly get you." He added, in such an imperative tone. Aoshi is going to make her lie, right in front of everybody. It is obvious he didn't want the news to be break to anybody, and that only he alone shall know it. Misao felt a raging bitterness within her, with the only person she dearly cared for betraying her in a moment she needed him the most.  
  
"I get into a brief skirmish with some ruffians." She mumbled about mechanically, the oni's looked on each other. Is it just them or Misao is only repeating what Aoshi is saying, as if instructing her to obey an order? But they knew better than to question Master Aoshi, they tried asking him earlier and he appeared to react in a hostile tacit way.  
  
"At least you managed to over come the obstacle, that what matters and that you arrived safe." Aoshi said, as if formally closing the matter. At the corner of his eye, she is still looking straight at him...but with a much indignant air around her. She persisted continued, "Over comes an obstacle? You don't know what I have been through!!! You don't know what happened to me out there!!" she broke, and now tears streamed copiously from her eyes as if she can't control it anymore.  
  
"M-Misao." one of the oni's gasped, aghast on what they are seeing.  
  
"You listen to me, Misao.." Aoshi stood up, taking up an intimidating ring in his voice.  
  
"No, listen to me!" she continued, "I NEARLY died just to try to reach home, and you've done nothing to help me! You betrayed me and you never even care since before when you left me, you are a failure!!! I abhor you!!! " she screeched, pulling herself away from everyone else and ran away, sending the low table and everything crashing as she marked her leave. After a few minutes having distanced her and possibly reaching the temple, everyone calmed down and looked at Aoshi. As usual his expression is barely readable, but there is hurt look in his blue sharp eyes.  
  
"Master Aoshi, what did really happen? Please tell us." One of them demanded, but he just shook his head and slowly walked away. "Master Aoshi!"  
  
What will he tell? He is a failure as a father, what happened to Misao is indirectly his own doing? He thought he knew better, yes, that Misao could fare on her own. That Soujiro Seta is not the man he thinks will be a rightful mukodono for him, that it is better that he goes off. The boy seem to have good potential in him, it is a total risk to show himself again then and there in front of Aoshi, pleading for one more chance, and he turned it down. And Misao has to pay the price. She was right, the truth is.he wasn't there when she needed him. Others would be horrified by the truth, and Okina.Master Okina.he don't want him to go another suffering because of his deed. It's for the better for the both of them to swear the oath of silence.even if Misao is going to hate him.  
  
"I-I don't know anymore." He murmured, 


	3. A silent masquerade within a puppet's st...

Part three: A silent masquerade and within a puppet's strings  
  
  
  
Nobody dared to question the arising unspoken conflict between Aoshi and Misao. It's been a few days now, and either any one of them is in verge of denial. Aoshi casually dismissed the "accident" on something that made her hysterical and it is her usual rages for him being not quite being that attentive father when the latter is growing up. Misao somehow lost her liveliness and each day she had a pained expression, as if the same similar air around Aoshi.  
  
She gradually focuses her attention instead in honing her martial arts skills rather than enjoy walking out the great outdoors like she normally do. The people at the household noted she does not have the same desire and energy within her anymore. Misao worked on her moves in a more, reckless and angry way.and she only comes out to eat. It as same as Aoshi spent his isolation meditating at the temple.and it worries each of the oniwabanshu members each day. There are too just many intriguing questions, and suspicious changes. Misao for instance, had finally ditched the feminine clothing few days later and changed to a training garb, and a long one which mostly wear for actual martial arts. She usually wear those short hakamas, for she feels comfortable moving in them.but now she bitterly requested to threw them away. Aside from the change of clothing, she defiantly.and to the shock of everyone else, chopped off her long braided hair. Everyone could remember that day, it is one of those moments where Aoshi and Misao are arguing again and she threatened him not to approach any nearer. She took one of his swords and sliced it through her locks. Aoshi then stood dumbfounded, but as always.he does not go after her.  
  
"This is too much for me to take," one of them confessed, "Something very bad have happened to Misao, and Aoshi knows it."  
  
"But they won't tell us what it is," one female oni objected, "how should we know?"  
  
"Asking them just won't help, Misao seem afraid to say something.and that is what I think is making her even more hurt and angry each day." said the wiser among the four, and they all exchange sad glances. "Whatever it is, it took our old Misao away from us.and we have to get her back."  
  
"She has to open up, but certainly.it won't be just us."  
  
"Probably a trusting comrade she could rely on." one of the noted, and clapped his hands. "Why don't we let Kenshin-san and his group take a visit? Besides, it has been sometime they have been here in Kyoto."  
  
"I can't agree less. They are like family; they might help her open up also."  
  
So the rest of the oniwabanshu's decides to take action, half of them informed Kenshin and the group to go and visit, telling them to pretend "they just happen to stop by." The rest involved bringing about the topic to Master Aoshi about bringing some few good friends, since it's lonely with just a few of them to guard the house. "That will be pleasant." Is all Aoshi could say, but nonetheless he agreed. In few days time, Kenshin conceded to the oniwabanshu's to try helping Misao out, and the rest will play along the game. There would be Kaoru, and Megumi coming by, and their playful banter is natural to keep the mood light and amusing; there is also Sanosuke and Yahiko.they would be one noisy yet happy group, but they are not prepared on what they will see.  
  
At early noon, Omasu saw a figure with tell-tale long red hair, accompanied by a small noisy group. "Kenshin-san!" he called out, and the rest of the oni's reacted in greeting the hitokiri and with the friends with him. They all look robust and eager to see Misao and all were planning to give her the friendly tease about her body or about her usual tomboyish ways. Sanosuke is the first to insist on surprising her.  
  
"She is at the back of the porch, she took a break from training." Is all what Omasu could say,  
  
"Really?! Then there's nothing wrong with her. It's better that she trained herself to be better." Sanosuke remarked, nibbling on the piece of grass in his mouth, he intended to cheer the oni's but he only saw lonesome expression on their faces. Kenshin nudged him, and shook his head as if trying to say "Not now, Sano."  
  
"She never came out of the practicing hall, only to eat and sleep." One of the oni's added. "And oh, also to bathe of course."  
  
"So what made her this withdrawn?" Kenshin insisted, and the next thing Sanosuke knows is Kenshin has done it again.interviewing the household in interrogating like questions. It will gradually bore him to death to join everyone and listen, so he resolved to go to the back porch and see it for himself.  
  
"N-Nani?! She cut her hair off?!" he can hear Kaoru gasped in disbelief, ".why would she do that?"  
  
"She said, it's her show of audacity against Aoshi. Besides that, nothing more she wants to tell us."  
  
"We are sorry to hear it. We would try the best to cheer her up."  
  
".and she never dressed like any one of us, this Misao.she's different from what we knew."  
  
  
  
Sanosuke listened well as he made his way at the back of the porch, it seemed a serious matter.and by means the description said what he will expect is a different looking Misao from now on. He took a short cut, which resulted for him to come out of the entrance of the practice hall, which in some considerable distance there would be a porch. At around the right side, he could see what seems someone dressed in long practicing clothes.the hair is cut short just about the chin, and yet unmistakably he knew it was her.  
  
"They were right, she had changed herself." He murmured, and thinks of surprising her from the back. Misao didn't know that they are planning to stop by and visit. When he tiptoed near enough, he extended his long hands to grab her around the small torso.  
  
It was greeted by a hostile reaction being scarred by past trauma, Misao's memory recalled the stranger's grasp in order to take her down and ravish her.so when Sano's grasp came suddenly about, she defensively screamed and grabbed him from behind, hauling the 6 ft guy and sending him crashing to her left direction. What she saw is a shocked reaction on a friend's face when she finally came in terms of herself.  
  
"Sanosuke!!" she called out, "G-Gomen, I don't know that."  
  
"Hey! Don't take it one me!! Take it easy, will ya?!" he snarled, obviously upset with Misao's response. "For crying out loud Misao, I'm just trying to surprise you!!" he added, but his upset tone took a change when he noticed that Misao is starting and seemingly trying to hold a cry. Now, what did he do?  
  
"Don't surprise me like that, ever again!! Ever!! " she spat, and furiously phased inside the practice hall. Intrigued by her sudden change of attitude, Sanosuke followed her inside. The old Misao don't just break and cry in front of him for nothing, and he can sense something is terribly wrong. She finally took some few deep breaths, trying to ease herself.not knowing where to start. How is she going to explain to Sanosuke her sudden violent reaction? He can't confide in him, nor can she? As long as Aoshi is not around.maybe she could tell somebody what really happened. But can she trust him?  
  
She is facing her back on him as he approached, and Sanosuke could hear what sounded like restrained weeping. "Geez, I'm sorry already.so are you alright?"  
  
She sniffed, "I'm okay.it's just a shame that.I have to do that."  
  
"Misao, you are not okay. The Misao I knew won't just cry on about anything unless it's really trouble." He said, re-assuring her. "If there is anything you need, we are always there to help you."  
  
Misao turned around, "Y-You mean, you are not alone?"  
  
"Of course, I won't be here unless Kenshin-san is with me, and so is the rest of everybody else," he said proudly, and then he noted that Misao had strange yellowish brown patches on her skin and his smile faded. Those are tell-tale signs of healing bruises, also at her arms, even how she tried hard to concealed it have the same yet bigger marks, and healing reddish welts which indicated she have healing abrasions. When she noticed that Sanosuke noticed the healing injuries, she tried to coil her arm away. But he nonetheless reached for it, and inspect closely at her arm.  
  
"Where did you get this?!" he demanded, but Misao won't look at him at the face. "Did Aoshi know abo.."  
  
"He knows about it well," she whispered, "He knows about everything.that." she glanced up at him, which disturbed Sanosuke even more. She had this helpless look in her emerald green eyes, and same time a tingle of fear that someone might be listening. "Sanosuke, swear that you'll listen to me.you must help..." she whispered, pleading as she gripped firmly to his arms.  
  
".help me find him."  
  
"What?" he whispered, and he noticed that Misao's face took a paler look.she is watching from behind her, as it seemed a clothed figure noticed that they are in the hall. "Who Misao? Find who? I'm not getting it."  
  
The door behind her open, and her blood ran cold at the sight of the white cloth in sight. "I don't have time to explain, Sanosuke! Aoshi is here already." and indeed she was right, Sanosuke never saw Misao so frightened before, as Aoshi revealed himself to the entrance of the hall.she starts trembling as he approaches. Misao gave Sanosuke one desperate look, "H-help me find him, who.."  
  
" Here you are Misao, I see you have seen Sanosuke," Aoshi tried to fake a casual charm, but he is actually there for he noticed that his adoptive daughter is just about to going to tell something and he won't let it happen. He approached nearer, "Everyone is waiting for you at the guest room, and Kenshin is also with them."  
  
"Sano.t-tasukete kudasai," she pleaded, her time is running out. She froze as she felt Aoshi's hand placed at her shoulder. Sanosuke looked at Aoshi, then at Misao. His face torn for the compassion of a tormented friend, but he was deeply bothered by Misao's reaction with Aoshi. Why is she suddenly fearful of him?  
  
"Misao, come with me." He said curtly, stroking her by the head. Misao repulsed the notion, and she tried to avoid his touch. Aoshi then glanced up at Sanosuke, and silently nodded, "My apologies, Misao is under medication for her injuries. She hasn't been at herself lately." Sanosuke noticed that Aoshi lightly hold Misao on both shoulders, but the latter felt like she was going to be crushed by the grip. "She will listen to me, for it's for her own good.right, Misao?" he tried to put a tenderness in his voice, but Sanosuke sensed that it is like he is telling an order. Aoshi locked his silent gaze on Misao, as if trying to convince her to say yes.  
  
"N-No!" she snapped, to his surprise. Misao turned to Sanosuke, "Sanosuke!! Find who did this to me.onegai! "  
  
Sanosuke was about to ask, who.or what happened. Who did what? What did this person have done to her? Who is this person? But Aoshi countered it quick, he grabbed Misao's arm and tried to drag her away from the room, "For your own good, Misao.don't do this to me!" he commanded, but Misao is very stubborn in not wanting to go. Sanosuke can't take it anymore that he quickly rushed to her rescue, but Aoshi halted him with his sharp icy gaze.  
  
"Look what have you done." he hissed,  
  
"I've done nothing!" Sanosuke protested, why.he could hit Aoshi right now, but he knows well how deadly Aoshi is even if he was reformed already. He is restraining Misao to tell some dark secret, and he knows it. "What's wrong with you Aoshi? Let Misao speak for herself!"  
  
Aoshi didn't return his look, he didn't want to challenge this rough youth into a debate. He gave Misao one forceful shove, until she stumbled out of the room. She tried to reach back at Sanosuke, but Aoshi held her tight and his mouth forming the soundless "No."  
  
"Sanosuke, if you know what's better for you.I recommend that you and the rest don't meddle with our problems. I'm going to deal with this on my own, you hear me?" he finally spoke, and then as if formally closing the conversation, closed the door.  
  
"Kenshin must know about this," Sanosuke swore tersely. "He must know before it's too late for her."  
  
  
  
Misao pretend to show to everyone that nothing is wrong with her, placing a façade to mask her anguish and pain inside. She tried to put out a bright smile when she greeted Kenshin; she teased Kaoru and then flares at Megumi's mild jokes. They were all a bit surprised how Misao looked right now, a far cry from before. The oniwabanshu's told them that she was very depressed and sober these past few days, but she was there entertaining everybody as if nothing happened. For her sake, the oniwabanshu's tried to act happy as well.even though they know that she is doing this because Aoshi would want her to do so. He was there, sitting at a far corner in the room with Kenshin, casually observing them. They took pity on her, for she is now but a moving puppet. Maybe Aoshi have guessed their plan, in why they invite the whole group over. Instead of meditating by the temple, he closely guarded watched over Misao, whether she goes. Kenshin have also a slight hint that something must be going on. Even if everyone tried to be happy, it's unavoidable when you look at there eyes.what he see is sadness. Kaoru, Megumi and Yahiko didn't notice this uneasy air around them. But where is Sano?  
  
"Have anyone seen Sano? "He asked,  
  
"Oh, He is at the back of the porch," Misao paused.she was to say something more, but she halted when her eyes meet with Aoshi. Kenshin quickly noticed it, "Is there anything wrong Misao?"  
  
"Oh No, nothing is wrong!!" she casually dismissed, "I just think I forgot something, so anyone wants to eat right now?"  
  
"It depends if you are the one who cooked it!" Yahiko snorted, "I don't want to be down by food poisoning!"  
  
Misao and Yahiko casually bantered, its natural for them to do so. But when Kenshin noticed, that for the first time, Misao seem to be faking something.she is avoiding a conversation with him if he tried to ask if there is anything wrong. She gingerly got up, and asks Kaoru to help her get some of the dishes so they could eat.  
  
"She is strong; she managed to recover from it." Aoshi commented, as if answering the hitokiri's thoughts. "It is a slight accident, she nearly gets beat up by some ruffians.but she has come in terms with that eventually."  
  
Misao entered back the room along with Kaoru, carrying the plateful of dishes. Yahiko took a deep inhale and complimented that he never smell anything so wonderful, with Megumi side-commenting that probably Misao didn't cook it. They are all in a seemingly euphoric mood right now and Aoshi didn't want to interrupt it.  
  
"Misao could counter a group of ruffians," kenshin commented.  
  
"They are the more professional type. Her attempts have been futile." Aoshi countered defensively, "but she managed to come home safely, beaten up here and there.but she survived."  
  
Kenshin shook his head, "Are you sure that is what happened Aoshi?"  
  
His statement instantly was suddenly disrupted by a tumulus crash of dishes from behind; Misao have dropped the dishes to the floor. "Are you alright, Misao?" Kaoru gasped,  
  
"Y-Yes, I'm alright.it just slipped."  
  
"Well then, let me help you clean it."  
  
"Awwww!!! I hate to see a good food go to waste!!" Yahiko whined, "If Sanosuke have been right now, he would even eat it!" Misao shook her head to Kaoru's offer of help and decided to clean the mess herself. Now it confirmed Kenshin's suspicions, for his guess is that it's not rather a pure coincidence that Misao "tripped" and dropped the dishes. She steals a couple of quick glances to Aoshi, who has straight unwavering gaze in front of her.  
  
"I'm sure of what happened. She told me." He finally spoke,  
  
After the late lunch was finished, Kaoru and Megumi insisted to do some chatting.unmindful of Aoshi's looming presence. Kenshin told them he and Yahiko will take a short stroll at the yard, wondering where Sanosuke have gone. It's not like him to miss lunch. Aoshi however told them to take one of the oni's will accompany them, even if they refused. He have to keep in track, that no one.no one will learn what really happened to Misao.  
  
"Why do you have to go with us?" Yahiko interjected, "it's not that we are going to be lost or anything."  
  
"Master Aoshi orders me to do so," the female oni replied, "I have to follow what he says,"  
  
"So what's the big deal about it? Is he paranoid or anything?" Yahiko's boyish curiosity is starting to sound a little tactless, that Kenshin has to hush him. He asked on why Aoshi is acting a little strange lately, and when they reached a little far from the dojo. the oni member doesn't know where to start.  
  
"You have to help Misao, Kenshin-san! It's hurting as more and more that they are not talking to each other!!" she pleaded, "They won't tell us what it is, and we think that YOU are only way to resolve this matter!"  
  
"For one, Misao dressed so strangely.not to mention she cut her hair." Kenshin observed, "I do sense a tension between them and Aoshi, as if he is not letting her out of his sight."  
  
"Kenshin-san, he is hiding something.something about Misao, that's why he never let Misao, speaks with us, he."  
  
"She seems perfectly normal to me." Yahiko quipped, then crinkling his nose. "Well, except the part she crashed the dishes."  
  
"She is deathly afraid of Aoshi, for some particular reason." Kenshin spoke, "Yahiko, when I calmly asked Aoshi to tell me what really happened.it is not a coincidence that Misao crashed her dishes..."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I saw it in their eyes." He replied, ".she is looking at Aoshi.when it happened and he, looking at her. I can see she fears something.and despite that we see her as her usual self this day, I think she is only acting like that because Aoshi never left her side."  
  
"That's what I'm trying to tell." The oni said, "They are hiding something from us, we know Misao needed someone to tell whatever it is.but he just won't let her."  
  
"She is desperate Kenshin, we need to help her." comes out a sudden serious concerned voice, out from nowhere, Sanosuke jumped off the tree branch on where the tree where the three where talking. He is taking a nap above the tree, and happens to listen at the conversation.  
  
"What are you doing up there?! You missed lunch already!!" Yahiko exclaimed,  
  
"I got sleepy, and took a nap you little squirt!" But Yahiko and Kenshin won't believe him, it's an understatement for Sanosuke to miss lunch for it's the sole purpose why he joined them to Edo at the first place. "Alright, alright! I didn't just sleep up there!!!" he cautiously then looked around, "Is Aoshi with anyone of you?"  
  
"No, he is staying in the residence with the rest." Kenshin said with an inquiring look, "Why? Are you hiding from him?"  
  
Sanosuke can see Yahiko grin ear to ear, "I'm NOT hiding from him!! I'm trying to avoid him!" he explained, "I managed to try to talk to Misao, but he came and threatens me not to try to talk to her again."  
  
"You get to talk with Misao, alone?" The oni gasped,  
  
"Yeah, almost." he muttered, then looking at Kenshin. "You are right Kenshin; Misao is not what she seemed right now. When I tried to talk to her she was." there is an aching expression in Sanosuke's face, "...very much in a pitiful state, she is trembling and shaking..begging for me to help her. I swore she is starting to cry by then."  
  
"It is true," the oni nodded, ".she is trying to tell something, but Aoshi would always appear shortly to stop her. When he comes approaching, she freezes.and she starts to tremble. As far as we know, Master Aoshi did not do anything physical to her but."  
  
"She told me, to help her find him on who did it to her." Sanosuke added, "Whoever that "him" is.and whatever he "did".."  
  
"You didn't get to ask her completely?" Kenshin asked,  
  
"No." Sanosuke said, "I was about to, but Aoshi appeared from behind her.and casually trying to dismiss the talk. But I swear, she wants to be away from him, she is trying to pry off his grasp.she wants to tell me something, and she told me that he knows."  
  
"Knows what?"  
  
Sano's face constricted, as if knowing the moment of conclusion, "I got it.Misao has those strange injuries in her arms, she is asking me to find who did it to her.and that Aoshi knows who did it. and didn't want to be told who."  
  
"..and he doesn't want us to know." Kenshin added seriously, "but why would she be so depressed in trying to find the one who beat her up? Aoshi said it's done by a rough band of ruffians, and Misao will never give in to rogues even if she got beat up badly. She has dignity."  
  
"I think it's not only dignity that was lost," Sanosuke assumed, his voice sounding quite dark, unusually so. Kenshin and Yahiko traded disturbed looks to Sanosuke's change of mood. "I'm determined to find out why.."  
  
  
  
***Translations: "Tasukete kudasai" = "please help me; "Onegai" = "please" 


	4. One must face the pain

Part four: One must face the pain  
  
  
  
Whatever plan Sanosuke have in mind, they couldn't tell. As they went back to dojo, they pretend nothing have happened, to dispel any suspicions from Aoshi. The group has planned to have a few day stay at the household, and the tall lanky youth is determined to find out that the secret Aoshi is hiding. That's the reason they were there the first place, to try helping Misao out. But they can't help her with Aoshi suspiciously re-appearing now and then, trying to seal whatever possible means that Kenshin and the group have in mind. But since it is only Sanosuke to whom she have last confided, and the latter felt it is his responsibility to find it out.  
  
"I think it's not only dignity she has lost." he recalled saying it, whatever made him say that. He have a healthy suspicion, if one has to think like a woman.what is the one thing that can be taken to her so bad that it would leave her so afraid, for it can never be regained.even how strong she is. He don't want to confirm it with Kenshin yet,  
  
"Help me find who did this to me.onegai!!!"  
  
Misao wouldn't plead to be avenged just because someone beaten her up, something ELSE was done to her. In a few previous days, he himself is so absorbed in trying to find a moment to speak to her alone, but as usual he is cornered by Aoshi's presence. Later that day, he nearly forgot to eat his food just because he is into deep thoughts, that Yahiko ate all of it. None of the men tried to tell about Sanosuke's revelation; they don't want to worry the whole group any further.  
  
Later that night, he tried to get much close as she went to the kitchen, she followed her there.excusing himself to use the bathroom. He heard of clatter of noises.  
  
Misao have cut herself badly in both wrists.  
  
It became transparent to him on what she is doing, and tried to wring the bloodied knife off her grip. "This is not the solution, are you crazy?!" he hissed, "You are trying to kill yourself!"  
  
To his surprise, there is a sharp determined look in her green eyes, "There is no other way! I can't live with a lie anymore!"  
  
Aoshi. He is trying to make her lie, and making her act like nothing happened in front of everybody. But she managed to almost confess what really happened to him, and now she is desperate with such small hope left that the only resolution is to kill herself.  
  
"I believed that what happened is not an accident that Aoshi and you.forced to tell to everybody."  
  
"Then what did you think really happened?" she demanded, in a low whisper.so that no one could hear them. She tried to bind her wrists, to stop them from bleeding. And both are kneeling down the counter, so that no one could see them talk.  
  
Sanosuke didn't immediately replied, he is looking straight at her to the eye in a very serious manner. "Who's the bastard who did it to you?"  
  
Misao's facial expression flinched, he didn't bring the conclusion openly but he was right. Sanosuke must be sharper now with his observations. "I-I don't know, I didn't get to see him. Sano, it was very dark." She whispered, shuddering as she recalled the night.  
  
"So why is Aoshi not doing ANYTHING?" he muttered, "he knows what happened, right?"  
  
"HE knows who did it to me."  
  
"WHAT!!" he nearly shouted, that Misao have to hush him down. "Then why.."  
  
"I-I don't know why myself, but something about it makes him very afraid.he made me swore just to forget the whole incident.."  
  
"Why, that son of a bitch!" Sanosuke can't hold himself any longer, he can feel his blood boil and that his jaw clenched so tight that his voice sounded strangled rather than a low whisper. "Misao, I promise to help you on this.but do you have any clue that might have done to you? Any possible enemy that you know?"  
  
Her face lighted up a little, and she slowly crept up. "I remember something, just stay down." Misao slipped outside in a few minutes, and coming back she showed Sanosuke a piece of a torn sleeve, "When he was attacking me, I managed to rip this only evidence from him." Sanosuke took it into a brighter source of light, and noticed it was light bluish sleeve from a top. It was stained by the smell and dirt of the earth. "Many men wore this kind of sleeves, Misao."  
  
"We can find anyone who has the match, anyone with a torn sleeve that might."  
  
"What if he knew better and thrown it away?"  
  
Sanosuke shouldn't have said that, Misao became visibly upset and stood from behind the counter and resume her chores. But it was the truth, finding the one who owned the kimono with that color is impossible and what more finding the torn one? The attacker would be wise to rid of any evidence.  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry.but it is a strong possibility." He apologized; he is still bent underneath the counter so that no one could see him, especially Aoshi. "Misao, is there anything you recall? Any form of identity? It must be painful.but you have to remember."  
  
She recalled the slinging sound, "Sword,"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said he carries a sword," she said without looking up, "I heard a sound he was carrying something in his left, it is only one sword and it was sheathed."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
She touched a part of her bruised cheek, and the flood of memory made her squirm. "Yes, I'm sure." She murmured, "He used it to knock me down unconscious."  
  
Their short discreet talk lead Sanosuke to an investigation. First, the assailant is someone Aoshi knew, but Misao never heard of. Then this piece of torn evidence came from a light blue kimono, and that he carried one sword. His conclusion is that the attacker must be an enemy of Aoshi who happened to bear a deep grudge that he took it over Misao. He couldn't rack his mind for there are numerous possibilities.  
  
He wants to talk about it further, and told Misao to meet him outside the yard on where he hid from last time. They couldn't be seen by Aoshi above the trees, and they sat there at the long lonely night, trying to figure out who the attacker is and what is that he wants. Misao cried that the attacker knew well both of them, for it mentioned her name before he pawned on her. That it sarcastically implied that Aoshi didn't give him a chance and "nothing would change or bring back what is lost." He sounded young, probably in his 20's, but the way he spoke and attacked her, she can tell that the mad man is a cold blooded murderer.  
  
"Soujiro." Sanosuke blurted out, as he sat up from the fat branch.  
  
"What do you mean about a Soujiro?" she asked,  
  
"Soujiro Seta." Sanosuke shrugged, "I don't know Misao, but this is baffling. Soujiro is the closest thing I could come up with your description." He continued, ".he is around in his 20's he is older than me but he sounded and look very young. I remember he wears a blue kimono, and he carries one sword. He knows of Aoshi, and it was he who convinced him joining Shi-shi-o sometime ago."  
  
Misao look doubtful, ".but he never seen me yet."  
  
"Right. He knows about you, but you have never seen each other." Adding, "BUT.I doubt he would be starting trouble now. Kenshin didn't just let him go for nothing; the guy is in process of reforming now." Misao looked at him, and Sano gave her a stare, "Hello? I WAS there, so I know he positively redempted when Kenshin gave him a second chance."  
  
"I supposed you are right, he will have no use of .." Her voice trailed of, as if suddenly recalling something. She recalled the young ronin she met at the inn around last week. He teased him for being so good looking, and he gallantly defended her from a bunch of low lives with his ONE sword. He moved in such grace like that of a cat, like of a seasoned veteran.  
  
"Sano! Is this Soujiro has indigo eyes?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Does he have the warm smile plastered on his face? And does he wear something.like protector in his arms?"  
  
"Of course, he is the only loon that keeps a smile for all season, and he wore those protectors for.." He gaped, looking at Misao with full shock. "DON'T tell me you already met him!"  
  
Misao sighed, with a dreamy look in her eyes that it made Sanosuke sit there like petrified stone. "I met him by accident when he took a stop here in Kyoto," she said dreamily, "He seemed rather a change man, and he didn't want to tell his name after he rescued me from the usual day brawl."  
  
"Maybe it's because he learned you are Aoshi's DAUGHTER."  
  
"He didn't know who I was," she said. "He just said he is a ronin in a verge of retiring."  
  
Sanosuke tried to breakdown the information to his brain. There is a strong possibility that Soujiro might be the prime suspect, after all he and Misao met. The indication of the assailant is similar to his, but Misao said that Soujiro didn't know her name. He might have asked information from someone to know her, but when he saw Misao smiled for the first time that whole week.he could tell that the Soujiro she is telling about is a far cry from the merciless attacker they are talking.  
  
"Are you sure Misao, don't you think he is.."  
  
"His arms," she cut off. "Soujiro's arms are covered well and tight.the one who attacked me has bared arms."  
  
"Bared arms.."  
  
"When I tried to claw him and tore of his clothing." Misao shuddered, the moment she starts to recall again reverted her back to her lonesome bitter state. "I managed to claw deep into his right arm; it must have left a mark somehow."  
  
"And our chance of searching for that man is vague," he muttered, ".and our only key to that is Aoshi."  
  
"Yes, Aoshi." She mumbled, she hated Aoshi now.and it grew each and more each day. Why wouldn't he let her know? What is it that held him back?  
  
"Misao, what happened to you must be avenged," Sanosuke replied, jumping off the tree. It is very late at night and probably people the household must be looking for them. He helped her out the tree, "The only way for you is to have to confront Aoshi, make him regret it."  
  
"Are you telling blackmail?" "It is the best thing you could do in a desperate situation," Sanosuke said. "Have any plan in mind?"  
  
A plan in mind,  
  
Misao wait for the household to be asleep. Even with Sanosuke's concern, he still got tired that he sleeps like the dead after chewing down a late night dinner. Aoshi however, sleeps less than the rest of them.and she makes sure he will. She made her steps heard as she crept to her room, and dig on her cabinet to find a small chest, in it she kept the torn clothes that Aoshi have found her in. He was to burn them away, but she hid them afterwards when she learns that he betrayed her of his trust. She can feel the light glide of his shadow, waking from his shallow sleep in his green robe to follow her, and she pretended not to notice it. She went to the kitchen, and grabbed a couple of knives and daggers she could find, and then some old rags. She quickly took a short cut by the outskirts of the nearby woods. This time, Aoshi took a longer route to follow her, and it gives her enough time what she has planned in mind.  
  
"I have to let you see Aoshi-san, see what the madman has done to me. "She swore, then choosing a damp ground with crowded bushes and twigs, with a little much open for at least four people to walk on. She took off her night robe and put on the torn clothing she was found wearing, that has the smell of blood and washed earth in them and almost revealing her nakedness. She bounded her fists with the rags and planted the knives firmly on the ground,  
  
She is going to re-enact the way, how the mysterious assailant had ravished her. And she is going to force Aoshi to see it.  
  
  
  
Did she escape? No he didn't think so. Aoshi cursed on leaving the residence in his sleeping clothes on, but he has to follow Misao. She mysteriously took some few items, and ran to the woods. She wouldn't be running away since most of her clothes are still in her room, and what was she doing to the kitchen? He saw her took a couple of knives. Carrying a torch, he went and follows her into the woods.  
  
His thought races on what she is up to, is she going to avenge herself? No, she even didn't have to see her assailant. And nor is she going to run for help, Kenshin and the group are in fact all in the residence and fast asleep. As if the answer to his question, he heard some sound behind him.as if someone echoing his name.  
  
He turned around and lifted his torch to see a clearer view on his path, and what he saw nearly made him drop it on shock and horror. A small cry escaped to his gaunt mouth, and there laid Misao, and she has been banded on the ground with the knives that she got, her fists bounded to it by the rags and she is wearing those clothes that he thought he threw away. He can barely look at her.  
  
"Look at me!!!" she cried, "Look at me, Aoshi-san!!" she said out loud, enough for even the little animals sleeping in the woods to be awaken.  
  
"Yameru, Misao!!.you don't know what you are doing!!" he hissed, he wants to approach her, to unbind her wrists.  
  
"No!! You stand back!!" she spat, "don't get any nearer to me!!"  
  
"You're crazy! Stop that before someone sees you!! " he muttered, facing her but he can't look at her eyes.  
  
"I don't care if they see me! They should know." she said angrily, "and YOU should know!! This is what was done to me, Aoshi!! Isn't enough that I suffer?! "  
  
"In the end we both suffer, Misao." he took a deep breath and approached her, trying to untie her from where she lay.  
  
"Why? Why won't you tell who did this to me? What are you afraid of?! Isn't it enough I paid the price?!" she vent out all of her frustration, what she truly feel. Even if the words are stinging, she has to make her Aoshi-san break. She does not care of the truth anymore, right now she wanted revenge. She tried to wring off her grasp as Aoshi tried to set her free, he is working on her silently, as if not hearing what she is talking about.  
  
"I don't want to be a failure yet again, as your guardian."  
  
He supposedly wants to say, "As your father."  
  
"You can never be my guardian, never like Okina!"  
  
"Just change back to your clothes, and let's leave this place.now." He stretched out his hand, but Misao looked at it with disbelief. She is stubborn and obviously this is not what she planned to turn out, she did not stand up. Seeing he could do nothing about it, Aoshi stood up and leave.  
  
"You already failed me!!" she cried, "The least you could do is telling me.."  
  
"I can't. I'm sorry." He said sadly, and gathered his torch. If he did say the truth, she won't even believe him. Nearly a week ago, Misao is bright and happy telling about the young ronin she met at one of the town's inn that saved her life. He did not know how on earth he would explain that this same ronin snapped and nearly destroyed her. Aside from worrying over Master Okina's and the other people's reaction, his being a neglectful guardian.the above mentioned reason is the gravest of all.  
  
He hastily walked outside the woods, not wanting to hear Misao's weeping as he left her there. With him, he carries the only piece of evidence Misao has: the torn sleeve.  
  
"I'm going to burn it, she must forget everything."  
  
  
  
Morning eventually arrived, and no sign of Aoshi. Everyone must have thought that he went to the temple early, which seems to be his routine these days. Misao however was found sleeping by the porch, carrying a wrapped bundle with her, and with an obvious upset expression on her face. When they ask what is in it, she excused herself trying to run away.and that Aoshi caught her and brought her home. But only Sanosuke knows it is something else, he kept Misao's secret safe with him.  
  
Now with Aoshi in his morning routine, he could hang out with her more easily. Yahiko is already teasing him from it, and Megumi commented (with matching laugh and fox ears) that they made a good couple. He countered them by snapping that he is only trying help her as a friend, and that they mind their own business.  
  
"Really, tell me.what is in that bundle?" He inquired, as he followed her by behind the dojo where no one could see them. "I'm sure it's not dirty clothes."  
  
"Very dirty clothes," she muttered, opening the bundle and throwing the contents at the small pile of dry leaves and ashes. She set aside the knives which she "borrowed" at the kitchen, so Sanosuke won't wonder what the heck she is doing that night. Sanosuke gaped, " Those are your old clothes.you are not wearing those kind anymore." his eye stared at the grey- white short ninja like getup, savagely torn in almost all parts and soiled all over.some are patches of dried crusted blood. ".it must have been absolutely terrible, terrible." he whispered, shaking his head.  
  
"Every time I see my old clothes, it just reminded me of that night.that's why I don't want to see it again." She spoke, throwing a match to light the pile of leaves and burning the whole thing in the process. "What happened to me, changed me forever."  
  
"So why did you kept that.mess all along?"  
  
"I have to show it to Aoshi," she said. "But it's useless.he never listen...even when I confronted him last night. "  
  
"So what did you do last night?"  
  
" I believe you don't want to know."  
  
Their conversation is abruptly off when they heard an earsplitting scream from the eastern part of the residence, it is coming from Megumi. She have seen something so horrible, that she have fallen down the ground, dropping the baskets of goods she is carrying.  
  
"Megumi!!" Kenshin said out loud, the rest of the group rushed to her aid. She has stumbled across the nearing end of the woods. When they reached her, trying to ask what happened.she is ghastly white and is staring and pointing at a certain direction, for she can't manage to speak due to shock.  
  
"What is it now, Megumi?" Sanosuke exclaimed, ".see a fox coming out to the woods?"  
  
She shook her head, and her mouth forming a soundless phrase, Kaoru have turned around to see what Megumi is pointing. She saw what seems to be a figure hanging by the tree.when she took a closer look at the figure, she also screamed.  
  
"It couldn't be him!! No!!" she shrieked, turning around and burrowed her face to the arms of the red haired hitokiri. Kenshin looked up, and his face fainted its color.  
  
"N-No, it can't be!!"  
  
The figure is wearing a green robe, and its one lifeless hand holding a piece of torn pale blue cloth.  
  
Misao fainted on the immediate sight of recognition, and Sanosuke wasn't able to contain his own shock.  
  
"Aoshi !!!" 


	5. Dwindling Hope

Part five: Dwindling hope  
  
  
  
It took for awhile before the whole group calmed themselves, not knowing how to break the news to the members of the household. Why would Aoshi commit suicide? It's not like him to just give up on problems. The women are in full shock, that Kenshin has to escort them back to the dojo before they too, will collapse. Yahiko, who stumbled back at the sight, has to be dragged off the ground before he regained his senses. They have to leave Sanosuke momentarily.  
  
"I'm going to take Misao home, you stay here." carrying Misao to his arms, Kenshin told Sanosuke not to leave his post while he'll break the saddening news to the dojo. He told him to take down the corpse, before anyone else sees it.  
  
"H-Hey!! You can't leave me alone with HIM."  
  
"Okay," Kenshin sighed, eyeing the dumbfounded Yahiko. "You stay with Sano here, while I bring everyone home." Still in sudden shock, Yahiko finds himself nodding and saying yes.  
  
When the small group has moved to a considerable distance, Sanosuke and Yahiko looked on each other.  
  
"You go first," Sanosuke said,  
  
"No, YOU go first!" Yahiko said out loud, "You are the taller one!"  
  
Sanosuke shrugged, and uneasily advanced at the tree, he can't believe he is seeing this himself. He climbed up, and starts working on cutting off the rope.  
  
"A-Are you sure that is Aoshi?" Yahiko stammered, he can't believe what he is seeing.the former oniwabanshu leader now dead, hanged by the tree. "What is in his hand?"  
  
"A piece of evidence, it's only Misao's link to the one who assaulted her."  
  
"Assaulted her? I thought she fought off a small band of rogues?"  
  
"I shouldn't have said that." Sanosuke mumbled, "It's a long story Yahiko," and he finally managed to slice the last string off the rope, resulting a sickening thud down below. He heard muffled screams,  
  
"G-Get him off me!!"  
  
The corpse had fallen down Yahiko. When Sanosuke have climbed down the tree, Yahiko is almost as deathly white and panting heavily as he tossed Aoshi's dead body aside. "What are you?! Do you have zero coordination or something?!" He screamed, "You dropped Aoshi over me!"  
  
"Hey! That's not my fault!" he snapped, " Just help me wrap him in the bundle.that way, we wouldn't get to see his face." with mortified looks at their faces, the best the both could do is try to kick him to face the ground, without exactly looking at the corpse. "N-Now, you go back and get a really BIG blanket."  
  
Yahiko quickly complied and ran off like his behind is on fire, "AND make sure you COME BACK!!!"  
  
Sanosuke starts to wonder what Misao did last night that results to this tragedy. He did some thinking, Misao and Aoshi haven't been talking for almost a week.she seemingly outdone herself, and she even cut her own hair. And if Aoshi got really depressed, he should have done it a week ago. Something tells him that there is foul play.  
  
He noticed that behind the dead Aoshi; laid a folded paper tucked by the belt. He opened it, and judging by its contents.it's a suicide note. It goes:  
  
"I can never forgive myself to what have befallen Misao. I have failed once, and I failed again. There is nothing I could do to bring back what she has lost, and even if I tell the truth she'll hate me more. It's better that I'm dead, for I can never fulfill the responsibility as her guardian."  
  
His name is signed below, but it seems not to make sense at all.the statement seemed to be vague and hollow. He is not just going to kill himself for that reason. And why would he tuck the letter behind his back? He looked back at the corpse, its face flat at damp rough earth.  
  
"Well Aoshi, I think this is pretty stupid on what you did." he said grimly, leaning over. " You are the only key to who really attacked Misao.and here you are.dead!"  
  
Wait a minute, what is on the ground? Dried blood.Sanosuke stared in horror, since the dried blood had seeped from Aoshi's face. Why would he bleeding when he died of suffocation and strangulation? He poked the corpse around, and restrained the urge to puke upon seeing Aoshi's face. The dried blood has seeped from his eyes, nose and mouth.not to mention from his ears. Now totally petrified, Sanosuke kicked the corpse again flat down. "I think it's better to have him face down..."  
  
Then something hit him, and he extended a pinkie and scraped the blood. It is very flaky and dry. That means, he is ALREADY dead before he "hanged" himself by the tree. He felt Aoshi's body and was surprised that the rigor mortis has set in. Misao told him earlier that Aoshi left early last night back to the dojo when her "plan" failed. They found the corpse early morning, and it will take several hours before rigor mortis will actually take place. A person wouldn't bleed all over the face, even when he hanged himself.THERE must be a second person involved. He then recalled one of those few conversations Okina and Kenshin have when they do happen to pass by Edo.  
  
**********  
  
"They call kiss of the dragon.it is one deadly move, taking only one needle to knock a person down"  
  
".Violently?"  
  
Okina curtly nodded. "To the victim, very much indeed." He sipped his tea, and proceeds to converse with Kenshin. "We rarely use it to an enemy, for it's a slow and painful way to die. But it is a sure guarantee .that if you are fast you can take down an enemy even how much stronger or seasoned he is."  
  
"Tell me about it."  
  
"It hits the nervous system, causing the body to paralyze all the muscles, and also the lungs so that you'll suffocate. Your veins will constrict with such pressure that it will burst out. not only to cause internal bleeding. but the blood to seep from your eyes, mouth, ears and nose. You are going to bleed and suffocate to death."  
  
**********  
  
"Shit." Sanosuke muttered,  
  
He quickly tried to pry off the tight noose wrapped at Aoshi's neck. But it's wringed so tight, and when he cuts it off there is deep abrasions all over that it made his neck looks so swollen and very raw. So raw, that he swore some of the skin had came off. "He must have a needle prick behind his neck,"  
  
But he can't see it. It is deeply eradicated by the rough abrasions. Maybe it is some sort of cover up, for if one hangs itself.it wouldn't leave such deep marks.  
  
UNLESS someone else forcefully did it to him.  
  
His deep thoughts where cut off when he heard Yahiko approaching, "Oi! Here is the blanket!" following him behind is Kenshin, and the rest of the grief- stricken Oniwabanshus. Yahiko and Sanosuke bundled up Aoshi good, before they shortly arrived.  
  
"Master." one of them whispered, "He is gone.."  
  
"It's impossible!"  
  
"Why would he kill himself?" one of them demanded, voices that are angry and upset, but their eyes are all red and wet with tears, "It's not like Master Aoshi to do this!"  
  
"He carried the secret of Misao to the grave." Kenshin mumbled silently, his head tilted down to show his sympathy. He then noticed that Sanosuke is holding something,  
  
"It's from Aoshi.it's his note before he died." Sanosuke spoke, and the red-head read it. He nodded, as if he understood that it must be the whole reason why he did it. The other oniwabanshu's took a note of the letter,  
  
"That's not the whole truth." one of them said, "He won't just take his life because he.failed."  
  
"Master Aoshi always find away to resolve his own problems."  
  
"We will never understand," Kenshin said, "for he is gone."  
  
"We want to take one last look!" one of the Oni's pleaded.  
  
"No!!" Sanosuke shouted, which seemed to sound more of a threatening scream. Kenshin looked at him with surprise, "Sano?"  
  
"Aoshi's face.its terrible.you don't want to look at it." He looked up, confronting the oniwabanshus, "He didn't commit suicide.its foul play!!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"It's the kiss of the dragon.THAT killed him," his heart start to pound fast, looking down the bundle with absolute horror written in his face. His breathing starts to sound shallow, ".that KILLED him, and whoever did it.strangled him afterwards to remove the evidence!! To make it look like suicide!!"  
  
"You are being hysterical, Sano."  
  
"I'm not being hysterical!!" He glared back at the hitokiri then pinning him behind the tree, Kenshin stumbled back; Sano's grip has tightened to his shoulders. He never saw Sanosuke's eyes with such deadly flame.and he sounds serious. "Kenshin! You got to believe me!! Someone out there killed Aoshi.he didn't want her him to tell Misao who he was!!!"  
  
"Who is "he"?" One of the male Oni asked,  
  
"He didn't want to tell Misao what?!" Yahiko called out,  
  
"Sano, we can talk about this later.now if you just calm down." Kenshin tried to ease him, after all the latter is so tall that he is starting to drown him.  
  
"It is a suicide Sano, he wrote this in his own handwriting.and it looks like no one forced him to do it." Kenshin waved the note, and the youth let him go. With that strange evidence, Sanosuke deemed that his explanations would be futile. "Now what are you telling, about something on Misao?"  
  
He took a deep breath, and slowly calmed himself down. Everyone is waiting for what he is going to say. "Last night, I was able to sneak in and talk to Misao.and my suspicions happen to be right.and I don't know with you people, but what Aoshi told everyone, is not the truth."  
  
"You mean Misao's accident?"  
  
He looked at every one of them, "Yes." And he wearily sat down on a rock, "It is not just an accident.it's a great injustice."  
  
There is a barely readable expression from all their faces, as Sanosuke narrated the whole truth. Kenshin could not believe it at first, and the onis had feared their suspicions are so correct. They want to avenge Misao for what happened, and have their mixed feelings towards Aoshi's "suicide". Everything is shrouded by questions, mystery and every possible clue is leading a dead end. For the first time Yahiko have suddenly taken a serious insight in such a sensitive matter, and suggested that Aoshi have did it for Misao's protection.so he don't want her to know the assailant is, which may have resulted to overwhelming guilt that he committed suicide. But Kenshin argued, that what have befallen Misao is utmost vile thing.and if he is in Aoshi's shoes he will avenge her even if he happen to know or HOW influential the person is. One of the oni's can't think of any idea, of WHY Aoshi trying to keep the assailant's identity secret.as if he is choosing to protect the enemy than a loved one, questioning to whom his loyalties lie. But then again, Aoshi have done it out for "both of their sake". So is it really guilt that drove him to take his life? Only a coward would do such a thing, and Aoshi by all means is no coward.  
  
"It only leaves Misao as the only credible living witness." Kenshin spoke softly, "there is a possible mark that maybe we could help her identify who did this, and why Aoshi don't want her to know." Remarkably even in such a dark and disturbing situation, Kenshin resolves to such distinct calmness and wisdom.and by means is an illuminating aura to everyone whose mind is clouded with vengeance and anger. He himself feels the same way like they do, but to get the matter settled he must keep composure, his mind working harder than ever and same with his heart.  
  
"Kenshin.she didn't know." Sanosuke grumbled, "Misao never saw the assailant, he attacked her in the dark. Her only clue is that it's done by a young ronin..wearing this." He handed the light blue clothing. "I think it's a piece of a kimono,"  
  
"Many young men wear THAT same color." Yahiko expressed his disbelief, "it's like looking for a needle in a haystack!"  
  
Kenshin lifted a reproving gaze to Yahiko, as if telling him that he got a clue. But Sanosuke knows it before he could speak, "I thought it would be him too.."  
  
"Him who?" Yahiko looked to both of them, "is there someone you know who could have done it?"  
  
"If I remember correctly from memory, it would be Soujiro." Kenshin concluded, ".but I doubt he will suddenly stir some trouble, and not apparently now. I believed he have reformed"  
  
"Soujiro? You mean Seta Soujiro.shi-shi-o's former right hand that escaped?" Yahiko gaped, as if not believing what he is hearing. He heard about the conquest in Mt. Hiei, and about the talented cold blooded henchman with such gifted speed that exhausted half of Kenshin's energy. He thought of the person as a gaunt expressionless stone of a man with fearful scars and a look so terrifying. But the way Sanosuke and Kenshin discuss about it, he is so amused and shocked the least, that they are describing that same man who happened to look nonetheless but a simply striking young lad who is like a boy next door with an amiable expression that could melt the hardest hearts of in-laws. The thought of the same smile if he kills his victims are even more mortifying, "sugoi.."  
  
"So Misao met him.." Kenshin, who is unaware of the young boy's expression, is still analyzing the situation with Sanosuke. ".and obviously knowing who she was, didn't want to reveal himself. It's natural for him to do that, and I can't find any fault to place him as a possible suspect."  
  
"But it rather seems unerring." one of the oni's suggested, "but isn't Soujiro who got himself acquainted with Aoshi before, during the jupon gatana days? He also knows of Misao,"  
  
"BUT he never saw Misao, until just about last week."  
  
"Kenshin, I need your opinion on this." One of the female oni's spoke seriously, "Soujiro is going to a process like where you have gone before, do you have any urge.even for once.that you are just to about to revert back to your old self?"  
  
"There is saying, that you can't teach an old dog new tricks." another one added,  
  
It's a sensitive question, and Sanosuke eyed Kenshin. This man has come in terms of his past and he knows it, and it was a great relief to find him nodding to them as if to say yes.  
  
"Yes I do, it's with Saitou Hajime. But in the end, I managed to control myself." He replied, yes he recalled he have to hit his head so hard that his eyes then.already a deadly feral yellow. Something did stop him, and it is the thought of his friends. Then looking at everyone else, "Are you all saying that something made Soujiro snap?"  
  
"Kenshin-san. demo .what have befallen Misao, it's so.incomprehensible and no man with the right mind will enjoy seeing a tortured life, unless he is mad himself." Yahiko concluded, he finally got over the shock on which Soujiro really was. It's also starting to slowly impress everyone else on how he speaks, maybe it's because he felt partly sorry for Misao, she seems so normally bantering and arguing with him the whole time and he failed to ignore that she is hiding all the pain and agony inside. "They were right he must have suddenly reverted to his old self."  
  
"Yahiko, the question is.what did make him snap? We don't have any evidence." speaking from experience, everyone knows Kenshin is right. They can't nail the youth as a suspect unless there is a solid reason that made him do it. As far as they know, Soujiro have no qualms of any lustful intentions the day he defended her from a bunch of rowdy drunks.it's just doing a deed one man would normally react if he sees a woman in danger, chivalry one would put it. Everything pointed to a dead end.  
  
"I think it's better not to tell the women about this," Sanosuke assumed, "We have enough troubles to deal with now."  
  
"It's just the beginning," say the other female oni, "Master Okina will be arriving shortly tomorrow noon from a short trip, we." her voice trails off, ".we don't know if he can take it."  
  
It would even drive Okina to a brink of insanity, Kenshin thought. The suicide of Aoshi under shadowy circumstances is one. Another is Misao's forceful rape that left her so emotionally scarred that she changed thoroughly, physically and emotionally. To make it worse, he didn't know which one weigh heavy for both are a total disaster.  
  
"We shall make preparations by the time he gets home," he sighed warily, "then.we will explain everything to him."  
  
Misao was so in total shock that she slept through out the evening thanks to Megumi's timely medication. Then the men decided to send Aoshi's body to get a decent burial ceremony for early morning, and are making preparations. The gloomy atmosphere descended to them all, for neither of them is talking. Kaoru felt troubled when Kenshin didn't spoke a word when he came back, only to tell not to look at the bundled corpse. They helped by preparing the better clothes and things to honor the former Oniwabanshu leader at his untimely death. She suggested reporting the incident to the authorities, but he replied sharply that they don't want to draw attention, she silently agreed. Sanosuke is mostly affected of them all, since he spent most of the night near Misao's bedside, taking pity that she have to go althrough this. He gently whispered to her remaining guardians to keep the torn piece of clothing as evidence. While watching her solemnly as she sleeps.he burned his thoughts sitting by the near table, trying to analyze the supposedly "suicide note."  
  
"It is a suicide Sano, he wrote this in his own handwriting.and it looks like no one forced him to do it."  
  
Kenshin's voice echoed to his head, but he had a nagging feeling that it is not it.  
  
He was awakened by Misao's noise. She finds herself again caught in throes of a bad dream, and every now and then he have to shake her so she'll wake up. The oni's have reportedly told him that she has been like that ever since last week, and fears for her health now that Aoshi thrown out his life in front of her very eyes.  
  
"I dreamt that Aoshi is already dead.." She mumbled, as if to weak to act hysterical already.  
  
"I'm afraid it's not a dream, Misao. He is dead." He tacitly replied, not bothering to lift up his eyes. "He took his own life, we all have seen it in front of our very eyes."  
  
Her voice sounded like a child's broken cry, "But it can't be.he is not that stupid to take his own life.Aoshi-san.he is no coward!"  
  
"He signed his own suicide note," he said, handing it to Misao. It is unmistakably Aoshi's handwriting. "There is nothing we could do now, I'm sorry."  
  
She tilted her head lowly, and mumbled she have to get some sleep. Poor Misao, she has been such an emotional wreck, that she don't know how to respond on the situation anymore. It is more than shock, she lost all her hope now and no one could blame her. The only person who holds the key to all this chaos is already dead, and she can't do anything to bring him back. She silently understood that Sanosuke is trying to help in anyway he could, but the chances are now very dim.now that Okina will go home and hear about the bad news.no.she won't let him. He will endure the pain of loss like she did, and she don't want to see anymore suffering and loss of lives because of her.  
  
She must take her own. 


	6. Lost Memories

Part six: Lost Memories  
  
  
  
"I don't remember anything."  
  
The group of ruffians let out a boisterous laugh, it's already late at night, and one would be less sane to walk alone in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. "Are you out of your wits, little boy? Do you even actually know where you are?"  
  
He knows the place is of Kyoto, and he is walking which seems to be the wilder side nearing the outskirts of the woods. How he got there, he didn't know. Everything in his memory before that is a total blank, let alone on knowing who he is.  
  
"You little fella think you're intimidating carrying a sword like that?" one of them spat, "besides, who are you anyway? You work with the government?"  
  
Each questions asked by the rogues is like a riddle on his identity. All he knows is he wakes up one day, in the rough grounds outside the forest. Without a background and identity, he founds himself pitied by a young peasant girl named Yuri, finding him wandering aimlessly at the nearby cleared farm and fainting from the dead heat of the sun. The clue to his identity is his clothes, Yuri and her mother found him in a much modern kimono and by the judge of his looks he seems to be around his late teens. They wondered why a youth like him is carrying a sword, a real one, when it is strictly prohibited by the government. He is as baffled as they were, but allowed him to keep it.for it might be a clue to who he really was. The fragile, doe eyed Yuri tells him that how a blow in one's head could rob someone of his senses, and now his memory. He repays the small family by helping them tend their small farm, and leaving his sword so often behind.he does not know much purpose of it, only to know that it is not allowed to be used so he wouldn't bother carrying it around with his chores. They called him Soujiro, for they find the name inscribed at one of the almost washed letters tucked in his robe. It's been almost a week already, and donning also peasant clothes.he wants to leave everything of his void past behind. He was found wearing a ravaged torn kimono, his arms are wearing custom made protectors.that one would need in battle.plus the sword, a very beautiful crafted one and lethally sharp. With these he comes up with a conclusion: the life he led before must have not been peaceful as this. The interest to know who he was has plummeted swiftly, and he requested that his old clothes to be thrown away.  
  
But that night, he have to accompany Yuri in picking some wild herbs by the forest.and is in awe that how he, have retained a strong memory of the place. "This forest is often dangerous and one could easily get lost or threatened by nasty rouges," she once exclaimed, "maybe you have been here before, don't you think?"  
  
He merely shrugged, and she insisted that he brings his sword.just in case. And with great resentment, he did. It will be of good use now, when he heard screams from a certain direction.he found Yuri in a mercy of five ruffians. The sight of a young farmer boy dragging a sword caught their eye that it immediately distracts them to let her rush quickly to his side.  
  
If he could only remember only how to use it.  
  
"Well kid, who the fuck are you?" one of them chided, and Soujiro could feel his blood boil. Right now he wants to rage and kick them to death, but obviously they are outnumbered. But it's so strange, he managed to remain very calm of the situation.added to surprise for himself, he felt involuntarily that a smile is slowly breaking in his face. He finds himself speaking words he never thought he will utter,  
  
"Why don't you kill me instead?"  
  
"Smart-ass boy! Are you trying to insult us?!" One of them snarled, hitting him at the face. There is something bone-chilling of his smile, and most of the rogues feel queasy.what will this young peasant youth do? It's like he is holding his anger from within, and he is just about to show he'll unleash it with his victory with that proud smile. But the peasant boy does not even know how to hold a sword, the leader of the pack noticed it. Soujiro is clumsily dragging it by it's weight.  
  
Yuri quickly rushed to his aid, to see if he is okay. She is surprised to see him still smiling, as if he just had an embarrassing stumble to the ground. But it is good to see that he only obtain a bruise, and not a broken jaw.  
  
"They call me Soujiro, but I have no qualms on who I really am.I lost my memory," he finally replied. It's the truth, and the men looked at him in stern silence. A few minutes after, they all laughed in ridicule.  
  
"Leave him alone! He didn't know anything, and that's the truth!!" Yuri said bravely, pressing her digit firmly to one of them, her small frame seemingly dwarfish to the supposedly bandits, as she tried her best to threaten them off. But it became a small amusement to them, a puny peasant girl defending a youth who does not know who he was and is by mercy, trying to use a sword when he can't.  
  
"So why don't we let him refresh his little head?!" one of them grabbed the frail Yuri, and try to pin her to the ground and ravish her. The rest of the men eagerly watched, and anticipating their turn. "Let the little boy watch and see what it takes to be a real man!!" Soujiro starts to see red, and suddenly his head throbbed fiercely with great pain. He is so consumed of desire to defend the person who saved him at the day he walked the earth nameless, that it somehow sent some reaction to his brain. "Hanase..Hanase!!!" the girl screamed, as the man tried to pry her legs forcefully open.  
  
"Iya!! Hanase.." She look to him at her left disparingly, ".Soujiro!!"  
  
A vivid flashback, accompanied by a searing pain to his head resounded, that he cringed in pain and fell to the ground. An image of a young lady with soulful green eyes and long hair came into his mind, and she was struggling to his grip. She was screaming the almost same words that Yuri is doing now,  
  
"Misao!" his memory react on impulse, automatically came into recognition twin with the image. He found his old self screaming that name. But in the present, his mouth open soundlessly and the name means nothing.  
  
"Damare, bakaero!!" the man hissed, and hit Yuri to the face. The others laughed, enjoying the sight, as Soujiro watched helplessly laying down the ground.  
  
That act, has finally inflamed him.  
  
His body reacted as if it has a control on its own, recalling the reflexes and moves he once has, but he can't consciously remembers. He quickly hoisted the sword, and when the others recognized it, it's all too late.  
  
The first man to fall has his eyes stared in full disbelief and his mouth distorted to a soundless grotesque scream, as Soujiro cleverly maneuvered his sword in a fatal arc, cutting both arms swiftly, as like the wind has pass through the body. Blood bursts into mid air, spattering anyone within the radius. The other three lackey's looked around and is utterly horrified with the red crimson that stained in them, and finding the peasant boy standing, the sword in his hand that delivered the move in such a professional stance. The smile on Soujiro's face, is wicked.  
  
"Yuen, Kagaru, Tomu, Hanji..is everything alright?" their master, who got distracted by the sudden haste silence, got nothing but swishing sounds that greeted his ears and low grunts and gasps as a response. It stalled him for awhile, and disturbs him that he hears no one responded to his question. He stared back at Yuri, the girl underneath him is unusually calm, and her doe eyes are staring out in a distance widely. A closer look to those brown wide orbs, he noticed what seems to be a flicker of a sword that was to pass about his neck. He rolled down to the ground in a nick of time,  
  
"Hah! You bastard! Do you think that will work!!" he let out a nervous laugh, but it came to a sudden halt when it came into that the youth does not look like what he expected. Soujiro is into an offensive mode stance, and his sword is unsheathed and dripping with dark red stain. The pose is not any lame threat, it is for real. The sword, which he is clumsily dragging awhile ago, is now being hold like a light feather. The stains in his clothes indicated he hacked his lackeys in a swift, silent death. And his eye's, they are full with dark rage, clouding the indigo gaze to a deadly blue flame.  
  
"Yuen, Kagaru! Tomu! Hanji!" he swallowed a deep painful lump to his throat as he called out their names, no response. He looked back at Soujiro once again, a sign of defeat and fear played at his face.  
  
"They can't help you now." Soujiro replied flatly, "they are all dead." Placing the tip damgerously near his throat, he whispered. "Leave us alone, and I'll spare yours in turn."  
  
He was surprised to see the man laugh, is it a sign of desperation? To distract him? Whatever it is, his body's instinct tells him to be on guard, and he never let go of the grip.  
  
"Hah! And you said you have amnesia!!" the man howled, ".is this who you really are kid? Or are you playing games with me?" all this might be gibberish, but its giving the man enough time for himself to make out a dagger in his secret pocket. "Looks to me that you have a dark past you can't remember!!"  
  
Another searing pain shot to Soujiro's head. A dark past? The truth is he can't recall anything why he just did that. His body responded just automatically by instinct at the alarming sight of Yuri being violated.to where he learned it, to what it is called.it all escapes him. Fear creeps into him, the past he does not want to remember is haunting him at the very moment. Does it mean.he was once a cold vicious killer? A trained assassin? Who was he? WHAT was he?  
  
The bandit took the moment of distraction to lounge on him. With the flash of silver raised, Soujiro felt a sting of the cold metal lanced down to his right arm. The pain and smell of his own blood alerted his senses once more, and whatever force within him, it starts to control his every move. He countered swiftly, just when the man is going to stab him again, he disappeared into thin air.  
  
Just to re-appear lightning quick behind his back.  
  
A cold whaffing of air that teased the back of his neck made his hair prickle, a small shadow is behind him, and the next thing he knows is the pool of his own blood spilling through the cold night air, as the gleaming metal slashed to his back. Soujiro finally has him.  
  
It took several moments for Soujiro to recover from his own shock, and a less rattled Yuri to trek the way he knew his home. Her mother is full of worry on seeing the sight of both of them in mess, but most of all, held aghast to see Soujiro stained with blood.and so is the sheathed sword in his grip. After getting a good night bath and some tea to calm both their nerves, Soujiro relayed the incident that had happened. In desperation to save Yuri, he recalls some fragments of his memory. And that memory is the strange extraordinary skills that he can't imagine having, the way of the sword.  
  
"I-I don't like to kill them," he whispered, "but then and there.it seems I'm drawn just to do it.just to save Yuri."  
  
Osei, Yuri's middle-aged mother, nodded thoughtfully. She has accustomed to like the boy that could have been her own, also perhaps also as a son-in-law. And the truthful sadness in his voice is indicating that he does not want to be restored to his former life, and she fully believed him. But they can't keep a youth with a dark past, as she listens to his statement.she is pondering on how she could break the news.  
  
"Soujiro, you have been great help to us, me and Yuri, and I could never wish for anything else.having such a young man like you that could be my son is a dream comes true. But there is something important I have to tell." she stood up, and arrived few minutes later carrying a box. "I kept your old things, in a hope that someone in your past could identify you, a family perhaps..do you wish to remember?"  
  
Soujiro reluctantly agreed, after all for what he had gone through now, he is in dire need of explanation. "Hai, please tell me."  
  
Osei breathed deeply, she does not know if she'll be happy or worried in bringing the news. "Your true identity is.Soujiro.Seta Soujiro. I send your items to some authorities for identification, and they positively agree that you are him and in regard that once you know already about it..you must immediately leave."  
  
He felt a quick stab in his heart, and Yuri looked a bit puzzled to her mother. "Why, okaasan?"  
  
" In early morning tomorrow, if he didn't leave.we will be arrested." she looked with a painful gaze to Soujiro, the youth has no absolute idea on who he was. But no matter how much they were endeared by him, she has to let him go.  
  
".Seta Soujiro." she trails off, ".you are a once former skilled assassin, a master of the Heaven Sword technique. You once served as the trusted right-hand man to a former dictator who threatened to take over Japan some year or so ago, by a man called Makoto Shi-shi-o." she bent her head sadly, ".your blinded loyalty that nearly destroyed you, then you got engaged in a bloody battle, and was spared on that duel by the so called Kenshin Himura.your former sworn enemy."  
  
".the former battosai the slasher!" Yuri whispered, trying to hide the amusement beneath her voice. She didn't know the youth she had grown to like as a brother has connections with the most complex of political figures.and of slashers.  
  
".Kenshin Himura, he saved your life.and believes you have to start a new beginning, in the process, he lets you escape.on which you did. After that, no one has heard of you again.until now."  
  
To Soujiro it's like hearing some alien language, what he has feared was brought to reality. He struggled with the words to say, ".and what happened after I escaped?"  
  
"No one knows for sure, but a few people who recognized you said you became an aloof yet law abiding citizen.wandering from place to place." Osei replied, "But the police believed that even so, you can re-surface a threat.and they ordered an arrest as early as tomorrow." She placed her hands to his, squeezing it firmly and looking at him to the eye. "Soujiro, I believed that you are now a changed man.so you must leave tonight, I'm telling you!"  
  
He felt at loss, the small family he came to knew are risking themselves so that he could re-discover himself once more, he finds himself saying yes, and they all hastily starts making preparations. Osei told him that she fixed his clothes, except for the missing torn piece, and told him to wear them once more so no one could find any evidence he have been there, to which he obey immediately. For he somehow knew already about his past, and so he have to re-took the getup once more. He finds himself recognizing every detail, how quick he could put those arm protectors, down to the complex tied sandals and to slinging his sword in a deceiving notion that none could see it. It's so painful to say farewell.  
  
"Osei-san." he suddenly remembered, "I mentioned someone named Misao while ago right? Do they give any information that she was..a lead that could possibly know who I really am?"  
  
"Misao.I think they mentioned someone named Makamachi Misao, yes I think you knew of her." there is an expression of Osei's face that it is not a good idea to look for the woman, " She is the current leader of some ninja clan Oniwabanshu, she used to be one of your enemies."  
  
"It's not a good idea to look for a former enemy, Soujiro."  
  
"Yes, but somehow..she is connected to my past in a strong sense, and not as an enemy." he said wondering out loud, when the name registers to his head.the vision of the boyish looking girl giggling into some inn came into mind. Maybe after the aftermath, they met somewhere.and she didn't know who he was. But that time, he knew her, and finds himself at ease at her presence at that instant. "Osei-san, Yuri.she could probably held some answers, please forgive me.I'll try my best not to get into any much trouble" he bowed in respect, and the mother and daughter hugged him tight.  
  
"Arigatou for everything, I mean it.till then,Sayonara.." 


	7. Of Compassion, and Pity

Part seven: Of compassion, and pity  
  
  
  
Soujiro is determined to know who he really was, despite that others recall his memories for him. He wondered why this Makamachi Misao suddenly came into his life, if she was a former enemy. He tried to make out a caricature of her from his vague recollection, and roaming around the town asking for her and where she lives, but they weren't giving him direct answers. Osei was right on one thing, people recognized him as a wanderer and they don't avoid him for what he appears: A young man carrying a sword, asking details about a current leader of a clan! He stops by an inn, which seems to have a strong sense of déjà vu in it, for he was greeted by the helpers, "Oi! You are back!! So how's the travel young man?" one of them said in a playful chatter, and instantly the female servants are swarming him. He didn't know how to respond, if he told them he lost his memory. Obviously they all took a liking on him, being accursed with youthful boyish looks. He gave them a small smile, and made his order as he sits down near one of the smaller tables.  
  
"I'm looking for a Makamachi Misao," he paused, "have you people known of her?"  
  
One of the servants gave him a warm laugh, "You don't remember? You met her just about last week! She is a resident of this parts..you help her disband an annoying group in here."  
  
"I happen to have a little problem with my memory." he scratches his head. " I recall only a little, so where can I find her?"  
  
The female servant suddenly became silent and solemn, "I think it's not the right time to look for her. I heard she have a rough time."  
  
"How bad?"  
  
"Very bad." The woman replied curtly, as she gives her serving of tea. "Don't you hear the news?"  
  
"I was.at the distant part of the forest, so I think I don't hear anything quite much."  
  
"Very well," the woman sighed, "Rumors has it, that almost exactly a week before.Misao is going home in the afternoon, but she never came back until that very late night. She was founded, limping back home badly wounded into the arms of her guardian Shinomori Aoshi.she was." her voice trailed off, Soujiro noticed that the woman's face was contorted into a disgust that she can barely utter what she wants to say, and tried to keep it into a low voice, ".she was, disgraced."  
  
Soujiro felt like a tight painful knot churned into his stomach, poor Misao.he can't bare the thought of such wild, care-free lady being taken advantage of. The woman continued and said the event happened sometime around last week, by the forests.and also happens the exact week where he was found, lost of memory. The only fragments he managed to recall, is seeing Misao in the inn.seeing her screaming in the forest.  
  
Could there be a link? It sounds quite eerie to be a coincidence.  
  
"Are you alright? You seem rather pale.." The woman asked, taking note that Soujiro's face has lost its color.  
  
"Umm.it's nothing, my head just hurts.please continue," he muttered, "please continue on what happened."  
  
"After that event, everyone in the town noticed that she has changed.." The woman continued, ".she was never seen often to the streets again, if she was.she is always seen accompanied by Aoshi."  
  
Aoshi.the name kind of ring a bell to Soujiro, before he left, Osei and Yuri managed to give him the documents that they requested in a nearby district, of the people that relates to his forgotten past.be it enemy or not. Shinomori Aoshi is among the top of the list. He is a former Oniwabanshu leader, of the original deceased members he is the only one who survived. He joined Shi-Shi-o's group for the sole purpose to avenge their deaths. Now he has somehow retired on duty, he spends his days secluded at the temple.and his adoptive daughter, Misao, have taken over his position. He acts as her legal guardian, along with the much respected elder of the group, Okina.  
  
".is she from by anyway, changed?"  
  
"Very much indeed." The woman said, "The young spunky lady you once met is taken away, she changed dramatically.she cut off her hair short, she wears different and much conservative clothing. Most of the time, she hardly smiles and say anything, often, she is seen weeping and arguing with her guardian. The personality she has been known for is gone forever."  
  
".Gone forever.I feel sorry for her, who ever have done this to her deserves a punishment." Soujiro said, ".don't they have any clue on who possibly could do this?"  
  
"That is the controversial part," the woman whispered, ".it is rumored that whoever done this knows a great deal of Aoshi and of her. For the assailant speaks of their names with intended disgust.that is what she remembers,"  
  
"Does he know how she looks like?"  
  
"No, the attacker is wise. He took advantage her at the dark night in the forest, she never got to see his face." The woman resumed, ".it is said, that she told Aoshi of this, but he never ever try to do anything about it.he wants her to swear on silence,"  
  
".for he knew of the attacker,"  
  
"Yes, but with some unexplained reasons, he don't want to let her know who. It is like a dark secret or something.poor Misao, the man had carried the secret down to his grave."  
  
Soujiro's ears pricked up at the last statement, "You mean, he is already DEAD?!"  
  
The woman hushed him down, "Hai.the news has it that he died in food poisoning.but rumors are spreading that he committed suicide."  
  
"This couldn't possibly be happening!"  
  
"It is true," a man by the next table, can't help but comment while listening to the conversation. "The dead man just had his burial rites, this early morning.accompanied by some small group of friends, I think one of them is a ronin with red hair."  
  
"That must be Kenshin Himura," the woman gasped, "but what is he doing here?'"  
  
".Heard that they came here to pay Aoshi and Misao for a friendly visit, after a few days.well, they are surprised to see the former Oniwabanshu leader dead.and to think, Okina just come home today from a short trip."  
  
"Okina.it would be hard to him to bear the news," the woman agreed, then she noticed that Soujiro is standing up. "H-Hey, where are you going?"  
  
He wants to see it for himself, the young lady that could link him at those last few moments of his elapsed past, the tragedy that have befallen her.if it's anyway connected to his lost of memory. He didn't care if they are of former enemies anymore.  
  
"I left the bill already at the counter," he said, gathering up his things. "I have to see what is happening I.it's too hard to believe it myself."  
  
  
  
Meanwhile,  
  
Okina was more than morose upon receiving the news, he became very silent. His heart poured out to Misao, who have changed a lot ever since he left. She remained as motionless and blank as she lay curled to his lap like a cat, and he was hushing her, stroking her head. Through Kenshin's soft and well-spoken words, he slowly explained that Aoshi committed suicide.and the reason WHY he committed suicide. Okina muttered he could never forgive the one who did it to Misao, and he remarkably remained calm throughout the conversation.with the composure and respect of a man of his stature and age. But there is an obvious angry flame in his blurry eyes.  
  
"Misao.she is still in shock, she never spoke a word ever since his death." Kaoru added, sitting beside Kenshin. "It's good that you are back Okina, it is so sad that you have to go home and receive this news."  
  
"I thank you, and everyone else in trying to help Misao.but I cannot forgive yet forget the sole perpetrator of this event."  
  
It was that early morning, he is full of enthusiasm arriving home carrying a lot of goods to surprise her and the whole household. He knows how Misao like European goods and how her scandalous squeals of delight will be music to his hears.the warm welcome of everyone back home. Aoshi would be then following on tow, keeping a close eye to his ward, and the oni's will be waiting by his step. But what greeted him is total silence, no one approached as he announced his arrival, and saw few garbed monks situated by a tree near his place, there is a burial going on. He saw the familiar faces, the red haired hitokiri with his group are there. There is absolute denial in their faces that they want to cry. The oniwabanshu's stood there in silence, greeting Okina but with something they can't say.and Misao, he barely recognized her. He was in shock to see she have dramatically changed, and she didn't even flinch when he cried out her name. Misao was staring blankly at the ground, and when he followed her gaze.he saw the dead body laying down the ground to be of that of Aoshi.  
  
Even immaculately garbed in a way he shall draw respect as one of the clan's best leaders, Okina immediately noticed a hideous raw abrasion to the neck. After the burial ceremony proper was finished, the Kenshin-gumi tried their very best to break the news very slowly.  
  
Like Sanosuke, Okina is wary of Aoshi's sudden suicide. Even with a signed note, they wonder if there is a possible set up involved. The autopsy done tells its suicide, even though they said that the neck wound is "viciously wringed tight, unusually so" for someone who is going to hang himself. Kenshin tried to put Sanosuke's insight of Aoshi being killed before he was hanged by some lethal acupuncture technique, but the coroner's report said that the neck suffered severe abrasions to the 2nd degree that it's next to impossible to find a pin-prick there. There are no signs of struggle nor are there poisonous intakes in his body, leaving even the observant Kenshin stumped and removing the possibility of a killer.  
  
"We are all in dead end," Kenshin sighed; they were supposed to leave that very afternoon, even with the unsuspected dilemma that sets in. Everyone longed to stay there, to help solve the mystery, but they don't have much time and there is some business to be taken care back home. "Okina, if there is anything we could do."  
  
"I and the remaining Oniwabanshus would find a way to have Misao and Aoshi's death rightfully avenged." Okina couldn't shake the thought that there is a string that tied between the chains of events, that the one responsible in disgracing Misao is also the one who killed Aoshi. But there is no substantial proof. Misao will never be the same again, she will be never being the care free tomboy who breeze at the outdoors with the devil- may-care attitude. She is reduced to a shaking, lifeless doll that can't walk outdoors without someone accompanying her. Even if they find the merciless mad man, they could not bring everything that has been lost.back.  
  
"You can keep the note," Sanosuke said, handing over the suicide note to Okina. There might be some clue he overlook, and being the only person in the room that agrees with his suspicions, he trusted Okina with it. He approached Misao, who remained tacit through the whole event, and squeezed her hands firmly, he don't want to say goodbye, not now. "I would do my best to find who did this to you, Misao." he whispered, and it aches to see her say nothing giving him a blank cow like stare. Misao have suffered a great deal already, clinging on any possible hope to the people she knew as her friends, but with situation growing worse, even their attempts are already futile. The catastrophe that shrouds everyone in the household came tumbling like a growing snow ball running down the slope, it gets bigger and bigger. She ran out grief and tears for all that happened already, from the past week to the present and what was left within her is vast emptiness, numbed with no more sense of emotion. Sanosuke gave her a tight hug, much to everyone's surprise. Still there is no reaction from her, "Take care of yourself, stay always by their side." is what he could all say.  
  
"If there are any leads, you people would be first to know.." And with the last statement, both men stood up and bowed, before the group finally took their leave. Misao sat up in a moment of silence, and waits after everyone have taken their leave.  
  
"Misao, if there is anything you want to tell me don't hesitate.." Okina said mildly, ".you can cry all you want, and I swear that I and the Oniwabanshu's will never fail you, ever." But Misao wasn't listening, she felt a sudden wave of nausea passing to her head, the same sensation she has when she fainted at the sight of Aoshi, she gagged her mouth.  
  
"Misao! Are you okay?" they demanded,  
  
She forces a small nod to say yes, but she can't control the urge anymore. She quickly ran to the bathroom and starts throwing up. She swore that these past few days, she ate only little and spend the rest of the week sleeping or practicing, and there is no way why she would throw up this much. Then came a knock on the door, and Okina's voice was calling out asking if she is alright. "Yes, I'm fine.just a little sick that's all.I feel better if I throw up." she halted, to start throwing up again.  
  
With her face splotchy and a little sore, she blearily reached to clean herself with a basinful of water. Beside it was the monthly calendar, which she sometimes uses to check her "visitor" days.  
  
"It's already one week.it seems a little rather late," and she felt her stomach churn, as if there would another wave of nausea coming again, then it dawns on her.  
  
"O-Oh my, n-no. it's the symptoms of morning sickness. I'm already late.I'm."  
  
  
  
"It's not a good idea to pay them a visit today, young lad." A passer by said, Soujiro is determined to reach Okina's stronghold.even how perilous it might be. He posed no threat to them now, and with what the few servants in the inn said, he met and talked with Misao once. She would eventually recognize him immediately, unsure if she already knows who he truly is.  
  
"I know.about the death of her guardian, I'm paying my respect as an old friend to Shinomori Aoshi." He fumbled an excuse, the best he could offer when the passer by noticed he is carrying a sword. The man snorted, and somehow believes him. "Take that street and turn by the left."  
  
"Hai."  
  
It took him a few minutes walk, and the man was telling the truth that he was on the right track, for he saw the distinctive group approaching from the opposite direction. The faces somehow sends some recognition to his senses, as he stop dead stiff on upon setting a gaze to the one heading the group, the man has a small frame like he has and they both have the same style of get up to indicate he is also a ronin, he also have a long bright red hair and cross-scar marked on his cheek. Osei-san told him before about a man with a cross-scar mark, known as Kenshin Himura.  
  
The man that set him free, the man he was used to believe as an enemy.but he felt nothing, only wonder.for everything and reason escapes him. Kenshin looked up and recognized him immediately, and also slowed down to his tracks. Sanosuke and Yahiko exchange wary glances, and quickly distanced themselves. The women looked about and whispered to each other, "No way. that's Seta Soujiro? He looks.so deceiving!" "What brings you here.Soujiro?" Kenshin spoke; there is something complacent tone in his voice that makes Soujiro quickly at ease.  
  
"I'm paying my respects.on Aoshi's death." He finds himself replying, ".and also to look up on Misao."  
  
Sanosuke nodded to Kenshin as if to say that the kid is telling the truth, Misao spoke of meeting Soujiro before, and that the latter looks lust-free when she met him. It's obvious that he look clueless, wandering and deciding of the sheer intimidation his presence would bring. But something caught Sano's ear, "Hey, hold on a minute.how do you know Aoshi's dead?"  
  
"Rumors are spreading in the town already, especially in inns and taverns.the people I met, they told me everything."  
  
"So you knew of what happened to Misao." Kenshin said,  
  
"Hai." Soujiro nodded, Kenshin starts to wonder something strange on the air around the youth. The way he speaks of the situation is like, he heard and known everybody the first time. He didn't flinch when he recognized Kenshin, nor at the sight of every body else. He stared to them in awe, as his converse with them. "It's so sad on what happened, and when I met her at the inn a week ago.I just can't imagine." his voice reduce to a low murmur. can't imagine what? He is speaking mechanically what others recalled for him, but the only proof he have known of her is the pieces of flashback that are parts of a yet bigger jigsaw puzzle. He is there to know how she is doing, and possibly.the only one who could put piece by piece some recollections of what really happened last week.  
  
"I understood how you feel; we all feel the same for her." Kenshin finally concluded, "Well we must get going now, take care of yourself and good luck."  
  
"Ja!" he waved to say farewell, and what he received is queasy looks from the rest of them. And it's not his imagination when he saw Yahiko scampered away quickly to Kenshin's side, and the women not returning his smile. Maybe he really was a bad person before, and he pities that identity of his. It gave him mixed feelings, about the interest of his past.  
  
  
  
After around 20 minutes of walking, he is nearing the residence now, and he could feel that everything in his surrounding somehow muted and all he could hear is the errant pound of his heartbeat. He have a strong perception of the place.this could be the Oniwabanshu's stronghold. A small sign by the tree and a small stone erected at the ground indicated that a burial ceremony has taken place already, and the silence is deafening. "Aoshi."  
  
Where would he start? Shall he look up Misao first, or shall he talk with Okina? But they might grill him with questions that he shall have no answer, for he lost them all.  
  
"Matte! Come back, Misao!!" the screen door suddenly bolt open, and Soujiro didn't know what was coming. It is a young lady with short black hair; wearing long clothes.she was running hastily not looking around that she nearly knocked him down the ground. It took him a minute to recognize who she was, "M-Misao?"  
  
A couple of people donning the colors of the oniwabanshu tried to stop her, seeing Soujiro baffled in surprise, but not recognizing who he was. "Please stop her! She has gone mad..she is going to commit suicide!!"  
  
Soujiro look at his kimono, for Misao brushed at him when she passed. There are crimson stains and hand imprints on it. "She must have tried to cut herself." without any second thought, he quickly ran after her. The way he looks at it, Misao is going to flung herself over.probably over a rocky cliff or a deep ravaging river. The steps he was taking where starting to get into higher ground, and much steeper. "She is going to throw herself by the cliff!" he gasped,  
  
Why me. why not someone else?  
  
The string of events that happened, she could no longer bare it all. The rape, Aoshi's sudden suicide.Grandpa Okina very heartbroken indeed.everything is plunging to chaos, all leading to pain and suffering, if she finishes herself.it would spare more of seeing her love ones getting hurt because of her. She has firmly decided to end it now, she tried cutting her wrists again but some of the Oniwabanshu's have seen her.so in total desperation, she is going to throw herself to the cliff. It is the best for the fruit of the tribulation are starting to show .  
  
She is with child.  
  
Very sure of it, the signs are so obvious and she is smart enough to listen about Megumi's knowledge on mid-wifery: the unusual sleeping habits, fainting and throwing up not to mention she was late. She could not doubt about it, for something DID happen last week.the event that started it all. The mysterious assailant has firmly planted his seed to her womb, and she is carrying what she doesn't want to acknowledge as her own. The one would be born, and she will watch it grow and hate every minute of it, for it reminds her of the past she wants to forget. The faceless attacker that ravished her that one fateful night.  
  
She neared the tip of the cliff, her steps a shy away from the jagged edge. The bottom is a tumult of crashing rocks and swift white cascading waters, that anyone who plummet down there would not only drown but crushed him/her to death. It's a painful way to die, but it left her no choice.  
  
"Sayonara, my unborn one.sayonara, my friends.family, I shall end it all.I'm sorry" and she shut her eyes, taking one deep breath and she plunged herself to the abyss.  
  
"NO!!! Misao!!! "  
  
A familiar voice, she heard someone starts calling her name and it came from that of a young man. It couldn't be any of the Kenshin-gumi, and it's too soft to come from any of the Onis. But she knows from the back of her head that she met whoever he is. What came in an instant, she felt a firm hand clutching her grip.just as she was already several feet down the jagged rocks and whirling madness of water below. She tried to open her eyes, and she can see the shadow of a figure, holding her one arm tight and leaning at the cliff's edge.  
  
The young man has the most incandescent indigo eyes she has ever seen  
  
It took her a few minutes when the sunlight streaked the youth's features then does she eventually recognized him, "S-Soujiro?! You are Seta Soujiro!"  
  
"Misao, I would not have us as enemies." He spoke, knowing from other's recollection to which he created his own impression. "I came here to save you, it's never too late."  
  
He is like a savior that appeared out from nowhere, and is now saving her life...twice. But Misao could not try on the possibility of his words, her friends tried to help her.she didn't know what this young ronin knew if he learns why she is at the brink of ending her life.  
  
"What do you know?! You don't know anything!"  
  
I knew everything, he wants to say. That's why I'm here to help. But before he could argue more, the ground beneath him gave way, and in front of him is Misao's face with her mouth gaping wide, as she incidentally lets go of his grip and starts to fall backwards as he managed to stabilized himself by a situated solid support a feet below, "Misao!!!"  
  
It's like the time has stopped to Misao, everything seems to be in slow motion. She fall backwards, awaiting the sudden swashing sounds of clashing rocks and wild water to wipe her body away.and there is nothing that Soujiro could do to stop it. He tried his best, and she.willed that this has to happen. "You don't know anything.anything."  
  
But another miracle occurred, just she was nearing the jaws of death, she feels a surge of warmth wrapping around her, catching her like a falling feather. The smell of dewy earth and wind enveloping to her nostrils, and a warm heaving breath by her forehead as she feels some strange force starts to soar her upwards, saving her from the perilous depths that waits below.  
  
Warm heaving breathes.? She opened one eye, and what greeted her is the color of light blue sleeve of a kimono and when she looks up is the familiar face of Soujiro. He catches her with the use of his cat like reflexes, and is starting to hop a few steps up to the top. His light and quick steps make her feel like she was flying in graceful speed of the wind. And so peaceful it is that she fell asleep in his arms.  
  
  
  
"We are near your home now,"  
  
The soft warm voice seems awakened her from a slumber, and Misao has a wonderful dream that she never have in weeks. She dreamt that just as she was falling to the deep waters, Soujiro.the young ronin she met at the inn last time, came to save her and gliding swiftly like the wind catches her in his arms. She rubbed her eyes, wondering why she felt like she was being lifted and turned to the sound of the voice.  
  
"Soujiro?!" she said in a surprised tone, Soujiro is happy to see that a spark in her once more upon coming into her senses. That is what he recalls in his vague memory.Misao, a young ninja with a strong care-free spirit. Misao wondered on seeing the bemused yet relieved face looking DOWN at her and then she noticed that she was being carried in his arms. So, everything is not a dream after all! She blushed, keeping her head bowed, as she recalled everything that happened. Soujiro saved her from trying to commit suicide, and she fainted along the way that he has to carry her back home. It's so embarrassing, that she get him involved with her problems.  
  
As if reading her reaction he somehow understood, he bent his head and gave her a soft pressed kiss at the forehead. It somehow surprised and electrified her that she suddenly jerked from his grip.  
  
"I hope that would make you feel better," Soujiro whispered. "I heard everything Misao.about what happened, I know."  
  
"It's okay" she murmured, ".you shouldn't have bother.it's my fault anyway, I shouldn't have come home late." her voice fades off, Soujiro is looking at her intently as she speaks and she is caught with warm comforting glow in his face, the expression of compassion for her. It is the way he is silently telling her that everything is going to be alright, and thus making her at ease. She starts to slowly tell everything, from the day she was attacked, to the strain of relationship with Aoshi...and until his abrupt death. To Soujiro, he tries to sense the logic of how it is connected to his blank past.but he could find nothing. He tried to purge the image of his head, when Misao's image flashed in his mind when he was under Yuri's care.but it wouldn't return back. He finds himself looking too intently close to her, his face already dangerously near to her own, as he also strain to hear her voice as she whispered about the events that happened in her life. He is getting strangely drawn with his feelings of compassion and pity, he wants to comfort her the only way he know. Misao finds herself slowly stopping the conversation, until everything ceased to silence.finding herself haplessly looking to the young unmarred face of the person who saved her twice in a row, feeling the urgency of someone to hold in the time of need. Looking to each other's eyes, they felt a mutual consent passed between them. He bent his head lower to brush his lips to hers, and was surprised that she eagerly responded, and could feel the tease of her tongue to coax them apart. He opened his mouth lightly in reply, pressing it firmer and harder, thrusting his own wet tongue to engage in a soft duel with hers.he felt giddy, and lightheaded.he never knew such sensation before, maybe because he never got to kiss someone in his whole life. It went in minutes, and when Misao feels she is starting to run out of air, and realized what is going on.Soujiro quickly tear off his mouth from hers. His face has a baffled expression as she has, and both are panting heavily.  
  
"G-Gomen!" he stammered, at loss of what he is going to say. He was so shocked on how silly he responded, Misao in his arms.very much in need of someone to listen to her cries, that he took advantage of it. He didn't know what to do, that he immediately deposited her to the ground like a hot potato in his hands. She whimpered not because she was hurt at the fall.there is a longing look in her gaze. That moment, he realized she was not angry. She needs him.  
  
"It's my fault Soujiro.I- I got carried away."  
  
Soujiro knelt down, and hushed her. He starts to threat her arm wounds, when he saw the stains on his kimono. "No can blame you Misao," he tendered, reaching down the ground as he took some big fallen leaves, and tried wrapping it to her arms to prevent more bleeding. ".it's just.maybe you need someone to hold on too, when everything is at loss.it is natural to be attached to someone, especially now that what you are into."  
  
She sniffed, and noticed that how calm and well disposed the young ronin handled the sensitive situation. He is now tending to her wounds, since there is nothing much less to do.rather than the thought of her having her again carried to the way home. They might be tempted again. And to think, what will Okina say when he sees a former enemy who disappeared into oblivion for nearly a year ago, carrying her like a bride to be whisked to her bed chamber? She quickly collared the errant thoughts. She tried distracting herself as she talks to Soujiro  
  
"You seem to know a lot.your parents must have thought you well." she remarked,  
  
"I am a child out of wed lock; I never get to know them." he said in a pleasant manner that astounded her. "When my father died, I was set to be taken care of his first family.but they look to me as nothing but a bastard son.I never recall a day I was not beaten."  
  
"I am so sorry to hear that, you." she paused, as if seeing the reason what made him before as a cold blood assassin. The truth is, yet again, Soujiro does not recall ACTUALLY anything. He is armed with a research based by others, and that is what he is narrating right now. It would be much complex to explain, to Misao.that he actually lost his memory. He spoke of his "childhood days" as if it is someone else, some being that he could pitied on, that he despise to what it became.  
  
"Somehow, Shi-shi-o saved me.from that point on, I became his loyal servant." he said flatly, "But all that is of the past, I'm not going to do the same mistake again."  
  
"I think you are missing something." Misao said, "How Shi-shi-o did convinced you to join? And how do you managed to explain your initial reflex to SMILE all the time?" Soujiro also wondered about that, the way he smiles. It became a reflex in almost anything, but it gave him the shivers when he smiled at the night he killed Yuri's attackers. He tried his best.not to smile much from that point on. He can't answer Misao's question about it, "I-I don't remember, I think Kenshin-san hit me so hard then.that I can't recall anything." He replied, in half-truth.  
  
"Misao! Misao!"  
  
She could hear a ripe, croaky voice calling her again.and it sounds very near, and it's accompanied by several more voices. "It's Okina, they came back looking for me!" her green eyes widened, "He won't be happy on seeing you with me.You must leave now!"  
  
But Soujiro didn't budge, to state the obvious; Okina has it reasons on to be protective of his ward, now that Aoshi is gone. His identity, his past.it haunts them like a plague.  
  
"No, I won't leave!" he said firmly, holding her both arms re-assuring tight. "I won't leave until they have you safe and sound."  
  
"Soujiro."  
  
"Misao, there you are! You got us all worried!!" Okina cried out in relief, "Omasu told me you attempted to cut your arm.."  
  
But he never get to finish his sentence, for his gaze fixed on the familiar figure of a boy in blue holding Misao in a slight possessive manner by the arms. Soujiro is looking to him at surprise, not knowing what to say. Okina's sudden silence caught the attention of the other oni's, and they hastily approached to that direction.  
  
"G'andpa, I think you heard of Soujiro." Misao spoke, and the ronin nodded his greeting.  
  
"I know who he is, one of the jupon gatana escapees." Okina replied grimly, "Misao.get behind me quick before he does something else.NOW."  
  
"G'andpa!!" she said in a strong voice of indignation, that it caught everyone with surprise.  
  
"Soujiro didn't do anything! He saved me! He saved my life!!" 


	8. Rekindling a Lost Flame

Part eight: Rekindling a lost flame  
  
  
  
"What he said is true; master." one of the oniwabanshu offered an explanation. "He was there when we are to stop Misao, he followed suit.if weren't for him. Misao would be dead right now."  
  
He listened thoughtfully to the oni's, understanding that they never seen Soujiro before and was surprised to see it was him at front right now, a young lad who was once a cold calculating mercenary. "I understand that," he said crossly, not liking what he is seeing in a distance. There is Misao sitting by the porch, and Soujiro is still tending to her wound.with the bandages and herbs that the other Oni's offered. He felt his neck vein would pop when Soujiro daintily kissed one of her bounded wrists, he heard how a small kiss would make a wound feel better but the thought of Soujiro suddenly popping out of nowhere and very absorb with Misao is, plainly absurd and insane.  
  
"Misao met Soujiro a week or so before the incident." one of the oni's said as if reading his mind, ".he kind of saved her from the usual day brawl, and when he knew who she was.he refused to tell his identity."  
  
"So why does it seems, they know VERY much of each other now?"  
  
"Sanosuke described him just a few days ago.and the way she tells us about their first encounter is." one of the female oni crinkled her nose, ".more on love in first sight. The fact he saved her life, and he does it again."  
  
"It still does not make any difference," Okina cuts off, his coldness is explainable. Misao is in a very vulnerable stage right now, that he won't be surprised that she would be fawning over someone who will return her affection. As of Soujiro, he does not really trusted him.he could be taking advantage of her, but the way he look and act right now it seems nothing is amiss. He is full of concern and care for her, and nothing else. But he quickly dismissed the thought, as he suspiciously noticed that a part of his sleeve is missing.  
  
That night, Okina hardly ate his dinner since he can't help but cautiously watch at him. The oniwabanshu's insisted that he stay for the night, or perhaps longer.if it's for the betterment of Misao. They were relieved to see her old self somehow again, perhaps like that of a rekindled flame and they want to keep it that way, and they doubt that Soujiro would stir any trouble now.  
  
A little later, Okina makes sure that everyone in the household has done their chores, before he called for Soujiro to his room. To which the lad hastily obeyed, he looked clueless.as if less intimidated and more curious why Okina called him.  
  
"Do you know that you have guts, young man?" he said, not facing him.for he is busy tinkering something at the table. "It's not everyday a former enemy would show up, then save my granddaughter.as if he know what is happening."  
  
"Master Okina, I do what I have to.she is going to throw herself, so I have to save her." It's even more strange, that now, he called him Master. Surely, Soujiro is not implying sarcasm; his face looks so darn honest like he meant those words. "And how do you happen to be there, at the right place at the right time?"  
  
"I am going straight to your stronghold, when she ran pass by me.the oniwabanshu's are calling out for someone to stop her so I did."  
  
"What decides you to go here?"  
  
"I heard what happened to her, the sudden death of Aoshi.and I came to pay my respects."  
  
"For why?"  
  
Okina turned around, and through the dim light that illuminates the room, he can see the expression of Soujiro's face grow tense. He is struggling of what words to say, but can't say nothing. It is unusual to see Soujiro very rattled, for mostly, he is known to be calm and detached even in dire situations. Now he looked like a little boy caught doing something that is not good, "Surely Soujiro, you must have a reason.is saving Misao the first time you saw her.is PLANNED?"  
  
"N-No."  
  
"Then what is it?" he hissed, "Don't tell me you just simply walked one day and suddenly fell for her!"  
  
"I t-think I did,"  
  
"You were not even sure?!"  
  
"No!" he cried out, holding his hands to his head, and as he phased to and fro in the room, his head hurts if he tries to forcefully recall anything, and Okina noticed it immediately. "No!! I don't know!! I can't." he looked up, breathing heavily, "I can't remember anything."  
  
Okina's face fell, and nearly dropped the lamp from the table, but Soujiro insisted on explaining. "Okina, please listen to me. After a week ago, I woke up several miles from here without a memory of what really happened, from the same forest Misao has been. My past was a total blank. I was found by a small family, and they helped me search for my true identity." he said, hoping Okina would do believe him. ".some of those memories came back, I learned that I'm highly skilled in using a sword and those who adopted me have tried to get information to the authorities, and that is what I believed, who I really am."  
  
"If you really don't know anything.why have you taken such interest with Misao?"  
  
"She." he paused, ".she appeared once or twice in my attempt to recall fragments of my past, I think there is a connection between us.between the gap that leave me robbed of my memory and she.of what could never be reclaimed again." "Your right sleeve." Okina motioned,  
  
"What about my sleeve?"  
  
Soujiro is not playing games with me, Okina said to himself. The lad is looking him straight to the eye with inquisitiveness, and taking a look at his right sleeve with a torn piece of it as if wondering how it get there. He sighed, and reached underneath the table, telling Soujiro to sit in front of him. He brought a small box, and brought out its contents.a small torn piece of sleeve and the supposedly suicide note. Okina lifted the cloth material for Soujiro to see, "I believe this might be yours, if you are wondering how a hole got in there."  
  
"Well, it seems to be of match.why?"  
  
"This is the piece of garment on which Misao have torn, " Okina explained morosely, ".she torn it off the attacker's clothing that fateful night when she tries to fight back, and it's the only damning evidence we got to link up a suspect."  
  
"Are you saying that. I'm a suspect?" Soujiro became lightly pale, shaken by the thought. "Like I told you.I-I can't remember anything. I don't have any reason to.hurt Misao."  
  
"That's my guess." Okina sighed, "But tell me, what day you said you find yourself gone of memory?"  
  
Soujiro tried to recall, "I woke up around noon.I think that it's Tuesday."  
  
"Tuesday," Okina said, "Misao was found around late Monday night." his suspicion is starting to mount, but the more he discovers.the more Soujiro seems to be liable to say of anything. "Where are you around that time, Soujiro?"  
  
"I told you Okina, I don't have any recollection what happened before Tuesday. I don't remember anything."  
  
"I see," he warily watched the blue flame flickered at his lamp, yet again, another dead end. Now he got a prime suspect, who does not recall anything.and the expression in his face is genuine. He had to leave him off now, since there is nothing much he could do. Probably, Kenshin was right.anyone could dastardly wear a blue kimono.  
  
"My purpose Okina, is to link whatever happened that night to Misao.might something also to do with me.but I swear, it never cross my mind to violate her." He nodded curtly, "it is the whole truth, and I gave you my word."  
  
Okina disappointedly tossed the evidence back to the box, that he does not noticed that the note starts to fly at the edge near the wicker of the lamp. "Well Soujiro, but you still have to remember, I'll still keep a close eye on you.till that day eventually comes."  
  
"Hai." And with a respectful bow, he made a graceful exit from the room.  
  
Okina wearily decided that he might just need some rest, and noticed that the note is starting to burn. "Oh no!! Not you too!!" and starts to beat the small flame that licks to its left side, threatening to reduce it to crisp. He managed to spare it before it reached the initials, much to his relief, and probes the note near the light to see if there is more possible damage. Then suddenly, he noticed something he hasn't noticed before.  
  
"Dots.there are small dot holes in the paper." Okina squinted his eyes for a better look. Indeed, there are pinpricks of little holes that seem to be in some curves and loops of the characters written, as if it has been following a pattern.  
  
"Great merciful Buddha!" he gasped,  
  
The suicide note.it does not belong really that of Aoshi's. Someone tampered to make it look like HIS.  
  
  
  
That early morning, Okina said nothing, keeping the secret to himself. He is careful not to alert anyone's suspicions, for he kept his word to the Kenshin-gumi that he will deliver any possible leads HIMSELF. But being a little too old, and not strong enough in travels, it starts to give him second thoughts. He have to confirm more on Soujiro yet, and how to connect him with all the suspicious evidence.  
  
Misao broke the news slowly to everyone, to why she nearly took her own dear life yesterday. She told them, that the terrible incident that befallen her have bore fruit. She is pregnant with child. A little shocked, and all being terribly sorry for her.everyone agreed it's the best for her to keep the baby.  
  
"The baby will grow and be a part of our clan!" One of them tried to cheer her up, "We are proud that she'll have a mother like you."  
  
"Thanks," she replied mildly, not knowing if she will be saddened or happy of their reaction. They are, after all. trying to make her happy.  
  
Soujiro shook his head, and added a clever insight to the conversation. He lectured lightly on Misao that the unborn child is not a reason enough to take her own life that it has nothing to do what happened to her, but the fault of the attacker himself. Amazed by his thoughtfulness and concern, the Oniwabanshu's easily bonded with him, owing him greatly for Misao's rescue and for the happiness of Misao herself. Soujiro immediately became close to Misao, ever since yesterday afternoon that he rescued her. She is the only link he could remember in his past, of his lost memories.it's only her face that flashes in his mind that he could remember. The other prominent personalities linked with him like Shi-shi-o and Himura, matters less and not even that much to him. Nevetheless, he is drawn to this young woman who needs someone and in turn, he also need hers.  
  
"If the baby turns out not to look like Misao," Okina said dourly, not very pleased of the warm reception of the ex-slasher. ".we could possibly guess who the father is."  
  
".by looking at the physical resemblance?" "DEPENDS how strong the resemblance is."  
  
"Grandpa stop it," Misao said tersely, although she understood that Okina is doing his duty to avenge her and catch the criminal, she could tell that he is sometimes going a little to far. "I want to forget as much as possible what happened already, I want to move on."  
  
"But my little angel.you can't just let who ever or WHAT ever have done this to you get away with it." he said, ".he did not only ruin your life, but he also took Aoshi's!"  
  
"Aoshi took his own life because he can't take the guilt anymore!" she countered, the small spark of flame in her somehow starting to grow bigger. "Don't you see, THAT is what the bastard wanted! He wanted me to suffer, and he wanted for me to be so miserable.that like Aoshi, I would destroy my own!! And I won't let that happen!"  
  
The other oni's hushed in silence, as if to agree with her. She may be right, it's after all pointless to look for a faceless man who committed a near perfect crime, and it's best that one must move on. She must have thought it over what happened last night, that what she was about to do was stupid.and haven't for Soujiro to come and rescue her.  
  
Okina couldn't take it any more, he has to tell her the truth. "Aoshi didn't kill himself Misao. You know he is never capable of doing such a cowardice act."  
  
"You and Sanosuke thinks that is the case," she muttered  
  
"Afraid so, Sanosuke is right. Someone faked the way Aoshi died to make it look like suicide."  
  
"WHAT?!" the others gasped in unison, "Anou.what makes you say that?"  
  
Okina brought out the supposedly note, and showed it to them. He pointed out, ".if you perfectly look at the table it looks like Aoshi did signed his own letter."  
  
"It IS aoshi's letter, it's his handwriting and all." One of them quipped,  
  
"Not quite, here is the trick you see." Okina lifted it towards the light outside, for everyone to see. "Observe."  
  
And true enough, they noticed what they haven't seen before. The light make some parts visible and they noticed little pin pricks in arches and curves that followed the pattern of Aoshi's handwriting. "THAT, I say.is someone trying to imitate Aoshi's handwriting."  
  
"Clever and devious." one of them gaped, "but in order to imitate Aoshi's writing they need a copy."  
  
"Correct, did you see what we are getting to?" Okina implied, "the one who did it, have planned this so well. He or she might have gotten an access to our residence somehow and knew of Aoshi's belongings.thus getting samples of his work. He/she must have used that as a basis to trace the characters to this present letter to make it look like he did write this. The pin pricks are so small that it couldn't just be seen by a naked eye." He looked at Misao, there is a mixture of disbelief and anger to her expression.not knowing what to believe,  
  
"Misao, you don't have to let it go that easily.we are not dealing with a lustful wrench here, but a manipulative, systematic and a devious madman.it's better for your own good, that not to easily let your guard down. Who knows what other plans he has in store for us? "  
  
"Like I said.He wants me to be miserable, and I won't let him!" she snaps back, at loss of words. Somehow, the new revelation have disturbed her but Okina felt a little dab of relief to see Misao much determined unlike those past few days. She is starting to undergo a process of slow recovery, and her being strong spirited is starting to emerge at last. But if she became determined fully of herself, he fears that she will neglect little things that might lead to another mishap. She gave them a pout, and exclaimed she needs a breath of fresh air to ease her thoughts, and drags Soujiro alongside with her.  
  
"You," Okina signaled one of the oni's. "In any case, be on guard. Even if Soujiro seems rather harmless these days, it's better to be on the watch." 


	9. The Force that Binds

Part nine: The force that binds  
  
  
  
As months passes by.  
  
It's good that even with Okina's precautions, nothing happened. Like an aftermath of a storm, days peacefully passed by went to weeks, and then months. Soujiro came to live with them as a family, for Misao have grown on to like him ever since.and is now a source of her happiness. He have to agree, Soujiro and Misao were almost of rather the same age.and yet they both lived contrasting lives, even their behavior where opposites. Misao raged easily and could get a little stubborn and Soujiro has a much more mature and calm disposition. Maybe that is what makes them attract to each other. Probably, also Soujiro's amnesia could have helped.even though he can't help but think if the memory loss and Misao's accident is just merely a coincidence. And if Soujiro remembers, would it help them resolve their problems?  
  
"Young one's indeed, it's so amusing to see them fall in love." one of the oni's sighed, carrying a basketful of fruits into the residence. True enough, what Okina dismissed as a desperate notion of Misao seems more than that.she developed a blooming relationship with the young ronin that saved her life, twice. What seems to start as a casual get-to-know each other slowly develops to a mutual relationship, and Okina could see it into their eyes the unusual glow that sparked every time their eyes would meet. He has to admit, the relationship is even adding color to Misao's cheeks.  
  
"They are starting to get a little too close already," he tartly remarked, Soujiro and Misao where resting underneath by a cherry blossom tree.and now its nearing winter, it is beautiful to watch the pale pinkish white petals fall down the ground. Soujiro, having only worn one item when he went to their household, is now wearing a teal gray kimono and making him look mature of age. He was wistfully braiding on Misao's hair, on which is already starting to grow back and is now below her shoulders. She is meanwhile, restricted now to wear a much traditional longer kimono.since her stomach has considerable swelled, now at least almost 6 months. Okina felt a rush of steam come out of his ears, as he hears Misao's soft giggle as Soujiro place an ear and strokes down her stomach with one hand, and giving it a soft kiss.  
  
"You know master.that child is going to need an Otousan, I think it's good that."  
  
"Bah! He does not even recall his own memories, how could he do justice as a father?" It's obvious that the old man is growing jealous, and although he have grown a liking for the boy amid some suspicions he have no proof of, he is afraid to let go of Misao.not to mention for what happened. Her growing stomach is an indication of WHAT happened that past few months, a painful reminder.and it would be hard for him to consent another man in Misao's life.  
  
The oni lift an eyebrow at Okina's statement, "Because it WOULDN'T be a good idea for her to know the real father was?" bending over and giving the old man some tea, she continued. ".besides, master.even with or without Soujiro's loss of memory, I don't see any possible threat now. Then why did Kenshin let him escape some year ago? Because he believed the lad could change." "I think you are right there." he sighed warily; Misao didn't know that Soujiro did lose some memory. It would confuse her again. ".but for the love of Buddha! What they are doing in the front lawn could make anyone squirm!"  
  
"They are not doing it in public, master. Besides, it's natural for lovers."  
  
Okina took himself another serving of tea  
  
  
  
"Well, I'm here now.I wonder what the rush.is"  
  
Sanosuke mumbled, he finally reached Kyoto at last.and by foot. He finds it hard to believe that his money quickly ran out at the so many stopovers in the eateries these past few days. Ignoring Kaoru's advice to take a train, to which he TOTALLY dislikes even though it's much cheaper and.the fact he could reach his destination in less than an hour.  
  
A few days ago, Okina send one of the messengers to Tokyo (formerly Edo) to deliver an urgent message to him, and to report on the "shocking discovery". It stunned everyone at first, for Okina would usually send reports to Kenshin, and suddenly he trusted the much single-minded, bumbling comrade instead. What they don't know is, Sanosuke have the same line of suspicion Okina has on the incident that involved Misao and Aoshi, thus for the two to cooperate. Yahiko objected that the letter must be addressed to the wrong person, and Megumi wondered if the old man has finally lost its wits, but whatever it is they think of.Okina requested strictly that Sanosuke has to come ALONE.  
  
"What you will see and learn might shock you, although some things have changed for the better and that Misao have learned to move on.there are event's you couldn't find hard to believe and I quickly anticipate your presence immediately." The more Sanosuke read the note, the more it leaves him scratching his head. Okina could have send Kenshin instead, being the much logical one. But as far as he knows, even Kenshin wouldn't believe about the mysterious circumstances of Aoshi's death...so leaving him the next man to do the job.  
  
"I wonder if he means it would be bad news or good news?" he said, scratching his head again. He is just a few meters away from the place and he could spot the crowning cherry blossoms already. The cold air starts to be obvious around him, and he almost forgot how time passes by quickly. "Winter time is near already." he muttered, not knowing if he'll smile or not as he takes to inhale of air. "Oh great, I also need a bath, I'm starting to smell."  
  
Sanosuke don't have to wait to know the good or bad news is, as he made his way to the entrance, he accidentally knocked down on a small figure rushing to the other direction. He quickly eyed the small woman, which seems a little round in the middle and could not stand up. "Hey lady, you need to lose weight or something so you can stand up."  
  
"I'm not FAT!!!" came the burst of the sudden screechy similar voice, he inspects closer at the small stumbled figure who awkwardly to her feet, dusting her kimono. She has a familiar black hair, "I am pregnant! Can't you see?" her face lifted up and he saw the spark of those emerald green eyes. Sanosuke gaped, his mouth dropped and his eyes bulged like saucers on the recognition.  
  
"MISAO?" he sputtered,  
  
Misao looked up upon surprise hearing her name being called, "Sanosuke?!" she also gaped, "Sano, it's you!"  
  
It seems Misao is eager to impart and to talk about the old times, but Sanosuke is as still as a stone and his eyes are affixed at the inflated belly as just he was attentive to listen to about anything. As if knowing those look from his eyes, Misao readily replied. "I know it's a surprise.I don't even see it coming."  
  
Sanosuke, who can't still find the words to speak, tries to make hand symbols instead.and is pointing to her stomach. ".it's from him, from that night I wish to forget."  
  
Sanosuke remembered how enraged he was to the despicable deed that have befallen on her several months ago, and to make it worse that deed is hatching its fruit. He quickly managed to get over his shock, to be replaced by a heated anger to who did it.so furious he feels, that he could smack the first live male to fawn on Misao right now. He managed to blurt out some words. ".you don't have any idea on who the father could possibly be?"  
  
Before she could answer, approached a grey garbed figure, it is Soujiro. There is sweetness in him, which could make her heart melt. For some reason, he became even more caring and attentive of Misao during her early stages of pregnancy. She tried to cheer her up if she gets depressed or she has those moody tantrums, and if she has food cravings, he quickly appeases it without question. He starts to become more than a friend, and the feeling became increasingly more mutual. He will make a great father to her growing unborn child.  
  
"Ne, Misao!" he called out, and Sanosuke who is already seeing red automatically greeted the youth who has a friendly smile, with a smack at the jaw.  
  
"Sano!!" Misao shouted, as the shocked Soujiro fall down to the ground. "What the hell do you do that for?!" and she quickly rushed to Soujiro's aid, taking a look if he is okay.to which he nodded in reply. "No broken jaw," Soujiro squeaked, trying to dismiss everything is going to be okay. But Misao is less complacent, that she slaps Sanosuke across the face. "What are you thinking?!" she demanded,  
  
Sanosuke was even surprised why he did that. Is it because the need to protect her? That the lad that seems to be so sweet is a former enemy he couldn't trust to, like a wolf in sheep's clothing? He has many reasons. And he bet, he wasn't just being jealous.  
  
"He isn't the father of the child, okay? It is not what you think it is!"  
  
"But why him? What is he doing here?" he asked, "I know you met him only for once, but that does."  
  
"We met twice, and twice he saved my life! I owe Soujiro a lot more than what you think!" Misao said, her face is starting to grow a little red and Soujiro does not like it.  
  
"Misao, it's not good for you to get a."  
  
"Hey! What about me, I was there! Don't you think I also tried to help you too before? You pleaded to me too remember? To help you out? " Sanosuke argued, and it somehow silenced Misao.not knowing it's a good or bad sign.  
  
".So are you saying that you are jealous?"  
  
"I am NOT jealous! I just don't trust at the mere sight of him!" the argument could have went on further, but Misao felt a twist and a kick at her stomach that leaved her stopping abruptly and swallowing some air. "M- Misao! Are you okay?"  
  
"It's not good for her to get upset easily," Soujiro replied, "it might lead her to an early premature labor." And carefully he starts to assist her inside. Sanosuke marveled that how Soujiro ignored his brash attitude and look to the situation as if nothing happened.as if he recalls nothing. Wasn't he even intimidated at the sight of a former enemy?  
  
"Come, Master Okina is waiting for you inside."  
  
  
  
"The truth is, he didn't recall anything."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Okina can understand why Sanosuke is being very overwhelmed with the current situation, and he can't blame him. Seeing Misao pregnant, then seeing her being intimately close with Soujiro, then hearing Soujiro having lost his memory. He gave him a very long talk, to explain everything.hoping that he somehow will understood.  
  
"So what does these have to get about the latest development to track the bastard down?" Sanosuke asked eagerly, he knows he might have missed something.but he pay attentively to notice that Okina didn't left any detail. Maybe he is sparing him to some more shocking news.  
  
"I think that bastard even lived in our house."  
  
Sanosuke gave him a quizzical look, "Yes I know, and why did I even agreed to have him live here." Okina replied, ".like Misao said, she owed the young man a lot. Their first encounter is a good one.even with the loss of memory, that fragment of the past is what Soujiro still recalls.BUT..."  
  
"But what?" "I think I have made some discoveries that will doubt his credibility." the old man brought out the same old evidence, the tattered sleeve and the suicide note to which he promised to keep. "Sanosuke, when you learn on what happened to Misao.when was that night she told you that happened?"  
  
"I think it's around Monday night, half a year ago almost."  
  
"Okay," the old man nodded, "I asked Soujiro how he lost his memory, and I think it is more than of a coincidence." he signaled Sanosuke to move closer so the others won't hear what they are saying. "Soujiro said that he woke up lost of memory in the same week, Tuesday morning.he had no recollection of Monday night.or any day before that either."  
  
"And what are we getting here?" Sanosuke whispered, "I cannot see your point!"  
  
Okina looked around before turning back to him, ".he found himself within the forest where Misao have been that night. When he first came here he was wearing that blue kimono."  
  
"Of course he does, that is the only thing he used to wear!"  
  
"But with a torn sleeve, by the right." He spoke, and Sanosuke's face became pallid as if the conclusion hits him right on the spot. "I tried to link the piece with his sleeve, and it's almost the exact match," Okina continued, "I even confronted him about that matter, but to be honest.he does not recall anything.or even doing of such a thing.and I can see he is telling the truth."  
  
"It is so near and yet so far," Sanosuke said coldly, ".if he did finally get his memories back, maybe we will know the answer."  
  
"Yes and only time would tell."  
  
Okina proceeds to tell even the mystery of the supposedly suicide note, and that they have initially concluded that their hunches is right. Not knowing if this is the doing of the same person, or if this is another distraction, Sanosuke suggested warily that it would be better if they have more security within the household. That they are dealing with a very clever, systematic enemy. But it's been half a year already and there seems no more signs of possible attack. It seemed to have mysteriously ceased, as it have come.  
  
"We could never know when the devil would strike back, but I suggested that we should be much careful watch on Misao."  
  
"She has Soujiro to do that, as of now." Okina noted, indeed the two were so inseparable. Maybe if Soujiro didn't come that fateful day, Misao could have lost all hope and kill herself.or that even if she lives she would be bitter carrying the child, but the young ronin came and have influenced her greatly even though he didn't speak much. His consistent presence shows, occasionally speaking few yet poignant statements.attending to her needs. Maybe it's better off without much of his memory.  
  
"Sanosuke, you wouldn't mind staying for a few months time.would you? Just to observe? "  
  
  
  
"I hope it's going to be a boy."  
  
"No, I want it to be a girl! Boys have much more trouble than little girls!"  
  
Misao and Soujiro are playfully bantering by the small bedroom, she was relaxing inside after getting strained with a short argument with Sanosuke, and Soujiro is lazily lying down beside her idly stroking her belly. It is quite a difficult pregnancy to go with, and her first few months are terrible, she was very weepy and throws a lot of tantrums which are natural for the mothers-to-be.aside from the reason she get pregnant because of the rape. She has grown to accept the terms already.  
  
"It's not the child's fault, Misao. Whoever did this is HIS fault. The baby has nothing to do with this." She recalled Soujiro saying it repeatedly to her time and time, when there are moments she was so unsure of herself. "You don't want to whoever did this, win, won't you?"  
  
"Of course, I won't let him!" she objected, "But.the child, he will never have a father!"  
  
"Then I will be a father for that child, I will the best father he would ever have."  
  
"Soujiro."  
  
His care, his utterly devotion.she felt in love with him that in an instant, his compassion for her grew.that is probably the night they ended their friendship, to start a new relationship.  
  
"Don't you think its better that we get married?"  
  
Misao popped out of her reverie when Soujiro brought up the question, he was looking above her with those eyes, waiting. "I know it's all of a sudden.but it's also best, for the baby's future,"  
  
".and our future?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so too."  
  
".I think Grandpa wouldn't easily agree with it." She said, and she tries to sit up. she find it more and more difficult to move now she's in her 6th term. "No, I don't think it has something to do with who you are before.because all of that is in the past, ne?"  
  
"Yes, all of them are the past." he whispered, even though he didn't recall much of what his past really is. When he was find nameless in the forest one day, he is intrigued on who he really is and knowing who he was. But when a few pieces of his memory is awakened, of the skills he never knew he was good at.he have his doubt. He felt that if he go back and learn his past, nothing will fill him but dread. When the kindly mother, Osei, managed to get some of his files.his dread became a reality. He does not want to live that past anymore, its better not to remember anything and have a new life. It seems a blessing in disguise, even though he was intrigued what caused it. Does his loss of memory is due to an attack? An accident? The only thing he recalls, aside from his skills is the image of Misao. She is the only link, and yearns him to recall some of the past.maybe the moment how they met.and WHY they met. Right now, he clings to the only person that is a piece left of his memory.and learned how to cherish her.  
  
"It's the baby, Soujiro.Grandpa have a talk with a doctor, it is not going to be an easy pregnancy for me." she is somehow right, Misao is suffering to occasional pain pangs that are too little early to show, so maybe it's better to look for her well-being besides that thought of marriage. " We know this is my first time, and my body is not that used to it and..a little upset situation could lead to a premature labor."  
  
"Okay, I understand." he said soothingly, and that's what Misao liked in him. Soujiro could easily accept thing without a grudge, and he has been treating her like a queen. Besides, next to Okina.Soujiro is the most regular presence she sees around her. "How about a good night kiss, to help you feel a little better?"  
  
Misao softly chuckled and lightly threw one of the cushioned pillows to his face, "Sou-chan no baka, it's not even night time yet.."  
  
Soujiro planted a small kiss to her forehead, on which she returned a soft giggle, feeling a little ticklish on the sensation.her girlish laughs are like music to his ears. This is my life, he said to himself. This is what I would like it to be, to have a family.  
  
Sanosuke's ears pricked up at the sound of sweet murmurs and giggling emanating at the room across the corner, while he was unpacking his things. His body is dead tired from the travel, and what seems a few days stay would be much longer. Not that he does not like it, for he would get a lot of free food and relaxation that he didn't have much back in Kaoru's place in Tokyo. Having only solely to his mind right now is to rest, he can't help but get a slight chill on the spine when he hear the ticklish sounds, and it seems to come from Misao's room.  
  
Curious, Sanosuke crawled silently to the floor to the room across. He never hears Misao giggle before, not that last time he saw her. And it seems she is not alone in the room. He saw two shadows at the screen door, and one figure is creeping close to the top of her. He covers his mouth to restrain in making any shocked gasp, as he learned who the other person is.  
  
"That tickles, Sou-chan! Stop it!"  
  
Sanosuke could feel the hair on the back of his neck prickle, as he heard the small wet chu sounds. He force his eyes to look at screen 100 percent as if it got an x-ray vision, and he could make out that Soujiro is kissing Misao lightly and slowly.to the forehead, and slowly down teasingly to her lips. He could hear small soft eager and much more passionate returning of kisses, and feel a shot of rush to his face when he could hear one of them murmur, "mmmm."  
  
"STOP THAT!" he yelled, finally not able to contain himself, he barged the screen door wide open. He glared at stunned Soujiro who tumbled down the floor, "You there! What do you think you are doing?"  
  
Soujiro looked to Misao, and both lovers look like nothing much happened.only a bit disappointed by Sanosuke's sudden interruption. "Ummm.nothing much, Sanosuke.why do you ask?"  
  
The escalating noise has now caught almost everyone else attention inside the house to hear, "Nothing much? NOTHING MUCH? You are in a prelude in making out that would make even Aoshi turn from his grave!"  
  
"You where listening?" Misao eyed him; surely no one knows what they would be doing. The screen door was closed, and they tried to be discreet.besides, Okina told her that he does not agree seeing them sweet in public.  
  
Sanosuke feels his face turn red; he is poor in excuses as he was in his control of his temperament. "NO! I'm not listening.I heard it across the room." but Misao has the undeniable stare, "Alright! So I was listening! I can't help it.hearing you together.doing it gives me the creeps! "  
  
"We can't do it Sanosuke, she's pregnant." Soujiro said, reasoning out.  
  
"Oh yeah! But kissing is already close to making out!" he grunted, grabbing the boy's collar. Everyone now in the household seems to be near, watching in curiosity as Sanosuke starts to pour out some steam, and with the breath of murder in his eyes as he looked at the wide- eyed Soujiro in front of him. Misao is patiently scolding him to let Soujiro down, since she can't budge much herself. When he saw that most of the oni's seemed to have gathered, Sanosuke finally talked.  
  
"Do you permit them to do this? Do you guys know what is going on?"  
  
"Yeah, it's a natural event that goes everyday," one of them quipped, and returned to the chore. Others agreed, and shrugged and also moved back about their business. "H-hey! Don't you see it?!"  
  
"Soujiro is like family now, Sanosuke.he has been here for half a year, and nothing happened." One of them managed to reply, before taking a leave. " And he did a lot for Misao's happiness."  
  
Oh great, the whole household knows about it and they seemed to have grown accustomed to Soujiro's presence, making it seemingly okay. When he reported it to Okina, the old man seems to have a mixture of a torn expression not knowing which to side on. He explained to Sanosuke that he will grow to like the idea, especially if he himself was there during those 6 months. To him, the happiness of his little angel is very much important right now.even though he has his share of his suspicions. He even feels uncomfortable of Soujiro being too close, sometimes taking him longer in Misao's room rather than his own. As if reading Sanosuke's mind, he lightly suggested that he could sleep in Misao's room if he wants to be really sure. On which Sanosuke really did.  
  
  
  
"Ohayo, Okina-san.I'm going to go out and get some groceries." Soujiro greeted, taking one of the routine tasks the oni's usually does in mornings. Okina greeted him with his usual dour expression and a grunt then silently nodded. At least the boy willingly let himself do some manual tasks around the house, unlike Sanosuke who is supposed to be awake by now.  
  
"Where is Sanosuke? I tasked him to do that errand." He said curtly, giving Soujiro a probing look.  
  
"I'm afraid he is still fast asleep, he haven't a wink ever since of last night."  
  
Okina imagined why, and try to conjure a vivid image of Sanosuke with his eyes forced open like a vulture waiting for it's prey to fall as Soujiro slept in the room with Misao. Even though there are three separate cots, and Soujiro a few feet await from her. He can imagine now that Sanosuke is dead tired from all that.  
  
"Okay, just be back shortly before noon."  
  
"Hai."  
  
Soujiro took a stop first to some stalls before going to the market to buy some goods, thinking of the things Misao would be needing for the baby. That's why he volunteered to do the groceries, so he could surprise her. "What she needs is some one to look after her, to go through the rough times." he said to himself, as he absentmindedly looked upon some goods near the alley.  
  
"Who, Misao? Glad to hear it, now wonder I haven't heard from you for months." A voice coming from behind alarmed him, and he quickly turned around. The figure is that of a young lanky man, dressed the similar style that he has, and is leaning casually by the wall. He couldn't recall meeting him, who happens to sport a short and sharp gray hair and has brown eyes. The face does not seem to ring a bell,  
  
"Pardon me, but do I know you?"  
  
The man let out a small laugh, seemingly a bit gentle to sound like that of a woman. He eyed Soujiro head to toe, noting that the different color of the material he is wearing seems so impressive. "I can't believe you forgot! Do you know that I have to change the way I look so I can keep up with my duty as of some spy? You still recognize me even with this get up, Soujiro!"  
  
He sounds like an old friend, and Soujiro cannot explain that he lost his memory. He tried to picture the stranger in front of him at the many presented faces shown in his file. "K-Kamatari? Hojoun Kamatari?"  
  
"Glad that you still remember! I thought you have amnesia or something." he gave him a mock punch by the shoulder as a friendly gesture. "So, what took you so long.it has been months! You haven't paid the amount you promised in exchange of what I do to Aoshi."  
  
It's like listening to another language, "Anou.what do you mean, of Aoshi? He is dead."  
  
Kamatari lifted an eyebrow, and looked around. He didn't know if Soujiro is playing dumb or it sounds like he does not know anything. So he dragged him lightly to the corner of the alley, "Hey! What is going on?"  
  
"What's wrong with you, Soujiro?" he hissed, ".are you playing dumb? You told me that in return to faking Aoshi's suicide, I'll get some hefty sum from you! So where is it?"  
  
Soujiro felt like his head would spin, suddenly this person in his past came about and telling him he is linked to a crime, to which he didn't really remember.he can't even recall why would he kill Aoshi.  
  
" I- I don't know what you are talking about,"  
  
"Screw that shit!" Kamatari snarled, pinning the boy to the wall, "You planned this all out and you didn't remember anything? Who conjured up your idea of that fake suicide note, and having him hanged to look it as suicide? It was me! You have Misao already! "  
  
"How do you know of Misao?" he replied indignantly, shoving off Kamatari's one firm hand off his shoulder.  
  
"You told me how you liked her very much, and how desperate you are to have her." Kamatari replied, "Look, I don't know why the HECK you don't remember anything, but I'm in the business now. so I'll be back again for you in my spare time."  
  
"I DO like her, I'm with her family now.she's happy with me."  
  
Kamatari gaped at surprise, and a wicked smile curved his lips ".you devious little devil you, it go figure that she didn't see you in the dark! You probably showed up your ass when she is so feeling traumatized and miserable.added to that is Aoshi's death! It's natural for her to fawn to the next man to show her attention.and whaddya know? If life ain't grand, you found yourself a family.even the old wrinkle of a man called Okina got to trust you. It's a very clever trick you got in your sleeve there."  
  
Soujiro feels rage boiling from within him, what is this man talking about? It is true he showed up the moment Misao needed someone to hang on to. But he made it sound malicious, as if he orchestrated the whole event, "I don't know what you are talking about, If you do anything to Misao and the baby she is carrying I would."  
  
His blood run cold as there is glint of sinister delight to Kamatari's brown eyes, then there was a sudden rush of commotion from outside before both could speak. "Shimatta, it's back to business.the enemies are after me again." and he turns back to Soujiro, " I don't know you even got to sire that squeaky bitch, Soujiro.congratulations!" he added with a wink, and quickly disappeared to run to the streets and merging with the swift moving crowd.  
  
He stood there in the alley, with his mouth still open with shock and his eye's staring into puzzled blankness.something about all those words said to him is taking an effect. His breathing became shallow and quick, and his body starts to be shaking.and everything seems to be in vertigo. He is starting to feel that dread again, and any minute now.he might even faint.  
  
".I-I'm the father?"  
  
And the light white icy particles starts to fell as the cold crisp wind answers in a long mournful howling, going akin to Soujiro's sudden confusion on his plight. The autumn is finally over, it is winter. 


	10. The Haunted

Part ten: The haunted  
  
  
  
Soujiro hardly felt the cold snow drifting to his skin as he made his way absentmindedly doing groceries; the words of Kamatari send chills to his spine. Did he do all that? He sired the child Misao is carrying? He plotted Aoshi's fake suicide? They say that even a person loses his memory; there is a feeling within them to hint of what it was before. But Soujiro feels nothing; he can't imagine doing such a horrible act. No lustful intentions or murderous thoughts crossed his mind when he resided in the household. The man that talked to him, he didn't know if he'll ever want to meet him again. Kamatari, he is a part of the old past.a past that he left. But deep inside, is there really truth to his words?  
  
Just as he was trekking to the street near the way home, carrying baskets of goods, he spotted a familiar figure of a certain lady. The pale skin stands out from a distance, and when she turned around, she has immensely doe shaped like eyes.  
  
"Yuri!" came out like a short gasp, rather than a much audible word of recognition. Yuri waves to him and approached him. "Ohayo, Soujiro! It's so nice to see you looking so well!" she chirped, noting that he grew quite healthy for sometime. She eagerly starts a conversation, but Soujiro seems wary of listening. Misao have seen them in a distance, and she curiously approached them.  
  
"Ne, Soujiro! There you are!" Misao called out, smiling brightly as she took quick steps to draw near her koibito, her smile slowly faded on the sight of the young lady with him.  
  
"Oh, Misao. this is Yuri" he said, not knowing how to explain. But Yuri came to his "rescue".  
  
"Misao? Makamachi Misao?" her large eyes looked on her with curiosity from head to toe. Misao is not used when people looked at her that way, wondering how her small frame could take such a pregnancy. "Yes, what happen if I am?"  
  
The girl clapped her hands with childish delight that lifts an air of curiosity around them. "I don't believe it! I don't know Sou-chan have you as a wife and you are having a baby!" the comment is just about to make Soujiro ricochet, "Yuri!! She is not my wife!" his face as red as a tomato, and looking at Misao, her expression is not pleased at all.  
  
She is the only woman who could call him Sou-chan.  
  
"Well, sooner or later IM going to be his wife." she said out loud, crossing her arms. But it didn't dampen Yuri's excitement. "Hold it. you mean you two are not yet married, and already having a baby?"  
  
Misao thinks she is going to snap, she clutched possessively at Soujiro by the sleeve," That's none of your business! Who are you anyway?"  
  
"I'm Yamamoto Yuri, I rescued Soujiro from the forest clearing some several months ago.didn't he tell you anything?"  
  
What happened to Soujiro in a forest? Misao wondered, "No. What do you mean you rescued him by the forest? He could every much take care of himself! "  
  
Yuri shook her head, "Iya, I found him by the clearing here at Kyoto.he have somehow lost his memory then. So I and my mother took him until he is fine to go." Misao shuddered when she recalled that certain clearing by Kyoto, it is also where that fateful night she lost her maiden head. She looked at Soujiro, who's expression seems to play a little of confusion and distress. "What is she talking about Soujiro? Is it true?"  
  
"Yes it's true, I was found by the clearing and lost of memory," he replied. By all means, he didn't want Misao to know of it. He didn't want her to have doubts in him, and when he thought the loss of his memory and the rape incident is all a coincidence.a man claiming to be Kamatari came up and blurred that definition. ".but I regained it, when that day I saved you Misao." he lied, for both of their own good. What he called memory now, is having the intense study in the files given to him.  
  
Misao nodded, "Okay.so why don't you tell me about it before?"  
  
Soujiro gave her a quick peck to the forehead, "Because I don't want you to worry." He forced a faint smile, and quickly headed back to the residence like someone stung him from behind. It's rather unusual for him to leave in a middle of a conversation, and when Misao called out what's wrong; Soujiro told her he is not feeling well. His head is starting to throb immensely painful again, which happens when he is stressed to trying to recall the past.  
  
Misao turned back to Yuri again, ".you say he lost his memory?"  
  
  
  
"You're a little late." Okina noticed that the boy seems a little quite pale. "What's wrong? Looks like you are a little bit shaken."  
  
"It's nothing," Soujiro murmured, "I'm just..surprised,"  
  
The old man peeked out the doorway, and sees his Misao talking with a young lady. "That lady surprised you?"  
  
"She is the woman that found me at the woods, the one who found me lost of memory..she managed to pass by, and it surprised me."  
  
"And you did not want Misao to know, so she won't be confused am I right?"  
  
Soujiro avoided eye contact, "I managed to tell the half-truth ahead, but I still worry about it."  
  
Okina cleared his throat and shrugged, "You can't keep secrets forever Soujiro, someday such secret would come out and risks could not be avoided." He then silently walked towards another room, taking in the groceries that Soujiro dropped by absentmindedly at the porch. The youth looked up, and turned to him, now few feet in distance. "Okina-san.you still doesn't trust me.do you?"  
  
"I rely on you for Misao's happiness. But complete trust is another talk, young man. As soon as your memories come back, that would be the answer."  
  
  
  
His memories..  
  
Sanosuke woke up later that noon, but right in time enough for lunch. He chows down voraciously as always, while the oniwabanshu's are simply astounded by his appetite. Okina keeps his usual silence as he eats, and Misao is asking questions on Soujiro's recollection with Yuri. In between mouthfuls, Sanosuke can't help but notice Soujiro's sudden stillness.as if nothing is around him and was into deep thought. Soujiro usually don't speak much, but this time it's different. He seems to be like a mannequin, having an unreadable expression written on his face. It disturbs him a little, but much take-able than the sugary exchange of affections that he have seen yesterday.  
  
"Who conjure up the idea of yours of the fake suicide note and Aoshi's death? It was me, Soujiro!" the man who claimed to be kamatari, his voice ringing within Soujiro's head.speaking of the past he believed he didn't do.  
  
No.I didn't do this, I cannot be capable of.  
  
"You told me how you liked her very much, and how desperate you are to have her."  
  
I know I knew her in my blank forgotten past, a fragment that was left.  
  
"I don't know you even got to sire that squeaky bitch, Soujiro.congratulations!"  
  
I didn't do it!!!  
  
"Oh my, it just moved!" Misao gasped, somehow returning Soujiro's state of mind to the present. His sensitivity to Misao's pregnancy has become a reflex on him these days, "The baby?"  
  
"Yes, the baby.go ahead, touch it."  
  
He usually holds no qualms, and will stroke her stomach as so, acknowledging the little child nestled inside. But now, doubt and a tingle of fear and distaste seem to engulf him, thinking that if Kamatari's words are true and Misao is indeed carrying his child. He somehow retains his composure, and brushed his hand against it. He felt a kick, and then another.  
  
"I-It kicked," he muttered. Instead of what seem to be a joyous tone, he reacted like his hand was scalded with hot water. Misao quickly took note of it, "Of course it kicks, I think it likes you.to be his father. Aren't you happy? It is like you always wanted."  
  
"I think I need to go."  
  
A wave of nausea went to Soujiro's head, and he solemnly excused himself in front of everyone, as soon as he was out he rushed quickly to the nearest bath room, and dipped his face at a basinful of water to ease his urge to throw up. The encounter with Kamatari have turned his now well-ordered universe upside down, everything that he builds for those past months he looks now with dread and full of questions. He don't know who to believe, he don't know what to believe. How can he know that the scoundrel is telling the truth?  
  
"There is no proof," he whispered, "Tsk, I'm being paranoid.." He rolled up his sleeves, that he now got soaking wet, and he look at his arm protectors. They are like second skin to him, and he always wears them but they are also very uncomfortable, and quite damp as of now. He hesitated to take them off at first, for his right arm has a hideous scar. He looked on it with disgust, like some fierce animal have clawed him so deep that might also have ripped a part of the sleeve of his old kimono. Well of course, the pain that must have been there might have not induced him a memory loss.  
  
Yet, a torn kimono sleeve.  
  
He recalled Okina confronting him about it, about his missing sleeve and how it seems to fit the torn piece of evidence that is the link to the suspect on Misao's case. That he told him, that she could have clawed the faceless marauder in defense and have torn it off the process and it might have somehow leaved a scar in the arm..and he has that scar. He was found unconscious at the same woods Misao escaped with her life, When he waked up dazed.the first thing that come to his senses was the seething pain to his right arm, and he does not know how on earth it get underneath his arm protectors, "It's all a bloody coincidence," he muttered, trying to recall no more. He touches his three deep scars, and he can imagine the pain that seared before at his flesh, and a sudden flash of image came to his mind.not knowing if what appeared is his imagination or a part of his recollection: There he sees himself, his arms pressing down the struggling Misao at the ground, then came her one hand, tightly gripping to his right and she pulls it so hard that his sleeve tore off and the pain burned to his skin to the raw and blood trickled to the wound.  
  
He then gasped, trying to catch his breath, sudden overwhelming emotion made his heart thump in abject fear, like awakening from a terrible dream. Soujiro felt as if the pain was real, and he felt dazed with shock, "No.I didn't do it! It's just my imagination!"  
  
"Soujiro! Are you alright? You have been there for several minutes; your food is getting cold!" One of the oni's called out.  
  
"Y-Yes! I'm coming." He called out, and his mind races quickly. He didn't want to see that hideous scar, and more or less others to see it. He took out a bandage at the near drawer and bounded his arm. With his sleeves still rolled up and dripping wet, he made himself way back to the table. Everyone gave him a look wondering what he did at the bathroom, "Looks like you have fallen face down to a stream," one of them commented, intended as a light jest.  
  
"I just have to wash my face, I felt a little dizzy awhile ago." He said, in a somehow detached tone but managed to flash a small smile. "But I'm okay now, so is there anything I have missed?"  
  
"Yeah," Sanosuke eyed him, while nibbling the fishbone from the meal. "Misao and I are talking about this young lady awhile ago, who SAID she found you lost of memory." He shouldn't have asked. Soujiro looked at Misao, and she has this quizzical look at her face, as if a bit disappointed of keeping a little secret from her. Sanosuke is obviously enjoying this, like Okina, he has healthy suspicions on him, and he is just about to say or do anything to prove his doubtful credibility.  
  
"Yes I did," he replied curtly without looking up, "I woke up from the forest clearing.and the girl found me from there."  
  
"What are you doing at the forest, Soujiro? Running away from someone.hiding away from something?" It irritates Soujiro to see Sanosuke with a malicious grin to his face, "No. I don't remember anything from there, sorry."  
  
"Isn't it strange Soujiro?" Misao finally speaks up, ".you are found at the same forest, the morning after, on which I was."  
  
"You don't have to recall it Misao." He admonished gently. It's better not to recall anything that doesn't seem good either, he thought. And that is what he felt now.  
  
"How do you then recall your memory?" Sanosuke insisted, he knew that everyone with the exception of Misao knows that Soujiro has some memory loss and that he hadn't RECALLED anything.it's purely studying any proof of paper that claims his existence.not from his point of view, not personally himself. No one wants to see Misao get upset, so none have told her.  
  
And he wants her to know the truth  
  
"It's when the day I saved Misao from jumping off a cliff, the flashes of our brief encounter flooded back.and so is the rest of my memory." At least it seems, Misao is satisfied with the explanation, he nodded to her direction and she acknowledged it with a sweet smile.  
  
"Tell her the truth, you ass." Sanosuke muttered, clenching his fists.  
  
"That's enough, Sanosuke." Okina intervened. If he didn't, Sanosuke would create a commotion again, like last time at Misao's room. "Soujiro is telling the truth, you don't have to force him with anything else."  
  
He opened his mouth in protest, but Okina waved his hand. "No too much talk now, Sanosuke." and everyone agreed. Well almost, for Soujiro is staring in wide surprise to the old man. He saved him from Sanosuke's wrath. As if reading his mind, Okina nodded to him with a slight smile, "No need to thank me, young man. You needed it."  
  
That early afternoon-  
  
"Don't fancy about it dear, he wouldn't come out if he didn't want to. 'Sides, he worked hard to attain this peaceful life he always wants--- a picture perfect family."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
Yuri is becoming wary of the strange man who suddenly comes up and starts talking with her, she left in few minutes after conversing with Misao.and has been watching the serene gentle wind making a wonderful sight of the falling leaves of the cherry blossoms. The thin white blankets of snow is starting to envelop the ground, and it's starting to give chill to the air.which made her sigh and stare at the residence in awe and wonder. Then her brief reflection is interrupted, and this man is speaking of words like he knew well of Soujiro.  
  
"I'm his comrade whom he cheated out of a deal," he replied casually, that caught finally Yuri's attention and looked at him. The man has also arresting good looks, but the air around him has nothing to do with his appearance.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry for being so rude. But please call me Kamatari. I have known Soujiro for several years." He stretched out his hand to introduce himself, and she shook his hand suspiciously. "So Kamatari," she took a deep breath ".what do you mean cheated out of the deal? Soujiro is not the."  
  
"Nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing, miss." He replied tersely, ignoring her wide-eyed baffled look as he moves his gaze to the dojo from a distance. "I presume you have met him, do you actually know what kind of a man you are dealing with?"  
  
"I know," she exclaimed, "He is the ex-mercenary Seta Soujiro.but I believed he has repented his ways."  
  
"Tch. That was only like a year ago.it didn't last that long. An assassin is always going to be an assassin; whatever it takes he would keep going back."  
  
"I don't believe you, that's a lie. You are nothing but a devil of his past.I can feel it! " She hissed, not liking the unpleasant malicious intended words coming from Kamatari's mouth. Not knowing she somehow ticked him off, she gasped as she felt a sudden painful twisting of her left arm to her back and he pinned her to the wall, pressing her with his whole form enough to crush her beneath.  
  
"I might be a devil of his past, miss." He breathed roughly to her ear, "But that sweet young man in there, have raped that lady with him.and plotted her guardian's death to make it look suicide." "Lie!"  
  
"It isn't a lie, I was there. I helped him carried his plan." He whispered again, every word is like a stab to Yuri's heart. "And I say.you must be the peasant girl who saved his life."  
  
"H-How do you know, you bastard?"  
  
He wringed her arm tighter, that she winced and let out a small snarl of pain. "For your information, I happen to be a spy. It takes effort to track him down, lest to observe why he suddenly seems to forget everything and our little deal." he looked down, with a pleasurable sadist glint in his eyes, ".and you are going to help him remember" 


	11. Vague Recollections

Part 11: Vague recollections  
  
The proceeding weeks that followed, the snow had thickened the grounds and the air in the surroundings had considerably chilled to freeze most bodies of water near Kyoto. But the growing coldness is nothing compared to Soujiro's sudden aloofness to his relationship with Misao. He starts to talk less and less to her, and sometimes he tried to avoid getting too close and personal. If she will lean to his shoulder, he will automatically move away and say he is going to run an errand. And these days, he rarely goes to her room and shared the one with Sanosuke instead. She will bring up the topic of the baby, and he'll quickly try to divert the conversation.  
  
One day she can't take it anymore, and tried to ask her guardian Okina if he could do anything about it.  
  
"I think he does not wish to remember, and it haunts him."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"His past,"  
  
"But he come of terms with it does he? In fact, he said that he remembered already." She spoke, and Okina couldn't help but feel a small pang of guilt on lying to her. He indirectly agreed when Soujiro made the alibi, as if some telepathic notion, they have to do it for the benefit of Misao. They want to keep their own little situation between them a secret.  
  
"Well, sometimes people like that do ponder.why don't you try talking to him? To know what really on his mind?"  
  
"I'll try that later"  
  
That later happens to be after dinner, he usually hangs out with Misao by the porch at night time but he instead went directly into his room. Sanosuke noted that something strange is going on with him, "Do you think he actually recalled his memory? He has been acting like that in weeks!" he spoke of this as everyone else got up from dinner, with only Okina left in the room.  
  
"I think Misao will try to talk to him this night. Then we would know."  
  
"Why don't you tell her the truth then?" he replied, whispering low. "The fact he haven't recalled even YET anything!"  
  
"Maybe that's what bothering him right now, we just have to wait."  
  
"Are you trying to protect him, or Misao? Look old man, I hate to say this.but I know you are doing him a favor just to see Misao happy. But she can't live with that notion forever, it's a lie. Her safety what comes, first.even if the truth hurts." Okina never imagined on earth that Sanosuke would speak with such wit and sense someday; he gave him a studious gaze and stroked his white beard. "You know Sanosuke, there is a saying.keep your friends close, but your enemies even much closer.we are not yet sure if he is friend or foe. We cannot jump to suspicions yet; even if there is credible evidence with us.there is a missing link of what happened to him that night that we could never guess unless a witness would show up."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"A partner in crime perhaps, we can't say the tragedy that has befallen us oniwabanshus is a doing of a one person. There should be an accomplice."  
  
"If THERE is an accomplice." He muttered, "Old man, how can you figure that Soujiro will recall his memory.and that is not what is happening now?"  
  
"An overwhelming emotional situation possibly, one factor of the senses can affect the memory. I think he would admit to it easily, he longed to know of his past anyway. " Okina glanced at Sanosuke, in the dim light one can see clearly the emotions that played in his features. As since most of the household has cleaned up and have gone for the rest, most of the area is dark and only the candles can bear witness to one's expression and the small talk grew from few minutes to hours. Unmistakably, even with his fainting eye sight, Okina could tell that Sanosuke's face has a color of a tomato and he can tell it does not come from the light.  
  
"I see you are very sensitive in the situation with Misao, but clues and leads could not just fall from the sky, Sanosuke. You can't solve the puzzle by your own, if that's what you are thinking. Everyone is also trying their best to help her."  
  
** "I have a sister." He said, in an almost inaudible voice.  
  
Okina feels a bit surprised, "Well, then it's good to hear you have a family. I don't see this have to."  
  
"She is also almost Misao's age; they are similar to each other in some way." He continued, "I have been doing a lot of thinking, what had happened to Misao, could also happen to my sister. If there is one thing I could do to bring her at peace, is find that bastard who did it. And I'm not going to dally around and watch to see my kid sister in pain.just like what Aoshi did!"  
  
"I know what you exactly feel, Sanosuke. Misao seems like a sister to you also. Aoshi have his reasons in doing it, do we know what those reasons are? No. But I'm not telling you that I'm not giving up. We need patience,"  
  
"Hmph, tell me about it."  
  
"Just keep yourself alert, that's what matters for now"  
  
  
  
Misao kept to herself in her room, noticing it would be morning by the time Sanosuke and Okina would be finished with their conversation. She then heard light brushing footsteps from outside, and peeked at the small crack of her door. The darkness of the corridor is enough to mask anyone's features, but she can see the familiar figure slip silently from the porch to the other room, blowing the small dwindling light from a lamp before going in. It was in few minutes, but she recognized who it was enough, and it is Soujiro.  
  
And he is alone; it would be perfect for her to confront him. She tiptoed out her room, and wait until she hears sounds of ruffling sheets settles in before she could stalk down the entrance with watchful steps of stealth and grace of what has taught for her in being a ninja. Once in, she tried to make out a small bob of black hair in a cot, focusing to crawl into that direction without any noise.  
  
For a slightly troubled Soujiro these days, he seems to be so peacefully asleep, Misao thought. Then an odd scent blended to the cold air and whiffed to her nostrils, it seems to drift from him awhile ago. If she's not mistaken, it's Sake. He had been drinking? The Soujiro she knew NEVER ever drink liquor, even if it calls for special occasions. But also answers her question, why such a bothered man like him ever gets to sleep so soundly. The alcohol acts as a temporary sedative to numb your senses for a moment to forget problems and lull you to la la land. Cursing under her breath at the scent, she can feel her heart pounding in every inch she nears. Soujiro is a prodigy in his own field, and even in his state.even a slight sound could probably alert him. Her heart is pounding with such strong deafening erratic beat and her shallow breathing seem to echo, probably so loud that Soujiro might wake up and tell her to slow it. But when she realized that her small hands and knees have touched the cot's blanket and her face is just inches away from the black bob of hair peeking out of the covers, she felt success. Soujiro cannot escape her in a conversation, not now that she has finally caught him to the element of surprise.  
  
Before she could pull the cover of his face, comes to the sudden REAL surprise. Next thing she knows is the cover suddenly has life of its own and is thrown against her. She struggled to get out, and before she knew it, it's pulled away only to greet nose to nose with a gleaming tip of a sword. It was Soujiro, kneeling down, his sword poised with the tip and his eye's gaze unwavering.train to the sight of darkness, and to the sight of the stalker. His dark expression broke when it comes to realization, on which it was.  
  
"Misao!" he gasped, not expecting the surprise. He quickly drops his sword, when the sight of her wide emerald orbs was staring in him full of disbelief and in shock; her face lost having lost its color. Misao is not expecting such a hostile greeting, and Soujiro noted that she looks. very terrified, when she saw him pointing the sword almost to her throat. "No, wait! Don't go!" he breathed deeply, quickly gripping her wrist just as she was about to scamper away, bitterness written to her small face.  
  
"W-what's wrong with you, Soujiro?" she whispered, a resentment lying underneath the tone of her voice. She is facing him, but he can't look up. She wants to demand on what's going on, to shake him at the collar to what he almost did. Why would he think someone is about to kill him? Is there some terrible secret he is starting to hide? For over the months, she thought she have gotten to know him.and that point on they become more than friends, they become lovers. "I-I'm sorry," is what he could all say, sighing deeply then finally looking up at her. She looks very disappointed, yet he doesn't want her to get hurt because of him. He finds himself giving up, and it's about time he really has to talk to her: seriously. He squeezes her palm very tight, and motioned her to sit beside him. "Please stay," he pleaded, "..and listen to me."  
  
Soujiro told what he doesn't have the strength to bring up to before; he told her he couldn't live anymore as a lie. He lost his memory.and that is until now. The faces and the names he is familiar with, is when Yuri's mother retrieved his file and he studied it deeply, hoping he'll grow to know a part of himself eventually. The only thing he recalls is her face and the brief sojourn with her at the inn before everything faded into oblivion. Afraid that his coincidental loss of recollection has somehow deeply rooted some suspicious involvement with Misao's past trauma, and when Okina pointed out the similarities he became wary and afraid.that he is not seemingly the man she thought he is, and that he is what she feared him to be.  
  
So it came as a surprise when, after he finished his whole confession, that Misao suddenly threw her arms around him and gave him a long passionate, breath-taking kiss.  
  
"N-Nani kore? No!" albeit astounded and dazed, he managed to lightly tear his mouth from hers and but Misao proved that he is the much stubborn of the two, and managed to pin him down the cot beneath hers. Now, he was the one caught in the element of surprise. It is not a reaction he is expecting to be having, she could slap him and walk away.but this?  
  
"Aishiteru." she whispered, their faces inches away, hidden both at the merged blackness, with only the warm moist breaths to indicate their closeness. " I loved you so much, that it hurts."  
  
"Anou.what do you mean."  
  
"Soujiro, you just told me the only thing you remember is our encounter at the inn."  
  
Fragments of that episode, yes. It's the only jewel and the reason why he wants to look back to his past.  
  
"Hai,"  
  
"For there must be a good reason, I thank the merciful Buddha, for having you not only once but twice in saving my life. Both of us, we are there in a right time and right place. Even in difficult circumstances, you managed to be there and encourage me that life is worth living. You gave me the reason that everything would be all right, that things could work out. That happened before and after..and it still feels the same. Just being with you, I know I'll be protected no matter what. You are not THAT madman Soujiro. With him, there is nothing but blind cold rage. You have no reason to do that to me, for why should you." Since he can't see in the dark, he felt a weird tingle behind his neck when he felt, as she talks, her fingers brushing lightly to his lips.  
  
But still, he was so impressed, hearing those words from her. Even if the events had made her a different woman, she still has that inner spark. She shifted her mass somehow, that he managed to sit up. She continued, "So it hurts, that suddenly the man I know who helped me to get over the most sensitive stages of my life, suddenly becoming so cold for such reason."  
  
"For I don't know where to start at first," he said, feeling quite sorry for himself.  
  
"You do love me, Soujiro?"  
  
"Misao, I always do. You know that. I won't let anything bad happen."  
  
"If you do, promise me to tell your secrets. I'll surely find a way to understand."  
  
Soujiro found that the pressing weight moved closer again, almost suffocating him. He wondered what got Misao so heavy, and he nearly forgot she was pregnant. This time, she just snuggled to him like a cat and rest within his arms. In a short few minutes time, she is fast asleep. He can't carry her back to her room, and instead decided to sleep just like that, with her huddled closed to him. She fully trusted him, and became so close during that months time.that she can't bear of the idea letting him go or at least let a minor "amnesia" get into her way. Even with that disappointment, she managed to cope and understand it.  
  
It's there he realized, that Misao needed him more than ever.  
  
He first starts to wonder what on Buddha's name made him suggested the idea of marriage at the first place, well at least a month ago. Now he is taking back his words, he is not ready. Not yet ready, knowing that there is this empty space that even with all the love and the sweet memories he have with the people in the household, can't even give back. He have to find what is there before, even though he have an ominous feeling it is not good.  
  
It's silly promising the only woman he loved, knowing he isn't sure if he can't keep it. Beneath her tomboyish attitude and the stubbornness, she is a vulnerable broken little girl shaped from the bad events that happened in her young life, and looking for someone to comfort her. That is what she needs, having the only trusted guardian she loves died under mysterious circumstances, Misao learned to trust and like Soujiro. They were both of almost the same age, both having there share of their own pasts, so it's easy for each other to relate with. Marriage first entered to him as something alien, for it's among the last thing on earth he had planned in doing. But he realized that Misao is carrying a baby without a father, so he took the idea out of sympathy. Eventually, it dawned to him that how he longed to have such peaceful quiet life, that how much she needed him.and its more than sympathy. He also grew to also acknowledge the baby as his own. He then knew he wants to marry her because he felt love. The warmness that she shared with him, even with the absence of his recollection, is something he can't remember experiencing even before. And he should be thankful, as a wise man once had said: The greatest thing in the world is to love, and be loved in return.  
  
Then he shut his eyes, finally taking himself to sleep with Misao still nestled in his arms. She was somehow right, he couldn't think of a reason why his nameless self could be the same mad man that ruined her.all he has of her is a singled out memory, and it was a good one. The torn kimono, the scar.he could just hope it's a setup by someone who hates him.  
  
He made out his mind; all that matters now is the present.and the future,  
  
"It's no use of holding the past anymore,"  
  
  
  
Note: ** (asterixs under one of Sano's conversations) It is told to me that Sanosuke has a sister in the manga, I don't know it that's true or NOT.but anyway, I placed her here to make the story..mushy ^_^ 


	12. Never an Absolution

Part 12: Never an absolution  
  
  
  
The rest of the days that followed, the two try to build a stronger sense of communication. Soujiro became even more devoted on her, and enjoy every present minute of his life at the fullest. It slowly melts the tension that once filled the household, and he is determined to stop searching for his past.if there are not so much good memories to recall, for what matters now, is the present.a blissful life, a woman he loved and a baby to make their bond closer together. He have opened up to her, as much his soul did allow and she accepted and understand it, and the void of emptiness.the missing piece, no longer matters for him.  
  
She used to be so afraid to go out, but Soujiro made it sure that she gets much exposure often. The warm rays of sunlight in the early morning are blessedly warm, taming the cold air emitting from the cold white ground. The snow itself falls gently, with no threats of harsh weather and it's infinitely calm to get a usual stroll around the town. Misao worried about what people are going to say, for because the past few months the only farthest place she reached was the outdoors' entrance. Soujiiro calmed her, saying they'll pretend to be a young couple instead. "At least they'll know you get over it." He said, in an effort to put her spirits up.  
  
"Do we really have to pass by the market place?" she shrinked, thinking twice in taking a few steps out of their residence. If Soujiro is not patient, he could have just scoop her up and carry her to town. Even if she is wearing her long flowing white cloak to mask her body features, it could do less in hiding the swell of her growing stomach. For on its 7th month, the baby has grown to its almost full fetal form, and it's like carrying a ripe watermelon.  
  
"It's our only way to go to Shirobeko, Sae's place."  
  
"Why do we have to go to Shirobeko?" she whined, "There are more people there at that time! Much more than in the market place!"  
  
"I passed there for a late lunch last afternoon, Sae wants to know if you are okay and she wants to hear from you. Besides, it's a long time since you talked with someone else." he replied, taking her small hand as he helped her move outside. Misao is doing her best to use her other hand to clutch the cloak, and he shook his head. There is still the shame, carrying the baby.the spawn of the faceless mad man.  
  
"There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as I am here." He comforted her, squeezing her hand tightly as they walked to the open road. "That child, he is going to have a father."  
  
"I just wish you are his real father Soujiro," she sighed.  
  
He didn't know what happened next, but suddenly his encounter with a man called Kamatari flashed into his mind. The malicious smile, like a riddle in a wicked innuendo leaves him with words that startled him before he left. ".you sired the squeaky bitch!" it resounded in such mocking tone, like he sound he meant it.  
  
"Are you okay, Sou-chan?" Misao said, when she felt the sudden jerk on Soujiro's grip and the sudden frozen, no, terrified expression crept into his face. "Looks like you have seen a ghost."  
  
"I-It's nothing." He grumbled, "I'm trying to recall if we forgot anything else." He hates when that happens, some things are meant to haunt back. Sometimes he wants to look for this Kamatari to get answers himself, but he knew he can't trust his life on it. The man is calculating and dangerous, he might even hurt others.  
  
They proceed to go to Shirobeko, and Misao can't help but queasy at the curious eye's of the people looking upon her. They felt relieved that she was alive, but their smile faded and suspicion arises when they caught size of her belly. Soujiro's presence even became even more alarming. Low whispers and hushes seems to follow with each wary glance, ".I wonder if that is the result of.that event?" one of the ladies murmured to a group of women. "Could be, then it must be such a shame."  
  
"So who is the young man with her? I heard he is some ronin." "Ronin or not, he must be taking a pity."  
  
She wants to cover her ears from all the words, wishing it must be much better if she could have stayed home instead. And she begged Soujiro to do so, "We can't now, we are just a few streets away." And indeed, she could see the restaurant in a short distance. She felt some sort of relief when she entered, for it has fewer people in it and mostly is busy eating.  
  
Sae could never be so happy in the sight of the old friend, and Soujiro accompanying her. "Misao!" she cried out, quickly taking off her apron, approached hastily and then hugging her tight, "it's been a long time! I hope you are okay.everyone here missed you!". Misao didn't return her embrace, and she felt she was more on shocked and uneasy on something else. Sae could feel something round and solid just a little below Misao's waist, and it seems to hinder her from hugging her even closer. She took a look down and gasp, "I-I'm sorry. I don't know you were."  
  
"Pregnant." She murmured, "I know.I didn't even know it was possible."  
  
Sae quickly prepared a small dining area, a little farther from the customers but private and comfortable for them to have a talk. She was awed the way Soujiro, like a protective brother try to cover her a bit when everyone is starting to give them strange glances, and tried to make her comfortable in her seat by putting an extra cushion. He is the shoulder she can lean on.without him she could have not come this far, she thought. Soujiro happens to be at the right time, and right placing.as if it was fate.  
  
"So.what are you going to do about it Misao?" "I.I'm going to raise the child, even not knowing who the father is."  
  
"You are brave Misao," Sae can't help but comment. "If some women are in your place, they could have aborted the child or kill themselves. A trauma like that is hard to bear."  
  
"If Soujiro haven't come and help me go through life, I don't know if I will be here right now." She took a glimpse on him, a hint of proudness in her eyes. "He made me believe once again to myself, by being there at the right place at the right time."  
  
"Oh, that's so sweet to hear. I hope from here, everything would turn to be okay," Sae noticed that Soujiro is somehow gushing, "I wish the best for both of you, it's the best to leave the past behind."  
  
The conversation went on in an amiable and fluid pace; old friendship is rekindled like the good old days. She tried to catch up, the events she have missed, while she was living secluded in her home for god knows several months. Everything went fine, and Sae treated them with a full meal while they talked on everything, from Kenshin's newly found domestication.hearing that Kaoru is also well with child like hers.to thinking about the appropriate name for the children, or if ever she and Soujiro will consider having an engagement. Soujiro casually dismissed it, that "he will wait for the approval of others, and do it appropriate time."  
  
It's nice to see Misao have slowly becoming happy again, and finally having her to bring outside and have her reunite with her old friends. He left them for awhile for a short walk, while they are chatting and exchanging experiences of everyday life. "I'm going to give her some time," he whispered as he trekked down the few first snowy steps outside Shirobeko. Misao have a beautiful past, people who care for her.and its about time he'll let know that she'll be needing them more than ever. He does not share that past, his is something that he refuses to instill for nothing seems to be nice to come out of it. Deep within that missing piece, he can feel somehow that what is he have forgotten might indeed, deserved to be. Seeing her, from the spirited girl of his recollections to a broken lifeless doll nearly made his heartbreak. That made him decide to look after her with such utteral devotion, "She doesn't deserve to suffer, she.she has done nothing wrong. I'll do anything to make her happy, the person she once was."  
  
"Ohayo, Soujiro-kun." Came a familiar ring of a voice,  
  
"Why, Yuri. What brings you here?" He was somehow relieved of a sight of an old friend, Yuri. He presume she happens to stop by Kyoto for awhile, "How do you know I'm here?"  
  
She still look delicate and frail as usual, but even so, there is this brightness within her everytime he converses with her. "Oh, I just happen to stroll around, looking for goods in the market. I decided to eat for awhile then," she replied, "so what brings you here?"  
  
"Misao" he said, "She needs to get some sunlight, a little exercise. So I bring her to Shirobeko, where she also have an old friend she haven't seen in months."  
  
"But isn't it snowing? She is pregnant."  
  
"It doesn't look that bad," He turned to her, there is something wrong with the way she speaks, as if it is somehow halting, restrained and a little formal. Besides, Yuri herself is not that healthy to venture in such a weather, ".but you,.you know what cold air could do for you."  
  
"Oh, then lets look for somewhere else warm while we talk." She said in a small uneasy smile, "I know a place nearby."  
  
"Yuri! I can't just leave Misao!" "It will be only for few minutes, like good all times.please?" she pleaded, "just a short chatter."  
  
Now she wants to tell something to him, and she is acting like a young girl who's just about to gossip. Whatever Yuri is up to, he could always spare a short time to talk about it. "Well, okay. Just not that long."  
  
**** That "short time", is spent on which seems to be more than a mile of walk, and until they reach which seems an isolated area near the woods. Yuri is unsually high-spirited, and is leading Soujiro in a gay friendly chatter; although it sounds like a normal "how's you" conversation, Soujiro can't help but felt wary about them getting deeper and deeper and away from the streets and people.  
  
"Where are you taking me? Surely it's not back to your home." he said, when he finally can't take off his suspicions anymore.  
  
But Yuri is not listening, she is carefully unsheathing a dagger from one of her kimono sleeves.  
  
"Gomen nasai, Sou-chan."  
  
****  
  
Back in Shirobeko,  
  
"Where is Soujiro?" " I thought he just came out for a breath of fresh air?"  
  
"Then what's taking him that long?" Misao's tone showed a hint of worry, Soujiro.he just won't leave without telling where he would go. It's just not like him.  
  
"Maybe he met an acquaintance.."  
  
Still having her doubts, Misao went outside to look for him. It's just not like the young ronin to leave her side. If he has problems, he didn't necessarily avoid it by going away.and if he does, she will obviously notice. They have already resolved issues from before.  
  
"Excuse me miss, are u Makamachi Misao?"  
  
The voice caught her off the moment of reverie, stood just outside near a door, is a somehow gajin type coach man with an odd moustache, a little too big for his face and in ridiculously fit clothes. He looks puffy and in his bit past prime, but the sharp odd brown eyes indicate he seems younger.  
  
"What if I am?"  
  
The man made a low courtesy, a custom of the Europeans. "Pardon me," his voice sounding quite cordial. "But Mr. Soujiro Seta called me to be of your service. A mother to be like you deserves a comfortable way to go home."  
  
****  
  
"Yuri!! Why?!"  
  
Soujiro felt the hot lancing pain seething to his flesh, intensifying as he took hold of the dagger at her grip. He had tumbled to the ground, and haven't he gripped the weapon, it could have stabbed directly at his back. And now it is aiming directly to his heart. Blood ooze through his injure palm, but he held it nonetheless, Yuri.it seems, like a demon possessed, have gather enough energy to for some reason, to kill him. He could tell, for some odd instinct, that she is being manipulated and brainwashed. Her eyes, they are alight with the blue flame.  
  
"You bastard!! No wonder you have so many lives! " she snarled, as she pulled the dagger back and Soujiro winced as the weapon re-traced off quickly and painfully from his injured palm. She raised her weapon once back again, knowing well that Soujiro can't be able to use his right hand to draw the sword. But to her shock, he did it using his left. Trained mercenary that he is, he drew it off from the sheath in time to block the gleaming weapon and flip it away from Yuri's grip. Taking advantage of her distraction, he quickly lounge forward towards her. Immobilizing her arms and feet, by pining them down at the ground.  
  
"Let me go!!!"  
  
"Shake out of it Yuri!! Tell me what's going on!" he shouted, for she sounded like mad, deranged. He is tempted to slap her to knock her back to her senses. There got to be something that is controlling her, making her act like this.like a rabid animal. Why should she attempt to stab him at the back? Why would she go all the trouble to bring him to the woods. He have a healthy suspicion already when she starts up an idyllic conversation, and she is trying lure him further away from the people.  
  
"Tell you? You tell me." A strange disturbed glee seems to ring at the tone of her voice, that made a chill run through his spine. " Didn't you feel anything when you ravished her, torment her and kill her beloved guardian to make it look like suicide? Is it worth it all, just to have her now wrapped around you like an obedient slave?"  
  
"W-what are you talking about?"  
  
She let out a mad cry, and clawed his right arm with all her might. It added more stinging pain to his already injured hand that he dropped his defenses down, including his left-hand grip of the sword. Yuri take the moment to kick him at the stomach and cluttered the sword farther away from the ground, and he finds himself wrestling her off like hell. It's no more sense to trying to talk her to calm down, someone manipulated her. Someone has took control of her.  
  
"You have the scar to prove it! Show it, show it to me!!" she shrieked.  
  
Kamatari.  
  
He is the bastard who knew of this, the man of his past who claim that he commit the unspeakable. The man who would possibly do anything to get something in turn, and he shouldn't have underestimated him.  
  
He shields his face, as Yuri tries to claw and scratch him; while he attempted to try to keep her to the ground while each tries to fight for dominance of the first to reach his/her weapon. The dagger is a few feet away from his left, the sword is much farther and had fallen somewhere within the forest bushes. In few minutes, she managed to tore off one of his protectors, and there at his right arm ran a deep red scar. As soon as she sees it, she stopped attacking as suddenly as she have started. She stared out in pale, and half-sane horror  
  
"She tries to defend herself, as you violate her! There is a scar!!! It's the damned proof!!" "N-No!! I don't."  
  
" How could you not remember, if Kamatari saw it with his very eyes?!"  
  
She's deranged, truly deranged.  
  
Yuri.what have Kamatari done to you.he keep murmuring to himself,  
  
Whatever Kamatari told you, I don't know.I don't remember. he said to himself again. But it's no use reasoning that to her now.  
  
"You couldn't remember do you?"  
  
Another searing pain seethes right through his head like a knife, there are those flashes again. Staring to Yuri's mad glare reminded him of the similar cold gaze. As quick as those fragments of flashes are, he could see that it is a dark windy night. He was in a forest, looking up to Hojoun Kamatari.he has that look in his eyes, and he is pinning a girl at the ground. There is a short struggle, but the girl seems subdued eventually.  
  
"What do you think Soujiro, is she dead?" " She couldn't be dead."  
  
" Then I might as well finish the job," "No."  
  
"You wanna let her live?" " I-I still loved her." The words resounded like muted echos in the swirling confusing flashback, but there it is again.Yuri has lounged back and this time he shouldered himself with his scarred arm. Seeing it, came another flash of light.  
  
"That bitch just wounded your arm, Soujiro" she whispered,  
  
Then akin to those words, his arm smarts in pain as if it is wounded fresh. Another flash of light.  
  
He sees back himself again to the confusing flash back, this time its hazy and dark. There was a struggle, he could feel his arms.struggling above someone, suppressing someone.  
  
"Iya, hanase!!"  
  
came a shout from his memory, a voice of a young lady underneath him. There came a white wringed hand to the view and clawed his arm so hard that it ripped his kimono, so hard that it clawed deep into his arm. As if watching from a nightmare, he sees himself in darkened rage and the fist raised up high.  
  
" sukutte kudasai, aoshi-sama!!!"  
  
No, it couldn't be.  
  
"No, it couldn't be!! How could I do such a thing?! This is not true!" he cried out, his expression confused.his indigo eyes flared to bewilderment, "No!!!" he feared.Kamatari might be indeed right.  
  
Somehow Soujiro's anguished cry shook some sense to Yuri's frazzled senses for what is left. She momentarily halted, and watched him blankly in a few minutes. There is an uneasy moment of silence, with the hushed crying aside.then a trickle of tear fall down from her right eye.  
  
" Soujiro--- I." she rasped, seemingly out of breath. As if the lunatic Yuri from awhile ago had fled her like a demon possessed, with all her strength having sucked all out. Her arms start shaking, trembling and fear slowly filled her small face as she recognized Soujiro's bleeding hand.  
  
It's then Soujiro noticed that she has returned to normal, and he quickly took the chance to demand some answers. He shook her, "Is Kamatari behind all this?! Tell me---merciful Buddha, what has he done to you? What have he TOLD you?"  
  
"I- I can't tell, I won't last if." "What? Why.Why are you acting like this?"  
  
She continued shaking, "h-he told me evil things.about you, there is nothing I can do about it.he put me into.he.injects something.and my mother.if I don't.she." she spoke in halting tone, as if the way she spoke is like a struggling for sanity.  
  
"You mean, Osei-san.he is going to kill her?!"  
  
"If I don't kill you, yes!" she cried, " I can't bring myself to believe, but he did something to me.I dunno.I" and she starts to shrink back, mumbling and dazed.  
  
"Return to me Yuri!! Snap out of it! What else did he say?"  
  
She shot back to reality, to let out a half-cry and half-scream,  
  
"R-RUN !!"  
  
Whatever Kamatari has done to her, Soujiro suspects he injected her some serum to make her go wild.then, he brainwashed her. And it almost succeeded.  
  
That son of a bitch, why does it have to be others who suffer.  
  
"Hold on to it, Yuri!"  
  
"R-RUN !!" she still screamed, ".in danger, she is!! Go back to Shirobeko!!"  
  
Misao.  
  
She continued, however ".but you had to kill me first, kill me."  
  
"WHY?! Yuri, don't do this! Where is Misao, where is she?"  
  
"I can't last.this way anymore, I failed.I."  
  
She took out a gun hidden beneath her other sleeve, her eyes changed. "Gomen nasai, Soujiro Seta..Sayonara." 


	13. Falling Pieces

Part 13: Falling Pieces  
  
Note: " / " = means flashback, to make it all easier ^_^; at the last half of the chapter.  
  
Hungry, really hungry indeed.  
  
Sanosuke could hear his stomach grumble so loud that he swore even the passer-by's could hear it. Hearing that the ever trustable Soujiro has taken Misao for a stroll to Sae's place, and with the food supply having limited down at the house hold, he decided to look for himself.  
  
"What are taking those two so long?" he muttered, chewing on a piece of grass as he carries fishing bait along with him. It seems so idiotic to catch a fish in the eve of winter.but he heard that even the frozen lakes around the area are merely blanketing cold waters.and that those little fishes are alive and swimming and good in a catch. All he needs to look for is find a good spot, smash a part of the lake with his fist and wait for good bait.  
  
"Better that Soujiro does not do anything funny this time," he can't keep himself from saying it out loud. Soujiro--- his long over due stay and a story of him and how he met Misao is like out of a dramatic opera. His relationship with her, that swings from a dutiful attending lover to a troubled youth swings like a pendulum, not that there is anything wrong with Misao for the young oni leader have taken the event that had befallen her readily, but the fact is he can't recall anything--- from his past.  
  
Sanosuke could accept the fact freak accidents do happen, but he also believes there is no such thing as a true coincidence. What Soujiro has in store could link fatally to that past. It's all unerringly accurate.  
  
Torn sleeved kimono... The day that he was found without a name...  
  
Why did he go back to Kyoto? Why would he wander there for no reason?  
  
Okina said that once he regained his memories, it would be the answer.  
  
"H-help me.."  
  
Sanosuke is caught off from his pondering when he heard a small faint voice calling upon a few meters among the woods---just as he was about to settle down near a frozen lake. He jumped with a start, "Who is there?"  
  
"He is in danger---he..."  
  
It sounds like coming from a young woman, and it sounds like she is in pain. He quickly searched where the voice is coming from, and he gasped in terror when he saw a badly broken wisp of a lady lying down in her own pool of blood. There is a big clean slash that runs across from her right ear to her neck that is letting the gush of blood flow, and the horrendous wound is quite open that if she tilts her head back further it would fall off. "Kuso!!" he can't find other words to say, this woman needs immediate medical attention and he quickly dropped everything to rush to her aid. Somehow, he has seen her from before.  
  
He tried to carry her, but she shook her head to stay no.as if signaling that she preferred to stay down the ground. "Lady, are you crazy?!" he gasped, "you are going to die with that.that.wound!"  
  
She gave him a very lonely look, as if she accepted her fate. "You." she rasped, clutching her wounded neck. " You a. Misao's.friend, help.befo...ate..."  
  
It's then Sanosuke recognized her, she is the young lady from the few days' ago. She is the girl that bumped to Misao and a friend of Soujiro.  
  
Soujiro.  
  
The wound, it looks to be cut so clean.like that of a sword.  
  
"Misao? What do you mean of Misao?! Is she in danger?"  
  
"She.in Shio...eko"  
  
Shirobeko, the last place Misao and Soujiro went to. "Did Soujiro do this to you?!"  
  
She mustered all her strength, her eyes ignite a spark as she clutched her small bloodied hands in to his shirt, "Tell him, I'm sorry.onegai...one.R- RUN, sa...her.sa.her!!!"  
  
Save her.  
  
It gives him no choice, the wounded lady instructed him against his will to go.Misao is in danger.and to tell Soujiro that she is sorry.sorry for what? This is all happening to fast, it's been a few days's when the youth reconciled with Misao for being so cold lately.everything seemingly going back to normal, and suddenly a wounded acquaintance struggles and tells of danger.  
  
He doesn't have to ponder about that right now, he has to save Misao. "I'll be back, promise.just stay here." He called out, before he took himself to runs down to the clearing and towards Shirobeko.  
  
As soon as he left, Yuri felt seemingly bittersweet--- after all she is going to die now, and her last struggle for sanity and repenting had come at last. If she just have run away from that amber eyed man, if only her mother's life is not threatened-she would be free, and now---  
  
"Never leave a dirty job with a lackey," then suddenly came a cold voice.  
  
Yuri's blood ran cold.  
  
****  
  
Sanosuke does not have to look that far.  
  
Just several feet away from Shirobeko, a crowd has already gathered up. A closer look, he noticed there seems to be of an accident. He saw a few crashed caravans and upturned market stands and the area looks like it have been swept by a storm. With Yuri's words of warning repeating thru his head, he quickly rushed to the scene. In a few moments, he struggled to the crowd and with the advantage of his tall height he managed to see what he feared the most.  
  
Misao is crying uncontrollably and looks very badly shaken, her voice letting out heart wrenching sobs as it seems she was thrown right in the middle of some mess. Behind her leaves a trail of broken pieces of a coach, and the rest or any object by that street in that matter is thrown into pieces. Shattered chairs, fallen market stalls with the goods scattered into the street, some caged fowls are lose and running. Holding her tightly is Soujiro, who looks equally devastated as she was. He is trying to console her, but he ended up crying also himself.  
  
"Misao!! Misao!!!" he ran, and in great relief noticed that she is only shaken and suffered only minor bruises and scratches. She recognized Sano's voice immediately and she instantly stood up and ran---then he noticed that a part of her clothes and her limbs are smudged with blood.that trails down to Soujiro.  
  
"Sano! Thank goodness!!!" she gasped, and quickly rushes to the man she came to knew as a close friend and a big brother. She threw her arms around him, and buried her face seeking solace as she let out her heart to cry. "I'm so scared---I."  
  
"That's ok, Misao. I'm here for you.every thing is going to be fine." he comforted her, hushing and holding her tight. He lifted his eyes to Soujiro's direction, his gaze sharp with a hint of strong doubt. Soujiro got an injured right palm, his face looks like it have been scratched by small hands and his hakama---more splatters and stains of blood. If Misao managed to come out unscathed, how did this happen to him?  
  
"What happened Misao? What have he done to you?" Sanosuke whispered, still holding her tight. But Misao said nothing, as if she is in great shock.  
  
"A run away coach carried her," a man in the crowd speaks up. "It looks like it was going to throw her away to the cliff." And the stranger pointed out, a small hill just few miles away that would be leading to yawning chasm that would lead to a long river stream.  
  
"If it hasn't been for this young man who showed in the nick of time, she would be dead." A woman speaked out, a pointed to the wounded Soujiro.  
  
Sanosuke is growing to be very suspicious.  
  
He lifted Misao easily and carried her with both arms, like a small fragile flower in his grasp and his cold gaze still unwavering at ronin's baffled expression. "I'll take you home." he said, "don't worry.its okay now. I'm here" And its all for naught, as cries wracked her body.  
  
Soujiro knew it's about time he speaks up; Sanosuke is expecting him of foul play. The tall lad never trusted the sight of him, ever since he dropped by to Kyoto some few months back. He just hoped he hasn't figured his recently figured "dark" past.  
  
"Sano.let me explain," he called out, and stood up and ran to catch by him. "It's not what you think it is!"  
  
He let out a small wince of pain, nearly forgetting the piercing wound at his left side. A gunshot wound. It's the wound that Yuri inflicted on him, to trigger him to kill her. He does not want to, and does not see why. In order to defend himself, he got no choice.he slashed her with his sword, through her neck.a fatal point.  
  
Sanosuke turned around, and noticed that Soujiro is clinging painfully to his side. So that's where all the blood came from. "Sanosuke.I saved misao." he gasped, as he tries to stand up, the pain seems to pierce his insides, making him limp. Soujiro clutched his sword for support, and to Sano's horror he noticed that there are some mild stains of blood in it despite being covered by a dark sheath. He recalled the injured lady named Yuri at the forest; she has a slashed neck done cleanly by probably a sword. Before she collapses, she seems to hold a gun on her right hand. If she is able to defend herself, the person shot will be injured to his left. Soujiro is the only person, as so far, that Yuri knew in the whole town.  
  
"You wait here, you bastard."  
  
He walked away from him, and left Misao for awhile in Sae's place which is few blocks away. Then he went back, his fists are clenched his jaw seems to be rigged so tight that it seems it would pop. Soujiro feared there is something that Sanosuke that has came into, first--- he noticed Soujiro's blood stains in mysterious places. How could he know that Misao is in danger, from miles away from where he is staying?  
  
Could it possible he met Yuri?  
  
It couldn't be.  
  
His mind is confused with swirling thoughts, until he realized that Sanosuke is standing now right in front of him. In very close range, and standing at least 6'2 and growing, he is an intimidating towering giant of a man that could crush him down.if he is isn't only too injured to defend himself.  
  
"Let's make this clear, Soujiro. You and me." he hissed, in a low rough voice. His furious brown gaze flaming beneath the small youth beneath him "I never used my strength to intimidate the haplessly injured, but you make an exception. If you ever.EVER go hurt Misao, or if I learned you have dealt her with bodily harm--- I swear I'll break every bone in your body. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
"Sano, I wouldn't do anything to hurt Misao..." he said, "I tried to save her, and I did."  
  
"Somebody out there just tried to kill her, haven't you dealt her enough damage already? Just go away and leave her alone!"  
  
"W-What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Don't play dumb with me.." He cursed lowly, and grabbed Soujiro's collar. With his just one hand, he easily dragged him uneasily from the ground. He was at loss of words to reason with him, and his most easy alternative is with his fist. The crowd starts to swarm around them, and not surprisingly siding with Soujiro. He is wounded and he has saved the girls life, they say. There is no reason why he should pick a fight; his hapless opponent has done no wrong. Done no wrong? Are they sure? Everything that surrounds him from 30 minutes ago is a complex web of what he feared, and for Misao's life: the perpetrator strikes back and almost succeed of getting rid of her. He can't see how they got all interconnected, but Soujiro got to be in it.  
  
His mind presented all the possible factors, it all started with Yuri. The girl is new in town and a brief acquaintance of Soujiro. She also recently met Misao and knew of her as well. Then why would she wound up severely wounded in a deserted area of the forest? Who would have her killed, wanted her dead? Her words tells her to save Misao, before its too late.from whom, she forgot to tell. Her injuries, from a possible sword wound and Soujiro has a sheathed bloodied sword. He acquired a gun shot, and that she also has a gun. Bystanders told them that Soujiro surfaced already wounded by the time he saved Misao from the crashing carriage.  
  
But the most damning hunch to prove all his suspicions came from Sae when Sanosuke left Misao with her for awhile. She told him that Soujiro left Misao shortly to talk with a "female friend" and she describes to be exactly like Yuri. After that, someone presented himself as a coachman and charms Misao to leave Shirobeko for a short easy ride home, courtesy of Soujiro. Of course, Soujiro didn't have anything to do with the carriage incident. But there must be a link between him and that stranger and for some reason--- wants Misao dead. Sae trembled as she mentioned that the suspicious character has the coldest amber eyes she has ever seen.  
  
Haze clouded his brain, and words can't make out what he is starting to feel. The young ronin is guilty in his point of view, in one way or another. Soujiro could see that Sanosuke is breathing murder into his eyes, and that his fist is clenched so tight that he could make out the possibility that in a few minutes, it will hit and break his jaw. With one fist clutching his neck collar so hard that he is starting to choke, and his feet inches away from the ground, it seems forever for Soujiro to wait what Sanosuke will do to him.  
  
"S-Sanosuke, you are better than this." He rasped, "If we continue this senseless argument, we will just hurt Misao more. She had enough already, please.just let me explain."  
  
It seems to be an eternity, until Sanosuke dropped Soujiro roughly to the ground. The youth coughed and fell into his knees, trying to feel every part of his body, hoping that aside from the bullet wound he didn't have any broken bones. Rubbing his neck, he looked up.Sanosuke is waiting him to loosen up, and for the sake of the crowd, mumbled to meet him behind Sae's place by the back kitchen.  
  
As soon as they get there, the serious conversation began.  
  
"Misao is special to me," Sanosuke started, with surprisingly nostalgia in his tone, but still his gaze is sharp and unwavering towards Soujiro. "She is like my younger sister, and if anything happens to her---anything bad, I make sure that she gets the justice she deserves."  
  
Like break every bone to my body, Soujiro said to himself. " Sano."  
  
"Yes I know, you said yourself. You don't want to hurt her. In fact, she loves you just so much that it hurts her deep inside. You are a man without a past; suddenly appearing to her life when to her everything seems hopeless. You help her to become strong, even if it will take years to bring the old Misao back." then he paused, eyeing Soujiro's wounded side. "Then suddenly, came another threat in her life. And ironically, you are there once again to save her. Isn't it too much of a coincidence, Soujiro?"  
  
The sound of the vegetables being fried in the background drowned the words that Sanosuke has said, but Soujiro was able to read it. He wants to confess it, there must be SOMETHING that draws him to save Misao, and be there when she needed him. Those flashbacks, of his unwanted past holds the clue why---and the way he look to it, is not a good one. Kamatari is behind it, he knows.but if he directly tells it to Sano, it would mean that he is an accomplice. No way would he be one, unless he recall why----and how.  
  
He knows why the sight of his wounds angered Sano, and he tries his best reasoning to explain it.  
  
"Where do you get those injuries," Sanosuke finally asked,  
  
"Yuri-----"  
  
He could see flame flare to Sanosuke's eyes. "--------she tried to warn me, but it's too late. I can't save her. I didn't kill her Sano, I didn't! HE did this-----"  
  
Sanosuke breathed deeply, "Explain,"  
  
Soujiro lied; it's after all the best way for now, until he finds out the truth. "Someone tries to blackmail Yuri in killing me first, and then Misao." He looked straight at him, "It's against her wishes and I know it." Soujiro's mind raced at a possible flashback, he told Sano that Yuri tries to attack him with a dagger, and he caught it with his right palm. He begged her to stop, and asking her why she is doing this. She is so confused to tell, in fear that someone is watching, so he quickly disarmed her of the dagger. At that point she panics, as he tried to negotiate with her, she brought out a gun and wounded him to his side. After several attempts, she starts to confess---- a man with amber eyes, a spy--- wanted for unknown reasons, to have Soujiro's and Misao's head. If she didn't accomplish the task, he would have to kill her mother. Before he could ask who, someone hits him back at his head----and his next vague recollection is his Nihontou being taken away from its sheath and later when he came to be, found out it was used to slit Yuri's neck. He panics, and recalls Misao is in danger and quickly ran to Shirobeko.  
  
It seems that Sanosuke brought the tale. "And do you have any idea who this amber-eyed man is?"  
  
Soujiro hesitated, "No. But if I do, I can't remember who."  
  
"It sure is, after all.if you figured it out sooner or later, you are also a part of an evil scheme."  
  
"No!" it sounded more defensive than he intended, "Whatever the life I lead before, it has nothing to do with what is happening right now!"  
  
"Oh? And how would you know?" Sanosuke implied sarcastically. "You can't remember anything, but if you do--- you know it isn't good."  
  
"Because I can feel it." Soujiro whispered, and expectantly ---he just hopes its right.  
  
*****  
  
Whatever the case, Sanosuke declared it a draw, and let him off the hook. It sounded that Soujiro is telling the truth, or at least somehow. He has been Misao's source of strength at her bleaker days--- and in his month's stay with Okina's household he can see that the love within both of them is genuine. He felt a pang of jealousy, whenever he sees them, witnessing their mutual friendship move to a higher plateau. The way they exchange sweet nothings, and sweet kisses that drives him crazy.the never ending concerns and tending Soujiro has to do to make her pregnancy a comfortable one, and so forth. Okina and the rest of the Oni's knew better than to tease Sano, they know that he looked on her just like an overprotective brother will do to his sister. But also, they wish they knew.  
  
He wished he could have done something to comfort Misao, and save Aoshi's life. He takes out a deep breath and placed his palms heavily to his eyes, as he recalls those incident fresh in his head.  
  
"Where did you get this?" his face was then full of shock, as he sees the welts and bruises that marked her whole arm. "Did Aoshi know abo----"  
  
"He knows about it well," Misao's voice came in a rush whisper, "He knows about it well that-----". Then she looked at him, and he swore he never saw Misao so petrified with her life and very vulnerable and helpless. "Sanosuke, swear that you'll listen to me.you must help..." she whispered, pleading as she gripped firmly to his arms. ".help me find him."  
  
And before he can ever reply, Aoshi then came in. His mere presence has made her blood ran with cold fear and she trembles as Aoshi tacitly instructed her to go, to which she obeyed as meekly as a lamb----in a speechless protest, she clutched to Sanosuke tightly before Aoshi finally drew her out of the room.  
  
"Sano---t-tasukete kudasai." she pleaded.  
  
He was not able to do anything, and he lost it in front of Aoshi. He got scared, if he just confronted Aoshi man to man, things would be in much better resolve. But that night, he hid in one of the kitchen counters to talk to Misao---and he did nothing to stop her about her plan. He knew that Misao will go in desperate measures to get Aoshi's attention to her situation, and if he just did stop her Aoshi would be alive right now. The man is the only one who holds the clue to who did the unsavory deed to Misao, why would he keep it a secret----even to his own ward, Sano don't know.  
  
He shouldn't have reluctantly left back to Tokyo, after Aoshi's funeral. And with that, somehow he broke his promise to Misao----to find whoever he might be, who did this. He missed a lot of things, after the funeral Misao learned she is with child and later she resolved to commit suicide. And then, Soujiro mysteriously came along--- saved her life. With the dire situation she is in, vulnerable and needing a companion to cry on, she holds on to Soujiro for her support. This friendship later blossomed into something much deeper, and when the Soujiro's amnesia is revealed in front of Okina's eyes---- the old man became healthily suspicious. Knowing that he'll need someone to help him prove that something strange is going on, he called upon Sanosuke.  
  
And that is months after the incident, sometimes Sano wondered why Okina has to wait that long. Long enough that Misao has fully trusted on Soujiro, the fact he later learned, has an unerring connection to Misao's unfortunate accident. It's so ironic to describe it as a coincidence, the fact that Okina and Sano keep to themselves. They don't want Misao to get hurt again.  
  
But if POSSIBLY they are right, it wouldn't be avoided.  
  
If he only stayed long enough to look after her during those agonizing months, if he..  
  
"Sanosuke, they are leaving..are you going with them?" Sae's voice broke him from his interlaced reverie. The chinky eyed woman opened her eyes---as if she noticed something. Now, it's rare for Sae to open her eyes unless it really caught her attention. "What!" Sano said irritatingly, "do I have some egg on my face?"  
  
"It looked like you have been crying,"  
  
Sanosuke was equally surprised as she was, and he rubbed his eyes. His cheeks are a bit warm and damp with a salty fluid. Sae said she noticed that his eyes are pretty reddish too. He casually dismissed that it must be the chopped onions in the kitchen, and strode out of the kitchen quickly, before Sae realized there are no onions being done in the cooking area.  
  
He slipped out of behind the restaurant counter, and was able to glimpse the two----as if nothing happened. Misao was tending to Soujiro's wounds, even the fact she was rattled herself. She carefully mended his left side, and his wounded palm.  
  
"You don't have to do this Misao, I can manage." He said softly,  
  
"No, it's the least I could do. You saved my life----oh, Soujiro." she murmured, and tears trickled down her cheek. He hushed her, placing one hand to hers, and pressing his lips to her forehead, consoling her. "Don't worry Misao, kimi ga mamoru----I will protect you, no matter what. I will find who ever are behind this, I promise." Misao looked at him, and Soujiro's face is of pure seriousness-and how calm he appears, his indigo eyes are full of silent rage within their depths.  
  
Sanosuke let out one rough cough, as if to make aware of his presence. "You two love birds have to cut that out, we have enough for one whole day---- lets go home, ne?"  
  
"Hai, I'll j------"Misao gasped, and clutched her bosom tightly, she felt a jabbing pain. She instantly sees the worry in Soujiro's face. It's bad to Misao to get her stressed and upset, it would mean a premature labor or she would either lose the child.  
  
"I'll get us a ride home," Sanosuke replied tersely, and gave Misao a reassuring squeeze at the shoulder, "You sit down, ok?"  
  
She nodded, but there is a gamut of emotions that played across her face when he mentioned "a ride home." He quickly understood it, and hailed a local man-driven cart. It will drive them shortly back to their home.  
  
****  
  
The ride was marked with some uneasy silence, as Misao worried that her stomach starts to hurt increasingly more and more, and that she might have the baby soon. "But it's too early." Sano remarked, "It's been only seven months----"  
  
"The doctor told us the seventh will be the sensitive stage," Soujiro replied.  
  
"AND since you knew better, you shouldn't have leave her at home than bringing her outside to Shirobeko!"  
  
"Stop it Sano!" Misao quickly countered, although she was badly shaken although out the day, she didn't fail to notice Sano's sudden hostility with Soujiro. He was always ever suspicious, knowing that if anything happen to Misao----he can't forgive himself. Just like Okina, he suspect of Soujiro being darkly linked to her accident that causes his amnesia. None to which she does care, "I've gone with Soujiro with my own free will; he did not force me to go."  
  
"Misao---" Soujiro said, with a look of surprise. It was him who insisted her to go.  
  
"I've decided that on my own, he is not at fault here okay?"  
  
"I'm just being concerned Misao. You just can't trust someone just easily--- not with your state."  
  
"I know what I'm doing, so stop it!" she lashed back, with the cart having already stopped down in front of the dojo she can't keep to herself anymore. She hastily stepped out, "At least he has always been there, so you have no right to judge!"  
  
" I'm not judging anyone! It's I-------" he shrugged, she left and is making her way to the dojo. Soujiro silently stepped out of the cart, he was the last to leave. He gave the ronin one hard look, " Remember, I'll keep an EYE on you."  
  
****  
  
Very much well, Soujiro keep in mind of Sano's words. He can't tell him yet of his recent discovery--- he is not prepared yet. He is not even sure how they would take it, hoping that all he was able to recall is not true. It's not what it seems, its nothing but a nightmare---he said to himself. He don't want to remember anything, not now.  
  
He wondered what happened to Yuri, they don't have time to stop by as they hurriedly took Misao home. " I hope she can make it, I hope she is alive."  
  
Then there came an ear-piercing shriek, followed by more hysterical screams.  
  
Both Sanosuke and Soujiro turned around, "Misao!!!"  
  
Sanosuke was the first to quickly react on impulse and hurriedly ran, and he was able to spot Misao standing and trembling in front of a tree near the temple. Her hand is cupping her mouth and her face awashed with full absolute terror. The way Sano sees it, whatever she did see will make her collapse any minute now. His blood ran cold, as she screamed, this time it's.  
  
"Aoshi!!!"  
  
He follows her terrified gaze, and saw a shilouette of a person---better yet, hanging by the tree. And his face drew to a pallid shock, "What on the."  
  
"Aoshi!! Aoshi-sama!! No!!! Why?!" she cried wildly, that Sano has to quickly hold her tight and hugged her near so she won't force to see the appaling sight "You don't have to see it, you---". Aoshi is already long dead, but the method of his death---is refreshed to her mind at the sight, of the murder victim. What a sick prank to who ever did this, But he inspected much closer, and saw a familiar face.  
  
With it's tattered kimono and the upper torso drenched by dry crusted blood, there is a long lash from its neck, that the head was nearly severed by the rope.  
  
Yuri.  
  
"What is it Sa----oh my, kusottare!!" Soujiro swore, as he catches up and see what's going on. "W-what kind of sick prank is this?"  
  
"It's your friend, Soujiro. She committed suicide---but no, it--" Sano wasn't recover from shock yet, when he felt Misao cringed beneath him, as if she have somehow collapsed. She was heaving, and suddenly he felt that she suddenly became wet---and he saw his hands stained with blood.  
  
"Damn it, Soujiro! Misao is having her baby now!!"  
  
But Soujiro wasn't listening, even if Sano is at the back screaming to him. He usually panics, but his body won't respond, the sight--- the sight of the dead Yuri, drains all the possible reality that surrounds him.  
  
Yuri is dead, and it's his fault. Fear crawls into him, the way the killer systematically hanged her seems to symbolize something. To make it look suicide. And there is only one person after her before he reluctantly left,  
  
Kamatari.  
  
"Soujiro!!! We don't have time! Mi----" Sano cursed lightly, the youth is obviously on shock. "I'll take her inside, you go get a doctor while I attend to her, quick!"  
  
Soujiro felt a cold tingle in his palms, and slowly they grew numb and a strong wave of nausea fills him, his breathing becoming shallow increasingly each minute. Another searing headache is going to occur, and he fell down the ground to his knees clutching his head. This is not a suicide, she is killed...this is not a suicide.he keeps revebrating the words to his mind,  
  
/ "Of course, this is not suicide Soujiro. We are going to make it look like so." Kamatari said, with a small wicked smile curved to his lips. They talking and having sake by the back alley of some broken down restaurant. " Besides, if he managed to know--- I go finish him, just as you said." /  
  
Just as I said?  
  
"Soujiro no baka! Get a doctor now!! Get Megumi or somebody!!"  
  
Soujiro reacted mechanically, or by reflex--- even though confused, acceded to Sano's frantic call. He quickly took up and ran outside, his body moving in desperate speed to go to the nearest doctor, but his mind wasn't there. It seems that his memory is starting to flow spontaneously--- and the more he gets a glimpse on it, the more confused he became.  
  
"Stop it, stop getting in my head!"  
  
/ "I think that idea is very stupid. I want to kill him for the embarrassment, but I don't really mean seriou."/ / There is a small laugh, "You care so much for that little weasel? She's nothing! Fat chance you are going to get her attention." He looked back at him, "Eliminate Aoshi and you won't have no rival."/  
  
/ "Rival?"/ / "If there is anything that the weasel cares about its Aoshi, it's the pangs of unrequited love./  
  
/Hmph. It's just puppy love, its fine with me./  
  
/She'll never love a man like she does for Aoshi, my friend. That's the truth. To her, you are just an acquaintance nothing else./  
  
/So what are you thinking?/  
  
/Why don't you see it for yourself tonight?/  
  
Then came another searing pain to his head, a painful longer sensation. Things he reluctantly does not want to remember, but nor can he forget starts forcing itself to his head.  
  
"This cannot be! I don't want to."  
  
He stumbled into path, and after he noticed that he was aimlessly running for awhile--- he managed to reach Megumi's residence by instinct. He must appeared so distraught and utterly looking like a nervous wreck that Megumi didn't waste time packing her things the moment he called out her for an emergency.  
  
"Misao is giving birth now, so how long was it when she had her contractions?" she quickly asked, as she hailed a carriage. She was amazed that Soujiro ran all the way from Okina's place to hers. "Did her water bag broke?"  
  
"Yes it did, Sanosuke managed to scoop her in a safe place in the house--- I think she is ble." he turned pale, "H-hold it, I haven't told you yet that Misao is giving premature labor!"  
  
"You don't but some strange man with amber eyes met up with me and told me she will do so anytime soon." 


	14. NOTICE

Notice to my readers:  
  
Please be reminded that my current titles on this fictions are not being discontinued ^^; I just don't have enough time (and inspiration) to finish my series YET---but long delayed updates will be resumed by late March. Currently, I'm using my other ffnet. author account RaVen0us for lemonish works---so---after I did some stuff there I will finish my works here soon enough. If anyone would be interested, Im willing to accept collaboration for my soujiro-misao titles if that will it take just to finish them.  
  
Come what may,  
  
Ori Oscuro 


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